Featured Stupid things the cops have said to you?

[nick]

the first time i got pulled over, cop asked me if i had any drugs, alcohol, weapons, bomb making materials, or kiddy porn. thought that was weird.

3 in the morning i was skating back from the gas station, i skated across the street, ollied up the curb back onto the sidewalk. probably 50 yards down the street a car speeds up (i was already across, making my way home), makes a u-turn and flips his lights on. he actually ran my name, asked me where i was, where i was going, and if i liked gilbert, az. so he tlls me to be careful because i could get hit by a car..at 3am, with not a car in site..

 

[Mouse]

then he points at me and says "especially you."

haha. they never seems to realize it's usually us girls that will get the guys to do messed up stuff not the other way around.

 

[bote]

hitchhiking somewhere along the Columbia river, heading for mutant fest last year, cop pulls over for routine check of dirty man (me)

ocifer: is that a flashlight on your belt?

Moi: it`s an asp, not springloaded though

police: maybe so, but I could still charge you with carrying a concealed weapon

 

[veggieguy12]

bote, is an Asp a telescoping baton, right?
Stop keepin' it "concealed" on your belt, fuckwad!

Make it easy to see for the nice policeman: Have it open, fully extended, firmly grasped in-hand, and raised above your head.

 

[bote]

hehe, yep, made me chuckle too, after he drove off of course

 

[RebeccaSoup]

What shithole is that?

Charlotte, North Carolina.

 

[veggieguy12]

Charlotte was tough shit for me and a lady to hitch out of - and then the goddam CSX IM yard worker told me (after hours & hours of waiting) that there'd be no SBDs because of a derailment in the east.
But the city did have a big, fancy, expensive mall for me to... "shop" at.
Holla!

 

[Raging Bird]

"If y'all were sleeping ten feet to the right, we'd have you working on the pea farm first thing monday morning"

 

[Raging Bird]

"I'm gonna have to ask you two to leave the state of south carolina immediately..."

 

[Mouse]

"If y'all were sleeping ten feet to the right, we'd have you working on the pea farm first thing monday morning"

what why? *confused*

 

[Street_Siren]

I remember I was walking thru Chicago with a few friends when 5-0 crawls up behind us and then start yelling "put your hands on the dash!" and "wheres the blow?" they then, without asking any questions, handcuffed us all to each other. Well, they asked all the usual questions, and then searched our bags. I had found this decent sized dear bone and was carrying it around, you know, very basic shin type bone. I remember the cop as he announced every item he pulled out, calling it a chicken bone. I'de like to know what kind of chicken is that size. Then they found our bud, about a half ounce. Without even asking who we were/nor even running our names, they just took our bud and left, dirty fuckers smoked it all I bet.

 

[keg]

xxxxx

 

[veggieguy12]

I remember I was walking thru Chicago with a few friends when 5-0 crawls up behind us and then start yelling "put your hands on the dash!"...

Cop told you to put your hands on his dashboard?
So how'd that work out?

 

[Street_Siren]

Cop told you to put your hands on his dashboard?
So how'd that work out?

He signaled to the hood, but yeah the cop really wasn't all that bright.

 

[Shoestring]

On our way to Selkirk, me and another bo got pulled off our train out by the airport in Cleveland, Ohio, by a stupid ass cop and the cop said:
"What's your social security number"?
I said my SS# real fast-like to him, then he said:
"Slow down! I'm not a typewriter"!
My partner said:
"No! Your a human, just like us"!

(I just got a kick out of him screwing up and saying typewriter instead of computer)......

 

[Dirty Rig]

I had a circle-N and a circle-A drawn on my pack with a sharpie. A cop noticed them while searching me and called me a "left-wing antarcticist."


Yeah, man. Gotta keep those penguins in line.

 

[smellyskelly]

"why are you walking on the sidewalk, instead of the bike lane" when i was walking down a 12 lane highway in north east philly. he seriously pulled me over and asked that.

 

[drun_ken]

to this day I still get a giggle out of this one...

Im in Humbolt in that lil central park in the middle of town. hanging out with some people. we're chilling on a bench at the edge of the park and my 7 month old puppy is asleep under my feet. a cop comes up to me and says "You can't have your dog stagnent in the downtown area!" I look at him and say "stagnent??! he's a napping puppy not a rancid puddle. what kinda rule is that?" and then we're told to leave.

halerious

 

[rockclimberr]

"Can you two stop beating each other with sticks?"
Playing with kendo sticks at a park in new bedford, ma. heh

 

[sprout]

A few years ago some of my friends and I were riding our bikes around in Los Angeles. At four in the morning, we had been drinking and having a good time on the bottom level of a parking structure at the USC campus when stupid fucking tofu bacon comes speeding down four cars deep, point guns at us and tell us to get against the wall. We had covered most of the ground and the walls with things we wrote in chalk and they started making a huge deal about it.

Cop: This is VANDALISM!
Us: It's chalk... it washes off.
Cop: OH YAAAH? How would you like it if I came to your house and wrote chalk ALL over your sidewalk.
Us:...We'd be cool with that. You are welcome to draw on our block anytime.
Cop: Well..... that's not the point!!

Cop in the background reading our "graffiti" over the radio:
Ya, it looks like it says... 'ROBO0111000101010010TZ, MUH THA FUH KAZ'