i have a love for rivers that runs just as deep as a river itself, so when i die, i want my body to be dumped into a handmade canoe and sent down river, but i was my body to be really pale when they do this, dressed in a (stolen) tuxedo, holding some sort of white and purple flowers. i have also asked that they put my banjo in the boat with me. this would have been a lot cooler 600 years ago, so nobody would ever find my body and i would turn into food for the fish or coyotes or something, now i will probably just be found by some kindly fisherman, stone skipping kid, or river clean up crew.
if i were buried, it would have to be on a private plot of land, a friend of mine has a place in new england, my tombstone would read "here lies the biggest asshole who ever lived. he was a fucking dick and you should be glad he's dead" with some bullshit date and name.