So does anyone have any jokes??

[xbocax]

there is a house...on the first floor live a bunch of hippies...on the second a bunch of skin heads...on ther third a bunch of punk kids....there is a fire who survives....the skinheads they were at work....

I just posted this one haha

 

[drun_ken]

a dozen or so light bulb jokes...

how many hippes
crusties
or activists does it take to change a light blub...none they never change anything

how many feminist does it tak... i don't find that funny

how many cops does it tak...can i see yer ID son

how many ravers does it take ta change a light bulb...i don't know but im blowin up can a give me a massage

how many goths
emo kids does it take ta change a light bulb...fuk it let em cry
write poetry in the dark

how many irish men does it take ta change a light bulb...1 ta hold the light bulb and the rest ta drink till the room spins

how many sceenster kids does it take ta change a light bulb...1 the good news they fell off the step stool tryin ta take a pic on thier cell phone for face space or what the hell ever while they were doin it

how many squatters does it take ta change a light bulb...wait wait wait yer squat has electricity and were drinkin in the cold under a bridge

 

[Komjaunimas]

if there a building with 3 stories
the first level has punks
2nd has hippies
and 3rd has skins
who would survive ina earthquake?
skins because they'd be at work

Good one, have forgotten about this, but somehow i can't shake the feeling that this joke can partialy be true, most of the "real life situation" jokes comes from similair life events. What do you think?

 

[JoeGerminate]

Q.How many cops does it take to shingle a roof?
A.Depends on how thinly you slice them.

Q. when is it appropriate to give a cop a wink and a smile
A. *wink, smile, and pretend you are shooting a gun*

Q.why couldn't the baby walk down the hallway?
A.Because it had a javelin through its neck

 

[Komjaunimas]

The metalhead dude is holding a punkrocker in a headlock.
M: Are you going to grow long hair?
P: No
*A smack in a face
M: Are you going to grow long hair?
P: No
*A smack in a face
M: Are you going to grow long hair?
P: Yes
M: How long?
P: Up to the ceiling

 

[tallhorseman]

I little tongue-tied boy goes trick-or-treating dressed as a Pirate.

An intellectual answers the door and says, "You look like a Pirate".

The boy says, "Yeah, I a Piwate".

The Intellectual says, "A Pirate's nothing without his Buccaneers. Where's your Buccaneers"?

The boy just looks at him and blinks.

The Intellectual repeats himself, "Where's your Buccaneers, son"?

The boy finally answers, "My buckin ears are on the thide of my buckin head you buckin ath-hole. Where're your buckin eyes"???!!!

 

[mbgeorge]

what do you give a squatter with everything?

anti-biotics

 

[L.C.]

so a gay guy gives a crusty kid a ride.asks if he wants a drink. he says sure.they go to a bar the gay guy whispers into his ear "do you want a blow job?" the kid kicks the shit out of him and sits down and drinks his beer. the bar tender asks" what did he say?". the kid says"i don't know,sumthin about getting a job".

 

[Wolfeyes]

Q: How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Two if they're small enough...

Say "Tickle Test" five times as fast as you can.

Q:What's the difference between a crappy golfer and a crappy skydiver?
A: A crappy golfer goes "WHACK! DAMNIT!" and a crappy skydiver goes "DAMNIT! WHACK!"

Q: How many witches does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Depends on what you want it turned into...

 

[simpletoremember]

Q: How many CrimethINC kids does it take to change a light bulb
A: While were sitting on the roof top of the abandoned factory we had been squatting, eating our freshly dumpstered bagels. We stared up at the stars and thought we could change that light bulb or we could change the world

 

[maemovesmadlyon]

Q: How many CrimethINC kids does it take to screw in a light bulb
A: While were sitting on the roof top of the abandoned factory we had been squatting, eating our freshly dumpstered bagels. We stared up at the stars and thought we could change that light bulb or we could change the world

LOL YES. I love this one.

 

[iamwhatiam]

okay here's a couple:

Why do gays check out of hotels so early in the morning?
They get their shit packed the night before.
------------------
Why does Hellen Keller masturbate with one hand?
She moans with the other.
------------------
Why did the walrus go to the tupperware party?
He was looking for a tight seal.
------------------
okay...and here's a nasty one to finish the lot out:

So a guy was eatin this chick out real good. He was goin down on her...goin to town...eatin her out real good when all of a sudden he comes across a piece of corn up in her snatch. He picks it out and keeps going. a little while later, he finds a piece a broccolli...he thinks to himself, "gross", but picks it out and continues. Then, he comes across a piece of carrot and has had enough. He says, "Jeeze, what's the deal? Are you sick or somethin?" "No", she replies, "but the last guy who ate me out sure was."

Lol.

 

[crow]

you might've heard this one

Two homeless men are standing around bragging about their day. The First hobo says "Today i found $100, and was able to buy a nice hot meal. It was a lucky day.

to which the second hobo replies: "oh yeah, my day was way better! I was at the train yard, and found a woman tied to the train tracks. After I untied her.."

The first hobo cuts in,
"Did you get a blow job?"

"Naw, I couldnt find her head but, we fucked all day"

 

[Gudj]

you might've heard this one

Two homeless men are standing around bragging about their day. The First hobo says "Today i found $100, and was able to buy a nice hot meal. It was a lucky day.

to which the second hobo replies: "oh yeah, my day was way better! I was at the train yard, and found a woman tied to the train tracks. After I untied her.."

The first hobo cuts in,
"Did you get a blow job?"

"Naw, I couldnt find her head but, we fucked all day"

Oh bummer.

 

[MiztressWinter]

How do you get an emo out of a tree? You cut the rope

What's another name for a goth girl? A Crow-ho

Why did the submissive cross the road? Because her master told her to.

True Masochist to a True Sadist: Hurt me.
True Sadist to a True Masochist: No.

Top 10 Things You'll Never Hear a sub say to their Master

1. How was I supposed to know I wasn't supposed to put your leather pants in the washer?
2. Yeah, right... SPANK THIS!
3. Tomorrow night, I get to tie you up, right?
4. God, you Dom's think the world should bow before you!
5. And just what do you think you are going to do with that paddle?
6. Sorry, I got a date tomorrow night. Some other time, perhaps?
7. Spanking? I-THINK-NOT!
8. Who died and left you in charge?
9. Do your own damn laundry!
   • And the #1 thing you will never hear a sub say to their Master...
10. What do I look like, your maid?

 

[elvis jalapeno]

how does a red-neck girl know when her mom is on her period?



her brothers dick tastes funny.

 

[ayron]

hehe the crimethinc one is fucking great

 

[Everymanalion]

I will go first...


What is Al Quedas favorite football team?

The new york jets!

Your turn!

 

[Deleted member 363]

ha, that was good​

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You shouldn't make fun of concentration camps and the Jews. My grandfather died at a concentration camp........he fell out of a guard tower.​

 

[Everymanalion]

Come on you guys! i know you have more, no way you spent all that time on the road not thinking up super disrespectful jokes for JUST THIS MOMENT!