Featured Stupid things the cops have said to you? (1 Viewer)

mumblz

Newbie
I deleted myself
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Messages
19
Location
here
'This is a pretty conservative town for people like you"

-driving while black through Russel, Kansas
 
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Taylor Werner

Pilgrim
Joined
Sep 29, 2011
Messages
26
Age
31
Location
Seattle, WA
Me: But, we've already talked to other cops today, and they told us it was legal to hitchhike on the ramp, so long as we didn't go onto the interstate.

Cop: You're not hitchhiking. You're soliciting a ride, and soliciting is illegal.
 

Taylor Werner

Pilgrim
Joined
Sep 29, 2011
Messages
26
Age
31
Location
Seattle, WA
Cop, lecturing me and a van full of hitchhiking kids about the dangers of hitchhiking: I mean, what does an axe murder look like?

Fellow hitchhiker: Bald, with a handlebar mustache. (Which described this particular cop.)
 

Cheeks

Newbie
Joined
Mar 26, 2019
Messages
11
Location
Gainesville FL
With 40 years of 'research' these have remained my favorites. Note* asterisk denotes fbi agents:

This is for your safety
While handcuffed at gun point for feeding the homeless.

I Wil blow your fucking head off if you move your hands again!
While an officer had a knee in my back, another with its foot on my left hand, and another with their foot on my right wrist. I rolled my fingers on my right hand from pinky to pointer like one does on a table as I was growing impatient as this was about 10 minutes in that position. The let me go with a warning for 'speeding' on my bike.

Where are you coming from.
Why am I being stopped
I will ask the questions. Where are you headed?
I qoute the FL state statute verbatim regarding Stop and Frisk.
Please step over here sir.
I reqoute the part of the statute pertaining to relocation and tell him he can try to take me to court to change that, otherwise I will be on my way.
What are you a law student?
Just a class conscience citizen that wants to strip you of all of your immunity.
I got on my bike and rode away. Thankfully I'm a middle aged white male or this wouldve have went entirely differently.

*
Do you know anyone currently in Northern Syria?
*
Have you had any correspondence with anyone in Northern Syria?
*
Do you normally take cream and/or sugar with your iced coffee?
As one of them gets out of the car to go into the place I stop every day for coffee on my way to work.
 

BradKajukenbo

Vagabond
Joined
Jun 5, 2019
Messages
207
Age
44
Location
Redding, California
jason-tacbas-jpg.50743


Meet Officer Jason Tacbas of the United States Forestry Law Enforcement. Us locals refer to them as TREE COPS

During my employment with Antlers Shell station in Lakehead California, he came in one day and bought a Snickers bar and a Blue Poweraide. The next day I was at the lake with my two sons enjoying a nice refreshing swim on a 105 degree day. Out of nowhere he rolled up. Demanding I tell him what kind of drugs I have. Told me he wondered why I had a tool box in the back of my truck. Then told me he ran my name and I was named as a suspect in all the break in's around town and that the tool box confirmed his suspicions. Also since I was in a national forest he needed no warrant or probable cause to search. Now I'm not going to lie. I had 2 grams of Train Wreck. I told him that he didn't need to be so rude and such an asshole.

Me: I wasn't rude to you yesterday when you came in to my store.
Tree Cop: I never been in your store.

Come to find out that same day he had stopped 5 other Shell employees. Two weeks later I was at work when he pulled up to a gas pump. Ran his card and filled his tank. WAIT. WHAT? NO RECEIPT PAPER? Now he wants something from me.

Tree Cop: Just this Snickers and the receipt for number five.
Me: (Just stood there grinning)
Tree Cop: Are you going to help me?
Me: Is that a question?
Tree Cop: Yes. Are you going to help me?
Me: I don't answer questions for law enforcement.
Tree Cop: Really? You really going to do this?
Me: I don't answer questions for law enforcement.
Tree Cop: Can I talk to your manager?
Me: You mean the lady you harassed and treated like a criminal on the same day you did the exact same to me?
Tree Cop: I'm going to tell you right now that what you are doing is a felony. You can not harass me for a ticket I gave you.
Me: I'm not harassing you. I'm being an asshole. Sucks huh?
Tree Cop: I'm going to go call a deputy sheriff out here. He is going to handcuff you and You will be arrested.
Me: *Leaning over the counter looking at his gun belt* Are your handcuffs broken? If I am committing a felony, isn't it your obligation to arrest me?
Tree Cop: I'll be back with a deputy.
Me: I'm off at three.

Never came back. His supervisor called the next day and we faxed him the receipt and told him to keep his nazi's out of our store.
 

R3d

Simulacrum
StP Supporter
Joined
Aug 12, 2019
Messages
12
Location
Not exactly sure
This cop is searching my for some non reason I can't even remember. He pulls condoms out of my pack and, glaring, says with a totally straight face , "Getting lucky?"

Edit: When I start laughing he asks, "You think this is funny?"
 

WyldLyfe

I'm a d-bag and got banned.
Banned
Joined
Jun 3, 2019
Messages
236
Location
tasmania
"We are the biggest gang in the city and all our members carry a firearm, so don't fuck with us" before spraying my friend in the face with mace. Not really a stupid thing to say but kinda true.. they are just foot soldiers tho that carry out the will of the state, thats there.. job.

I have recently been pulled over by a police officer, he took my license for 6 months, as a rubber tramper that kinda sucks because I use my car to sleep in an cruise around.. anyway I ask him can you let me off, I use this car and its kinda important to get to work ect.. he could see the platform Iv made to sleep on in the car. He just scoffed and said "every one blames the police, do you think im a buffoon mate?" his comment was kinda random and slightly funny..

So now iv lost my job an my nomadic home for 6 months, gonna bike it an camp out places, just godda adapt an be versatile, and if anyones like just still drive man who cares, bro.. I didn't think Id lose my license for 6 months, I was on a 12 months good driving ticket thing and messed it up, if I continue to drive an get caught it'll just snowball, thats how it goes and before you know it, you could possibly be more fucked with it plus they got those cameras now that flag cars as they drive past n stuff.. so ill just wait this one out cause I'd like to use my car.. in six months instead of I dunno two years or something..
 

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