Featured Stupid things the cops have said to you? (1 Viewer)

Joined
Sep 4, 2009
Messages
40
Location
southern california
I was like 17 years old, me and some friends would get stoned and go get donuts and some chocolate milk at the only 24 hr wal-mart supercenter in California at that time. We called them donut parties. Anyways were all high sittin behind wally world with our donuts and this cop shows up and the first words out of his mouth are "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" "uhhh eating donuts." "YOU BETTER HAVE RECEIPTS FOR THOSE DONUTS!" so we gave him the receipts. "YOU ARE FUCKING IDIOTS WHAT ARE YOU FUCKING MORONS!? ITS 3 AM AND YOUR SITTING BEHIND WALL MART EATING DONUTS!!!!!!? "uh yea" "GO HOME NOW!" and yea he left after that. My friend trent proceeded to have a meltdown after that somthin about losing his job at in n out. anyways i thought it was funny.
 
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Dirty Rig

Wanderer
Joined
Jun 7, 2007
Messages
308
Location
pending.
(hitching on I-85)
Cop: "SO WHERE EXACTLY ARE YOU BOYS HEADED?"
Hesh: "Well, our sign says Virginia."
Cop: "OH. OF COURSE...CARRY ON."
 

Komjaunimas

Newbie
Joined
Sep 25, 2008
Messages
221
Location
London, United Kingdom
In Amsterdam: Were are sitting near our squat, drinking beer and swinging on the swings, a cop with a motorbike pulls over... Cop : You guys aren't throwing up? Us : Nope... and than he drives away...

In Vilnius: Some junkies stole a backpack from my friend, we called the cops, they caught those junkies, as we were waiting in the lobby we hear noises of hits and a voice : Guys stop beating us ... etc. One cop walks out of the room and says : Sorry guys, they say they didn't do it and we can't beat them up much more.
 

little_owl

Newbie
Joined
Oct 19, 2009
Messages
44
Location
Cleveland, OH.
I got stopped by a couple cops while driving home from school. It was just a routine speeding thing but for some idiotic reason one of them was shining their flashlight inside my car and asked if there was blood on the backseat. I was borrowing my mother's car and was pretty sure it wasn't blood and probably just a stain of some sort. The cop wanted to check the backseat and I idiotically let them, they had me put my hands on the window and I couldn't move them while they checked it out. Then they wanted to check the trunk of my car I guess for a dead body. There was nothing and then one of them asked who's purse was on the seat next to me. I said it was mine and the other one apologized saying that his partner didn't mean to be insensitive or something with asking me. It was just a really bizarre and creepy thing that happened and I'm wondering if they were just hoping that I was just a college kid with pot in my car or something.
 

veggieguy12

The Captain
Joined
Nov 2, 2007
Messages
729
Location
around the USA
Cop in the background reading our "graffiti" over the radio:
Ya, it looks like it says... 'ROBO0111000101010010TZ, MUH THA FUH KAZ'
That's hilarious, Officer Dumbass reading a long list of meaningless numbers, surely being careful and precise not to miss one, lest it not match you up with the ROBO 01 OTZ gang in their database.

I was like 17 years old, me and some friends would get stoned and go get donuts and some chocolate milk at the only 24 hr wal-mart supercenter in California at that time. We called them donut parties. Anyways were all high sittin behind wally world with our donuts and this cop shows up and the first words out of his mouth are "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" "uhhh eating donuts." "YOU BETTER HAVE RECEIPTS FOR THOSE DONUTS!" so we gave him the receipts. "YOU ARE FUCKING IDIOTS WHAT ARE YOU FUCKING MORONS!? ITS 3 AM AND YOUR SITTING BEHIND WALL MART EATING DONUTS!!!!!!? "uh yea" "GO HOME NOW!" and yea he left after that. My friend trent proceeded to have a meltdown after that somthin about losing his job at in n out. anyways i thought it was funny.
Fuck them and their demands for receipts! Really, who keeps donut receipts? (well, I guess y'all do), not having that proves nothing criminal at all.

I just recently had a cop talk with me, real friendly-like, and I fabricated an intention to head toward the Amtrak station. And a minute later, after I accept his offer for a ride over there and get into his backseat, he asks, "So, you getting a train outta here?"
To this his partner in the passenger seat looks at him for a sec, and says "No, he's getting a jumbo jet at the Amtrak, whaddaya think?" I felt bad for ol' driver-cop.
 

veggieguy12

The Captain
Joined
Nov 2, 2007
Messages
729
Location
around the USA
NICE.
MOVE.
DUDE.

(If you really wanted to identify him and don't get a name or badge number, you could always go with the car number at the time of your encounter. Has anyone ever been voluntarily given a badge number by a cop?)
 

Dirty Rig

Wanderer
Joined
Jun 7, 2007
Messages
308
Location
pending.
Sure state law "requires" it, but you should know by now that cops are going to do whatever the hell they want. Think the courts are gonna uphold the law? Good luck. A squad of boys in blue versus the smelly kid. Yeah fucking right. "Require" all you want. Lyle was busted in the face and is now facing an "inciting a riot" charge because he asked a cop for his badge number. Thinking that a cop will give up that information willingly to some dirty punk on the street with a bone to pick is absolutely laughable.
 

madewithpaint

Newbie
Joined
Jun 5, 2009
Messages
138
Location
south bay, cali
Website
soundcloud.com
After the other cop took the knife off me and I sat back down on the curb, he saw just my right hand/knuckles and said... "Oh nice tattoos, I bet the other hand says YOU, right?!"

I looked up at him and said, "nah, dude. It says cops."

We gave fake names because none of us "had ID". I have no idea how I made it out of that comment, though. Havent been back to that shithole in forever.
that's the funniest shit i've ever heard
 

Swiper

Newbie
Joined
Aug 15, 2009
Messages
27
a cop was arresting me for stealing and he asked me if i was a girl, and told the people i stole from that they should just throw all the merchandise away because i smell so bad that they couldnt resell it. hahahahahahaa
 

Wolfeyes

Rambler
Joined
Oct 26, 2009
Messages
161
Location
Hernando Beach, Flori-duh
Met a cop in Cincy named Officer Pygh. Apparently he's Vietnamese, and it's a fairly common surname over there...

Driving home from a friends house, theres this spot where the speed limit goes from 55 to 45. I had just pulled onto the road, so I figured why should I go 55 when I've gotta slow down right away anyway(I don't speed, can't afford the fines), so I'm doing 45 in a 55 on a four lane road. Just before the speed limit drops, I see lights in my rearview and pull over, right next to the speed limit sign.

We got through the usual song and dance, then he tells me why he pulled me over. He said, that he had me on radar doing 45 in a 35. The conversation:

Me: Officer, I just pulled off a side street, into a 55 mph zone. There's no way I was speeding if your radar said I was doing 45.
Pig: I saw you back there, but you didn't slow down when the limit dropped, it's 35 over here.
Me: I don't think so officer, In fact if you look at the sign over there, it says 45, not 35.
Pig: Are you calling me a liar? Let me tell you son I've been working on this street for three years and I know what the limit is, and the limit is 35.
Me: Well, if you say so, but could you just look at the sign and tell me what it says.
(at this point, I'm fighting back a smirk, because I've got him)
Pig: Fine, If it'll make this easier I'll check.

He walks around my car, looks at the sign and his face goes blank. He looks at me, looks down at his radar gun, looks back at the sign, then back at the gun, then back at me.

Then he walks over to my window, throws my license and registration into the car and says "Get the hell out of here and don't let me catch you speeding again" goes back to his car and drives off.

I was laughing so hard it took 20 minutes for me to drive off.
 

Pretzel

Newbie
Joined
Nov 17, 2009
Messages
20
Location
Earth
The most annoying thing is when they ask what your doing.

like... fuck you asshole im existing what the fuck are you doing?
harassing me thats what now fuck off.
 

Bullet

Newbie
Joined
Jun 12, 2009
Messages
66
Location
Asheville, NC
I recently had to go to court for a charge of "resist delay and obstructing an officer" by taking a photo of a traffic stop with my cell phone camera. When the cop was testifying against me, he actually said "with the way they make cellphones these days, I can't tell if she's got a projectile in there. It coulda been a gun and I was concerned for my safety."

I didn't know whether to laugh or scream in frustration. Turns out the judge agreed with him, though, and I had to pay a $245 fine and narrowly avoided 30 days in jail plus a year of strict probation.

This isn't a case of what a stupid cop said, but more of a stupid thing I said to a cop...
I was skinny dipping with some friends and my friend's 6 year old son out in the woods somewhere, and someone called the cops on me. We were kinda drunkish and by the time the cop got there, we were already leaving anyway, so we passed him on the way in and I had my clothes on, etc. So I get in the car with the 6 year old and the cop starts turning back calling "Miss! Miss!" and I'm pretending like I don't hear him, and saying to the kid "close the door! close the door!", but he was too slow and the cop comes up and "blah blah I got a report of you being naked out here..."
If I drink even a little I get kinda mouthy, and rather than denying it or just saying "sorry it won't happen again", I pointed to the kid and went "Well HE was naked too!!"
Maybe not so smart...also didn't work. And in an effort to get out of there, I said something about needing to take my kid home, and the stupid kid pipes up with "I'm not your kid!!!" Jesus. I thought I was gonna get seriously fucked. Afterward his dad gave him the ol' "when someone says something to the cops, just go along with it" talk.
 

RideMoreTrains

Pilgrim
Joined
Apr 4, 2009
Messages
88
Location
kentucky most of the time
ha no cop has EVER voluntarily given me there badge number.

I once asked a cop for his badge number and he laughed in my face and said he doesn't have to give it to me because of the patriot act and I need to stop being a "street lawyer" when I told him the law. I was later arrested and spent the following few nights in jail.
 

sprout

Rambler
Joined
Aug 25, 2009
Messages
142
Oh. Just remembered:

Six of us got stuck hitching 70 miles out of Pittsburgh in some little ass town of Beaver County, Ohio. This town hated us the moment we were dropped off. It was a fucking nightmare. After a day of being constantly berated by the locals and the cops, we tried once more to hitch the rest of the way to Pittsburgh. We broke into teams and hit the on ramps.

I was with my buddy and his dog when one of the cops pulled up. The dog started barking and the cop got out and said,
"I got a report you two were flying a sign that says, OUR PITBULL IS DEAD."
We looked at him and then at the dog and replied that the dog was clearly alive and that our sign clearly said PITTSBURGH PLEASE!

He mumbled something and then told us to walk four miles to a truck stop where we would have more luck. We later found out four miles in the direction he pointed us was just out of his jurisdiction.
 
Joined
Feb 23, 2009
Messages
153
Was drinkin with a friend and a homebum in this park in colorado springs. Some cop pulls up and asks for ID and tells us to get rid of the beer. We walked to the garbage can behind him with the rest of the case while he was running our names and we start drinking this beer as fast as we possibly could. The cop runs my name and turns around and says "wait your only 18, you cant be drinking" while I'm in like mid gulp staring at him ha. So we just set the case in the garbage to be retrieved later while the homebum is going off on this fucking monologue about how he hates hippies and he's a metalhead doooooood. The cop is just rolling his eyes and he says alright ditch the beer in yer hand. the homebum says can I drink it? Cop looks around kinda and says aw fuck it. Tells us how to take a bus to denver and leaves. Coulda been busted for a lot of different things but the cops were really cool
 

Komjaunimas

Newbie
Joined
Sep 25, 2008
Messages
221
Location
London, United Kingdom
Oh. Just remembered:

Six of us got stuck hitching 70 miles out of Pittsburgh in some little ass town of Beaver County, Ohio. This town hated us the moment we were dropped off. It was a fucking nightmare. After a day of being constantly berated by the locals and the cops, we tried once more to hitch the rest of the way to Pittsburgh. We broke into teams and hit the on ramps.

I was with my buddy and his dog when one of the cops pulled up. The dog started barking and the cop got out and said,
"I got a report you two were flying a sign that says, OUR PITBULL IS DEAD."
We looked at him and then at the dog and replied that the dog was clearly alive and that our sign clearly said PITTSBURGH PLEASE!

He mumbled something and then told us to walk four miles to a truck stop where we would have more luck. We later found out four miles in the direction he pointed us was just out of his jurisdiction.
Wtf seriously? more and more i think that half of american population is braindead ....
 

Nym

Newbie
Joined
Mar 2, 2009
Messages
133
Location
Down South
i had a cop yell at me...
"Shut UP miss Smith!
Your EVERYWHERE!!"
ahaha
thats was in rosevile hop out
 

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