Featured Stupid things the cops have said to you?

[st1tch]

-If you don`t abide by the law, the law will abide by you!


Stupidest shit I think I`ve ever heard.

 

[UrbanNokizaru]

Lately cops keep asking me if I'm ok. I think it's the polite way of asking what I'm doing. Not sure I'm usually just pull up ask me if I'm alright and then roll off *shrug*

 

[614 crust]

Getting fucked with in Savannah Georgia this cop says to me "Wheres your dog?" " I thought all the dog people had dogs"

 

[Dirty Rig]

-If you don`t abide by the law, the law will abide by you!

what the hell does that even mean?

 

[st1tch]

what the hell does that even mean?

Apparently if we don't follow the rules, they will change in order to suit our needs. He said it at the end of this huge rant about our lifestyle choice and what not, he was also retarded.

 

[fluke1986]

We were drunk off our asses at the san antone hop out. the whole area is a black "ghetto" community. but that didn't bother us none despite the color of our skin. we went on a beer run, probably the 3rd or 4th one that night, and on our way back the cops stop us. we were pretty wasted and i dont remember most of it. my freind pippin was so drunk that when he saw the cops he ditched the can of beans he was eating. ha, but thats besides the point. so after hasseling us for abit one of the cops exclaimed,"what the fuck are you doing in this area? these niggers will fucking kill you!". then they bought us cheeseburger. it was a very unique experience.

 

[smellyskelly]

standing at the bus stop.
cop rolls up and asks what im doing.

 

[veggieguy12]

We were drunk off our asses at the san antone hop out. the whole area is a black "ghetto" community. but that didn't bother us none despite the color of our skin. we went on a beer run, probably the 3rd or 4th one that night, and on our way back the cops stop us. we were pretty wasted and i dont remember most of it. my freind pippin was so drunk that when he saw the cops he ditched the can of beans he was eating. ha, but thats besides the point. so after hasseling us for abit one of the cops exclaimed,"what the fuck are you doing in this area? these niggers will fucking kill you!". then they bought us cheeseburger. it was a very unique experience.

Nice to know I can still join The Klan in San Antonio, TX.

 

[hg14]

so I've never had a story like some of the others, but one day i'm walking down the street in sf and this cop stops (i was in a suburban neighborhood) and pulls in front of me gets out

asks >can I see some id?
me >no, why do you need to see it?
cop >someone just robbed a target and the description fits the way your dressed
(i had a hooded sweater covered by a carhart jacket pants converse all black plus i had just hitched from colorado got there at night slept til morning in the dirt under the bridge just a few feet away)
me >really, what else does this supposed thief wear or have on his face?
cop > that's not important, dont make this hard on yourself sir

anyways like everyone else here I give him my id (out of state one)

and blah blah blah...

this is not the first it has happened too, guess i look like a criminal(oh well)

it's not strange or crazy but i wanted to add mine, don't like being left out of a good thread

 

[veggieguy12]

It's amazing how many supposed robberies are never solved because all a cop does is just check IDs of potential perpetrators in the area, but of course the ID reveals nothing about the big crime that just went down in that area...
They're not even creative are they, they don't have to be because they have all the power. No more free ID-glimpses for police!

 

[db3kfan]

Me and my buddy, who travels with a mandolin were hitching south from Arcata to Berkeley on the freeway, not on an on ramp. A cop pulled over and ran our IDs.

Cop: Why do I have to tell you fuckers every fucking time not to hitch on the god damned freeway. Get on the on ramp!

Me: Different people every time?

Buddy: I see people doing it all the time, dude...didn't think it was that big a deal.

Cop, looking at my buddies mando: Well, if I saw everyone if the world smashing each other over the head with their mandolins, would that be ok too?!

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We used to have a lot of people over at the house i grew up in. Shady characters, a lot of drugs. It eventually got to the point where Fresno County sent their gang task force to our house to investigate.

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Was playing my harmonica on a fountain near a red robin in my home town. cop pulls up, shining his light in my eyes, and tells me to go over to him and he tells me the alarm went off in the red robin and he wants to know what im doing there. i look at my harmonica and say i was playing it. he gets out of the car, i reach in my pocket for the harmonica case and he thinks its a weapon im reaching for so he throws me against the car and almost breaks my arm putting me in handcuffs.

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prolly more, but i gotta think about it

 

[db3kfan]

Oh yeah. I crossed a parking lot in front of a truck and he honked, said something like, "Watch the fuck out!" I flipped him off and he slammed on the brakes, held up a couple cars, threw me against the truck bed and told me he was an off duty cop. He took my wallet without permission and started looking through it, pulled out zigzags and ran my name for warrants. Nothing turned up so he got back in his truck and had to listen to me laugh at him the whole time he drove off.

 

[veggieguy12]

Yeah, when around cops, keep your hands from suddenly going places, especially into pockets or under your jacket, etc. - unless you really do gotta pull your piece.

 

[finn]

Yeah, when around cops, keep your hands from suddenly going places, especially into pockets or under your jacket, etc. - unless you really do gotta pull your piece.

I usually talk through all my actions when I'm dealing with a cop, as in "I'm reaching for my whatever in my pocket," just so they get less jumpy, pretty much the same thing you do when you're treating someone for an injury (I'm washing out your wound with water to get a better look at it, etc).

 

[Dirty Rig]

I always smoke when I'm dealing with cops; it's a nervous habit. And I usually ask the cop before I do so ("Hey, do you mind if I smoke a cigarette while we do all this?") and they're usually cool. But man alive, I've had cops snatch that cigarette right outta my mouth and stomp on the pack. I probably shouldn't keep doing that, but I can't really help it.

 

[sprout]

I would like to share the encounter with LAPD that I had tonight.

Kicking it in a parking lot, drinking. My buddy started freaking out about a cop that drove by. I told him he was being paranoid and litterally a fraction of a second later I saw the telltale cop flashlight. All three of us smoothly hid our beers.
Distractedly, the cops said;
"We got complaints you were being loud. We don't give a fuck. Just move or something."

US: "Uh Ok."

Them: "You guys drinking? Eh, whatever, could we get like a last name or something?"

US: *saying our last names*

Them: "Huh, Jones? Yeah, okay, cool. Naw, don't bother getting out your IDs."
*get in their car, peel out*

US: *scratching our heads, finishing our beers*

 

[hg14]

it don't make a lick a sense

 

[hassysmacker]

While with Ray Beez, Lyle Crocodile, T-bone, and Slanky:

Ray Beez is driving through RVA. We get pulled over, and the cops asks us if she knows why she gout pulled over. She asked "Do I have too many people i nthe car?" "The officer responds, "No, thats okay, but you just ran a red light" (for the record, somehow NONE of us noticed it, so I wonder...).

Anyway he goes back to his car, runs her license, and comes back, and tells her "Look I'm gonna let you go, but please don't do anything stupid. The last person I let go without a ticket went home and burnt his mothers house down!"

WHAT
THE
FUCK?

 

[madewithpaint]

what the fuck indeed.

 

[drunken marauder]

I have a FEW i HEAR quit often.... Your not under arrest yet Sir the handcuffs are for "your protection."