Advice/Support. Graduating High School and issues with family

[ashley]

Last week I went to visit my grandpa at his business with my mom, when I was suddenly surounded by my aunt, grandpa, mom, and cusion. I was intergatted with questions of where I'm going to college after I graduate, and why haven't I applied any where yet. I told them, that I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life, and I don't think anyone can fully understand what they want to be when they haven't even really experienced anything other than years of schooling. I told them I wanted to go traveling again for a while ( this time a longer time lol) , and than from there see where I want to go college for. My grandpa told me " If you love me you will go to school right after you graduate." They basically didn't believe that I'd go back. They told me everyone says "ill go back but never do." I feel terrible for letting my family down, but at least I graduated high school. I can't live my life for everyone else right? Do you think they will get over it? UGHHH This is hard.


Also why would I subject myself to being thosands of dollars in debt for schooling that I have no heart in.

Just some needing some advice, or support.

- ashley:sos:

 

[compass]

They might not get over it, but really, that's their problem to deal with, and unfair to you. You can't live your life for other people.

I'm sorry, but that shit your grandpa said is terribly manipulative, selfish and childish. Why would your love for him be contingent on you going to school. Fucking ridiculous. They're trying to control you, based upon their socially constructed fears. They won't understand.

Live your life.

 

[dirty_rotten_squatter]

Well, it's about what makes you happy and wht you want to do with your life...Your gramps pulled the "if you love me" card you can play it right back..If they loved you, they would understand your wishes. They will get over it, after a while because they're your fam and they do love you. They just can't think outside of the box because all they've known is hard work and school. The thought of something breaking the cycle worries them...It's kinda like ants, they walk in a straight line and if you put something in front it prevents them from going straight and they don't know what to do so they go crazy. after a while theres always one that goes around then the others start to follow.
Good luck

 

[finn]

Last week I went to visit my grandpa at his business with my mom, when I was suddenly surounded by my aunt, grandpa, mom, and cusion. I was intergatted with questions of where I'm going to college after I graduate, and why haven't I applied any where yet. I told them, that I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life, and I don't think anyone can fully understand what they want to be when they haven't even really experienced anything other than years of schooling. I told them I wanted to go traveling again for a while ( this time a longer time lol) , and than from there see where I want to go college for. My grandpa told me " If you love me you will go to school right after you graduate." They basically didn't believe that I'd go back. They told me everyone says "ill go back but never do." I feel terrible for letting my family down, but at least I graduated high school. I can't live my life for everyone else right? Do you think they will get over it? UGHHH This is hard.


Also why would I subject myself to being thosands of dollars in debt for schooling that I have no heart in.

Just some needing some advice, or support.

- ashley:sos:

I think their fear is more based on you becoming a statistic, than you not obtaining some kind of degree. People tend to be creatures of habit, they stick to what they are familiar with, while few want to move on to other things. The whole thing about education is that it basically gives you a magic piece of paper that makes job hunting easier, and thus a more conventional and less risky life is technically more likely. Since your interest falls outside of what they find to be acceptable, they think your direction is going to basically destroy your life. They will get over it, but they will be plenty pissed.

My advice would be to start taking some self defense classes, more for their sake than yours, and also to make an effort to look like you're really trying to accomodate them. As in studying topics that aren't obviously travel-related, like learning to fix stuff around the house, doing habitat for humanity (a great way to get basic carpentry skills), who knows, making a list of schools/museums/etc you want to check out around the country. They are desperate to see something that resembles what they see as ambition for a what they feel is a better life.

This will make your leaving come a bit easier for them, but they'll still be pissed.

Hope this helps!

 

[compass]

That's why I like finn. Such a nice guy, so smart and intuitive. It's hard being an asshole like me sometimes.

 

[ashley]

I think their fear is more based on you becoming a statistic, than you not obtaining some kind of degree. People tend to be creatures of habit, they stick to what they are familiar with, while few want to move on to other things. The whole thing about education is that it basically gives you a magic piece of paper that makes job hunting easier, and thus a more conventional and less risky life is technically more likely. Since your interest falls outside of what they find to be acceptable, they think your direction is going to basically destroy your life. They will get over it, but they will be plenty pissed.

My advice would be to start taking some self defense classes, more for their sake than yours, and also to make an effort to look like you're really trying to accomodate them. As in studying topics that aren't obviously travel-related, like learning to fix stuff around the house, doing habitat for humanity (a great way to get basic carpentry skills), who knows, making a list of schools/museums/etc you want to check out around the country. They are desperate to see something that resembles what they see as ambition for a what they feel is a better life.

This will make your leaving come a bit easier for them, but they'll still be pissed.

Hope this helps!

That actually sounds a really good idea, hmmm Im going to start looking into things of that sort. Thanks!

 

[ashley]

Theres always Financial Aid and Grants if you end up getting stuck like me being a poor little homeless boi. Not sure how that works for college other than community.

If I could be in your shoes I would take the school, learn some useful things that you can put to use, skip all that useless stuff. Then leave with the knowledge that will help you be a step ahead the people who get stuck at the bottom and turn into homebums.

I honestly dont know anything about college and student loans and all that junk so I dont know if it would be possible to ditch out if you get sick of it and return later. If it is possible, try that.

As for your family, I think they just care and love you and figure college is something you need to help secure your place in this society. Or else your going to be doing a lot of peasant work. If your Gpa loved you unconditionally he would understand either of your decisions. His logic is the same as my Gpas towards my aunt, his daughter "If you love me, you'll be a Jehovahs Witness again", its just a guilt trip.

You could go to Portland State Univ. (or anywhere else there is trains) and take short trips in between school breaks. Hitch out into the Gorge and go hiking/camping.

Hopefully you figure it out. I think a lot of young people have this young-life crisis regularly(what I call it). I personally dont like not having some sort of income, I hate not being able to put my brian or muscle to work. The three days I worked installing a sprinkler system (personally I think they are stupid) I made $150 and after the hard day of work I felt soooo happy. I could buy a beer with money that wasnt handed to me. I could pay one months rent. Now I wish I could go to school and learn some sort of trade, then my resume would look better where ever I travel to.

Good Luck!

I live in Chicagoso that has a lot of trains. I was thinking about going to a community college, as of right now Im considering being an ultra sound technition, nurse, or firefighter all pretty general ideas as of now. Yeah it is a young life crisis.

 

[barnaclebones]

girl, sounds like youre in exactly the same place i was years ago... 6 years to be exact...

wish someone was there to tell me this...

I'd say... go to school.. i went to a school called College of the Atlantic in Maine... kinda expensive, but good financial aid.

The cool thing there is its beautiful, and you can go FUCKING ANYWHERE to fulfill your internship requirement. ANYWHERE. you could go WOOF for 6 months, or do human rights activism, or whatever.... and then for your senior project... GO TRAINHOPPIN! thatd fly. bet ya ten bucks..

anyway... enough ruthless advertising. go to school for a year or so... and then take a year off!

but in the end, do what's right for you... your family will get the fuck over it. mine did. and they's some strict muthafuckaz.

 

[finn]

That's why I like finn. Such a nice guy, so smart and intuitive. It's hard being an asshole like me sometimes.

Hey, first day I met you, I did threaten to kill you, remember? I swear you looked like you were taking me seriously.

 

[compass]

Shit, I think the spacebags that first night wiped that clear out. Aren't you a moderator? Shouldn't you be keeping this on track? Pffft

 

[genghis braun]

in a sense, I'm in the same boat. I dropped out and got my GED and everytime the college issue is brought up, I tell them the truth-in a few years. I know exactly what I want to go to school for, I just know that if I were to go to college right now, I'd do horribly at it cuz I don't deal well at all with structured learning environments, and I need some space from them.

in the end you have to realize that you life is your own to live out, and that ultimately, YOU are the one that has to live with the consequences of your decisions, regardless of what they are.

 

[connerR]

School isn't going anywhere. You can go in 1, 2, 3 years.
You, however, can only get older. I say travel first, experience everything that you can, then go to school.

 

[bote]

i think it is harder to go back to school once you´ve been out awhile, it is for me anyway.
Just the fact that you have a bunch of people willing to get together and try to get you to go- that´s not gonna happen down the line. And it may be annoying, but still it helps to have pressure sometimes, to do stuff that doesn´t come easy.

there´s no wrong decision, but i think having your family trying to get you to go should be considered an advantage more than a hindrance, no matter what you decide.

 

[keg]

if you go to more school i would guess its to get a good job.do you want a good job?do you even want a job?

 

[lice]

as soon as i graduated i kicked rocks 2 days after graduation. my family pulled the same EXACT shit. for me i received advice from an amazing friend who is a Vietnam vet homebum named squirell in sante fe. i had been on the road for two weeks and as i was leaving to go to rainbow gathering he told me " dude yer young travel everywhere, cuz when yer old you cant do much but die" that stuck with me

 

[ashley]

yeah, I don't want to work right now. I mean I have support from my family for college, but I don't have money for it. It'll be the same fiancial issues. I think i'll lfuck up in college, im just not ready for it right now

 

[bote]

if you go to more school i would guess its to get a good job.

technical school maybe, but worst reason to go to univeristy imo

" dude yer young travel everywhere, cuz when yer old you cant do much but die"

somebody who views their own life as more or less useless is probably not the best authority on how to live a fulfilling life. No right way to do things, but I´ll be damned if I finish my days wallowing in self-pity.

 

[lice]

technical school maybe, but worst reason to go to univeristy imo




somebody who views their own life as more or less useless is probably not the best authority on how to live a fulfilling life. No right way to do things, but I´ll be damned if I finish my days wallowing in self-pity.

true but he had cirrhosis of the liver and didnt have much time left

 

[stove]

So I might be one of the few here whom went to university without any interest in travel, and then discovered how much fun I can have being senseless and useless and just having a fuckload of fun in life. That being said, do what makes ya feel comfortable. Seriously. More later, my wifi is driving away.

 

[moe]

i don't think i can do college either.
i don't know what interest i have other than drawing weird shit.
i just realized i can't write. im making a run for it before i reach the front door.
i hate how the family says "if u don't go to college, ur gonna be miserable for the rest of your life working at mcdonalds.", but if i had to work for the rest of my life, it wouldn't be mcdonalds. it would be white castle. haha.
that's why i feel this strange urge deep inside of me to just fucking prove them wrong. but i wish it could just be out passion or some shit and not about having to prove anyone wrong? idk. blah.