Punks and Marriage

[veggieguy12]

I recommend that any US citizen use his/her power to circumvent immigration laws and help foreigners stay in the USA legally. Check it out, you wanna know what you're getting into, but if you think borders are invalid and 'illegal people' is a nonsense notion, then it's something you can do to fight that. I think it's a great thing to do, and any citizen can.

 

[veggieguy12]

Widerstand, nice link!

I recommend that any US citizen use his/her power to circumvent immigration laws and help foreigners stay in the USA legally. Check it out, you wanna know what you're getting into, but if you think borders are invalid and 'illegal people' is a nonsense notion, then it's something you can do to fight that. I think it's a great thing to do, and any citizen can.

I forgot to note that you won't succeed you're getting any govt. subsidy or if you're a felon. You need to have enough finances to 'sponsor' your immigrant, or have a co-signor who attests that he/she will do so until the applicant is legal to stay and work in the USA (up to 10 years from time of application).

 

[maus]

i would marry the right person if there were financial benefits which there usually are. i could probably get cheaper auto insurance and better financial aid for college. there are other privileges you get like visiting the person in the hospital and youre also exempted from testifying against the other person in certain circumstances

 

[Dameon]

The only way I could see myself getting married is if I accidentally had a child, and then it would just be for the child's benefit. Otherwise, I can't stand the idea of a love contract with an expiration date of "death" and heavy penalties for early termination. A little ceremony, I'm fine with, although I will never ever ever EVER go through one of those stupid expensive "traditional" ceremonies. Seriously, what is wrong with people that they have to spend tens of thousands of dollars throwing an event just to say "let's move in together and make babies"?

 

[dirtbag]

Glass Castle = great read.

Freaks me out that you mentioned it. Some middle aged woman I used to work with gave it to me and said I'd probably enjoy it. Never heard anyone else speak of it, though.

 

[veggieguy12]

The only way I could see myself getting married is if I accidentally had a child, and then it would just be for the child's benefit.

You don't really think that you'd be benefitting the kid, do you?
Maybe in some ways by his/her papers or state-oversight or something, but not if you were staying with someone you didn't intend to be with.

 

[Dameon]

You don't really think that you'd be benefitting the kid, do you?
Maybe in some ways by his/her papers or state-oversight or something, but not if you were staying with someone you didn't intend to be with.

It'd really depend on the circumstances and the mom, I suppose. I don't tend to sleep with women that I don't think I could get emotionally involved with. Unless I'm drunk, then all bets are off

At the very least, it'd be worth a shot, if the circumstances weren't badly against it, and the only way I could see myself being a responsible father involved in my kid's life would be if I tied myself down.

Hopefully, though, the occasion will never come up where that sort of decision has to be made

 

[Ravie]

hmmm i think if i ever got "married" i would have a normal ceremony with rings and such, but no legal contract. love should not be based on anything but being together. it should have nothing to do with money or benefitting anything but the joy of being near your other half. with a child involved its different i guess but im not even sure if there is a child in my future.

 

[bikegeek666]

h. Best way to loose a great friend, marry them or loan them money. I

ha ha...it's true...i've been married (and technically still am) and feel like it's part of what led to the decline in the relationship between me and a woman who's perhaps the most amazing person i've met.

there's some regret there, for sure, but what are you going to do? you just keep moving...

as far as my opinion for anyone else, do it if you want to, but watch out, it might not be what you thought it would be.

 

[veggieguy12]

It'd really depend on the circumstances and the mom, I suppose. I don't tend to sleep with women that I don't think I could get emotionally involved with. Unless I'm drunk, then all bets are off

At the very least, it'd be worth a shot, if the circumstances weren't badly against it, and the only way I could see myself being a responsible father involved in my kid's life would be if I tied myself down.

Hopefully, though, the occasion will never come up where that sort of decision has to be made

Get a fucking vasectomy and it won't!
Plus, there's a free beer in it for ya...

 

[syphilust]

I can think of exactly one marriage that made sense -

a bunch of us rolled into a city and proceeded to get right drunk. About ten hours later we found ourselves in a hotel hallway which we had gotten for free, along with two bottles of champagne and various lil things because two of our friends, who themselves were best friends in a absolutly platonic way, had just gotten married. She took the booze, said "goodnight" to her new husband and they went to seperate rooms. Now everytime they run into some random place they introduce each other as "my wife" etc. funny shit. they're still married and that was about five years ago.

myself? I always said I'll probably end up breaking marriages instead of making 'em (half joking)...although I would definatly marry someone so they could get canuk citizenship....or maybe for ridiculous amounts of cash from a sugar daddy...

 

[katiehabits]

hey Syphilust i've never heard that whole story.... i just know it happened.
ya the only reason i's ever get married would be to get someone citizenship.

 

[Beer Mortal]

Im much too young to think about marriage at anytime or even children.
Im sixteen, but im also not one for short lasting relationships.
I enjoy the idea of commitment but not on that level.
I dont like the idea of marriage or how many are ended or created.
Honestly id be happy with a life partner MAYBE children when im much older and done seeing what I want to see.
For now im happy being affectionate with someone loyal and not full of shit.

 

[atomicpunk]

i would do it again but only with another punk. no more thinkin wit the little head( i hope)

 

[oldmanLee]

Hmmmm,time to pull out my 'bitter old fart".Married twice,divorced twice.Both times with remarkablecreativesexyintellegent people.Both ended acrimoniously.Both tore me up,one almost sent me over the Big Edge(thank a overdeveloped sense of responsiblity to the kids for not going there),both compleatly drained me finacially(and i had primary custody).It was all I could do not to turn into a compleatly misogionistic bastard.Avoided that,and taking out my anger on others.Came to the conclusion that while I know a lot of folks that can marry and hold it together(my own folks will be celebrating thier 53 anniversay on Groundhog's Day this year)its not in my cards.

 

[Monkeywrench]

. Can't figure out how to delete the post.

 

[jon]

Hey it worked for me so far, so far being almost 18 years...

got married in a shitty apartment over a couple bottles of $8 wine (that was the good stuff) about 2 months after meeting my wife. Next day went around telling everyone we were married. Thought we were in a common law state and thought that was about all it took, maybe we were maybe it was, though I'm less sure now. But what the fuck ever, it's a personal commitment nothing to do with religions or states for me.

Did it help? Did it matter? Dunno, might have helped through some of the shittier times, or maybe we would have been just as stubborn and bloody mined about staying together any way, I certainly credit the joint stubborness & bloody minededness for the longevity of the relationship and certainly the start of the marriage, I proposed, some what jokingly, over some fine garlic bread she'd cooked up and she, somewhat jokingly accepted. 18 years and two kids and ALOT of shit later neither of us has backed down, so far as I know we both currently think this is a good thing.

That's the short version of my Punk Rock Love Story.

 

[Wolfeyes]

I'm against the concept of "Legal Marriage" because of it's history and what it represents. Way back when, the process of legally marrying someone was put in place only to prevent inter-ethnic and inter-religious breeding. Blacks couldn't marry whites, Catholics couldn't marry Jews, etc... The concept is intolerant, out dated and just plain ignorant.

Then there's the "property" angle, whereby a woman became property of her husband under a legal marriage. That's one reason why I would never give a woman I had a connection with a ring, even one I made. The ring symbolized ownership.

In my instance, I'm legally unmarried, spiritually on trial separation. An ex gf and I had a DIY spiritual marriage a few years ago. We're still together in some ways, but we see other people, getting back together every now and then for emotional/sexual comfort. We recently discussed going the legal route, so she could get better health care coverage and I could get tax incentives, but we agreed it would ruin what we have.

To that end, I'm still fairly young, and I doubt I'll ever be legally married. I don't need to prove anything to anyone.

 

[anne]

I'm glad you brought up these points.

I'm legally married (for now) and used to even go so far as to wear a big, stupid diamond ring. Now that I know more about what diamonds mean for less developed areas of the world, I can't support that trend. Even the so-called "ethical diamonds" promote cruelty indirectly by advertising a need for them. I was thinking of pawing it at first, but I'll probably just end up flushing it down the toilet.

I "love" my husband and it's likely that we'll be together for a long time, maybe even for the rest of our lives. However, I'm super excited about our upcoming divorce. I'll still get to be on his insurance as a domestic partner and the other benefits that resulted from us being married in the first place are no longer relevant.

Another main reasons why I want to get a divorce is because I don't want to be part of any group that excludes others for religious/crazy reasons. Even if it did include everyone, it's still not cool because it would give benefits to people simply because they have love in their lives while everyone else gets the cold shoulder. It's amazing how so many people are okay with the government trying to pressure them into having only one type of acceptable relationship. Essentially punishing people for being unmarried and not pursuing a traditional way of life.

I'm against the concept of "Legal Marriage" because of it's history and what it represents. Way back when, the process of legally marrying someone was put in place only to prevent inter-ethnic and inter-religious breeding. Blacks couldn't marry whites, Catholics couldn't marry Jews, etc... The concept is intolerant, out dated and just plain ignorant.

Then there's the "property" angle, whereby a woman became property of her husband under a legal marriage. That's one reason why I would never give a woman I had a connection with a ring, even one I made. The ring symbolized ownership.

 

[jon]

Another main reasons why I want to get a divorce is because I don't want to be part of any group that excludes others for religious/crazy reasons.

Hey, I'm right with you on that one Anne. We're in Massachusetts now which is fairly inclusive in terms of "legal" marriage (now), though if that were to change we'd definitely get a divorce and push the "domestic partner" route.