I've actually thought long and hard about this, and I have a very specific set of instructions on what to do with my carcass:
First, I want my organs removed and with the exception of my heart, donated or composted if they're not viable. I want my heart placed in a sealed jar of honey with three gold coins, and buried in Poland.
Then I want my skull and all of my bones removed and replaced with Yew and Oak rods, with a sphere comprised of the two in place of my skull.
I want my skull opened up, brain removed and donated to science or composted, then cleaned. Then, I want the following items placed in my empty skull cavity: One of my writings, hand written on parchment and tied with a red silk ribbon, a glass vial filled with a 25/25/25/25 mixture of vodka, gasoline, ink and my own blood, a bolt from a 1969 GTO, one gold coin, one silver coin, a marijuana bud, a mushroom cap, a bass E string, a condom, a .45 ACP cartridge(inert) and a razorblade. Then I want my skull closed up and filled, through any available holes, with 2 part epoxy, my name, birth date, date of death, and cause of death engraved on my forehead. Coat my skull in lacquer, and fill the engravings with silver. My skull is then to be considered a family heirloom, passed down from generation to generation.
I want my femurs turned into knife handles, given to my family and friends as heirlooms.
The rest of my bones, strip whatever marrow that can be stripped and donate it. Then dry and grind my bones into dust.
I would like my scrotum removed, tanned, and turned into a purse, with the phrase "Nuts To You!" branded on the front. Two walnuts are to then be placed inside and it is to be mailed to a random address, with instructions to re-mail it to a random address and so on and so forth.
I then want the rest of my body lightly pickled in grain alcohol, dressed in a kilt and a Ramones T-shirt and presented for an "Irish wake" (they plop yer dead ass down on the bar and everybody starts drinking 'till they see ya move again) Put me back on ice until everybody recovers, then plop my body in the back of a '59 Caddy hearse(sitting up with a beer in one hand, a cig in the other and sunglasses on my face) for a NOLA style jazz funeral procession.
In a forest clearing, I want a large funeral pyre built, wrap me up in a sheet, and throw me on top. Pass around a good bottle Polish vodka, then pour the rest over my body and light me up. Then gather up all of the ashes, mix them with the bone dust.
I want a small portion of this mixture loaded into rifle cartridges and taken on a hunt. Another portion mixed in with a joint and passed around. Divide the rest into quarters. One quarter is to be scattered over the sea, one quarter to be buried in Poland, and one quarter to be scattered in the wind from a mountain top. The rest is to be mixed with red wine, placed in little glass vials and turned into heirloom necklaces.
My plans cover all the bases. I want my death to help people, thus the organ and tissue donation. I want to make people laugh and possibly gross them out, much as I did in life, thus the scrotum-purse chain letter. It covers my spiritual leanings with the jar of honey, cremation, and the bone handled knives. My wake serves as a celebration to comfort and uplift those I left behind. The items in my skull serve to sum up what resided in my head in life. The skull treatment itself as well as the necklaces serves as my little mark on the world, as well as a reminder that I'm not truly gone. Plus I kind of like the idea of leaving relics behind. Maybe one day people will fight over the remaining pieces of my carcass
