What's the best party of marrying a panda ?
People can't notice the black eyes !
People can't notice the black eyes !
So does anyone have any jokes??
- Thread starter drunken marauder
- Start date
what did hellen keller say about the cheese grater she got for xmas?
it was the most violent novel shes ever read!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
depends on how hard you throw them!
what do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?
nothin you aint told her twice already!
it was the most violent novel shes ever read!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
depends on how hard you throw them!
what do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?
nothin you aint told her twice already!
Everymanalion
Well-known member
What do Pink Floyd and Dale Earnheart have in common......? Their last big hit was the wall
.
.
Joe Btfsplk
Well-known member
If the eagle is a symbol of the United States and the dove is a symbol for peace, which bird is a symbol for true love?
The swallow.
The swallow.
Fine. It isn't mine but I did find it:
A hobo traveling thru the countryside stops at a widow's house and does some chores in exchange for food. She invites him to spend the night as she would have more work for him to do next day. As they were preparing to get into the only bed, she places a pillow in middle to keep the sides of bed separated. The next day they were both working in the yard when a gust of wind blows her bonnet off and over a fence. The hobo says, "I'll get it for you ma'am." She says, "never mind, I will get it myself, if you can't climb over a pillow, there is no way you can climb over that fence."
A hobo traveling thru the countryside stops at a widow's house and does some chores in exchange for food. She invites him to spend the night as she would have more work for him to do next day. As they were preparing to get into the only bed, she places a pillow in middle to keep the sides of bed separated. The next day they were both working in the yard when a gust of wind blows her bonnet off and over a fence. The hobo says, "I'll get it for you ma'am." She says, "never mind, I will get it myself, if you can't climb over a pillow, there is no way you can climb over that fence."
bwad99
Active member
on one side of the world there is a person walking a tight rope over a very deep canyon.
on the opposite side of the world there is a young man getting head from a 65 year old woman.
this is happening at the same time when they both have the exact same thought go through their minds.
"don't look down"
how does eric clapton come up with a new hit?
he kills another kid.
person 1: did you hear ellen degeneres died?
person 2: no! oh my god really? how?
person 1: yeah, she drowned in ricki lake.
last one works well with people who watch alot of t.v. and are usually female, ive been punched so many times for that one.
i love bad jokes.
on the opposite side of the world there is a young man getting head from a 65 year old woman.
this is happening at the same time when they both have the exact same thought go through their minds.
"don't look down"
how does eric clapton come up with a new hit?
he kills another kid.
person 1: did you hear ellen degeneres died?
person 2: no! oh my god really? how?
person 1: yeah, she drowned in ricki lake.
last one works well with people who watch alot of t.v. and are usually female, ive been punched so many times for that one.
i love bad jokes.
AnthraxMatt
Well-known member
have i got some horrible jokes for you guys, good for that party under a bridge somewhere.
person 1: did you hear about the new holocaust? it has 1 million jews and a clown
person 2: what the fuck, a clown?
person 1: see nobody cares about the jews
a man is eating a hot dog on the street corner and starts choking on it, a woman walking by stops, grabs his nuts and squeezes. the lodged chunk flies out, "thank you ma'am are you a doctor?" he says, "no" she replies, "im a lawyer"
what happened to helen keller when she fell down a well?
she screamed her hands off
whats the similarity between spinach and anal sex?
if you were forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult
two homeless men are standing around bragging about their day. the first hobo says "today i found $20, and was able to buy a nice hot meal. it was my luckiest day ever!". to which the second hobo replies: "oh yeah, my day was way better! i was at the train yard, and found a woman tied to the train tracks. After I untied her, we fucked all day"
"did you get a blow job?"
"naw, i couldnt find her head"
how do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? AIDS
whats white on top and black on bottom? society
whats black on top and white on bottom? rape
how come only 8k mexicans showed up at the Alamo?
they only had 2 trucks
person 1: did you hear about the new holocaust? it has 1 million jews and a clown
person 2: what the fuck, a clown?
person 1: see nobody cares about the jews
a man is eating a hot dog on the street corner and starts choking on it, a woman walking by stops, grabs his nuts and squeezes. the lodged chunk flies out, "thank you ma'am are you a doctor?" he says, "no" she replies, "im a lawyer"
what happened to helen keller when she fell down a well?
she screamed her hands off
whats the similarity between spinach and anal sex?
if you were forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult
two homeless men are standing around bragging about their day. the first hobo says "today i found $20, and was able to buy a nice hot meal. it was my luckiest day ever!". to which the second hobo replies: "oh yeah, my day was way better! i was at the train yard, and found a woman tied to the train tracks. After I untied her, we fucked all day"
"did you get a blow job?"
"naw, i couldnt find her head"
how do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? AIDS
whats white on top and black on bottom? society
whats black on top and white on bottom? rape
how come only 8k mexicans showed up at the Alamo?
they only had 2 trucks
one vampire walks into a bar and orders a vodka cranberry and leaves
a second vampire walks into a bar and orders a rum and coke and leaves
the next vampire walks in and ask for just a cup of hot water
the bartender looks at him with a questioning face
the vampire pulls out a bloody tampon and says, "just making some tea"
a second vampire walks into a bar and orders a rum and coke and leaves
the next vampire walks in and ask for just a cup of hot water
the bartender looks at him with a questioning face
the vampire pulls out a bloody tampon and says, "just making some tea"
dharma bum
anarcho-transcendentalist
if you have a donkey, and i have a rooster, and your donkey bites my rooster's feet off... what do you have?
2 feet of my cock in your ass.
2 feet of my cock in your ass.
sons of vipers
Well-known member
two whales are sitting at a bar, one looks to the the other and says:
eeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyooooowwwwwwwwhhhhhhoooooo
the other one says: "Shut up Steve, you're drunk."
eeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyooooowwwwwwwwhhhhhhoooooo
the other one says: "Shut up Steve, you're drunk."
machzorton
Has yet to join the board
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2012
- Messages
- 23
- Reaction score
- 3
daveycrockett
Well-known member
daveycrockett
Well-known member
kurbster
Member
So my dog sat down and was licking his ballsac, and this dude says "hey, I wish I could do that"
and I said "dude, my dog would bite you"
and I said "dude, my dog would bite you"
kurbster
Member
What's the difference between jelly and jam?
I can't jelly my dick into your ass.
I can't jelly my dick into your ass.
what did the mexican say when the two houses fell on him?
Hey! Get off me homes!
Hey! Get off me homes!
How many squatters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -You're squat has electricity!?!?
What do you call a crusty chick with tattoos of maps all over her? - A navajo
What do you call a crusty chick with tattoos of maps all over her? - A navajo
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