Weirdest object you ever fucked?

[SophiaII]

Knife. Sounds weird, not actually that weird. Just don't use the sharp end.

 

[tacology]

Knife. Sounds weird, not actually that weird. Just don't use the sharp end.

When I first read this I imagined the sharp part and a lot of blood. ::dead::

 

[Cosmic Rob]

@Kim Chee This whole topic is SO provocative.

The weirdest thing i've fucked is my hand.. i'm totally lacking in creativity. lol

 

[bluewaffle]

@Kim Chee This whole topic is SO provocative.

The weirdest thing i've fucked is my hand.. i'm totally lacking in creativity. lol

Now you can say you're fucking the system.

AMAB?

 

[Cosmic Rob]

I'm confused, and trying to stay on topic... do you mean "All mods are bastards" or "assigned male at birth"? Google says it could mean either of these things. O .o

I've thought about getting a pocket pussy, but it seems like a waste of money to me... and what if the mail man sees what i ordered?? he'll totally know what i'm up to!

 

[WieselFlink]

I'm confused, and trying to stay on topic... do you mean "All mods are bastards" or "assigned male at birth"? Google says it could mean either of these things. O .o

I've thought about getting a pocket pussy, but it seems like a waste of money to me... and what if the mail man sees what i ordered?? he'll totally know what i'm up to!

Who cares what the mailman thinks.

If he gives you the evil i just wave at him and wink sugestively.

Sent from my D5503 using the Squat the Planet mobile app!

 

[ChezaRose]

If there is a market for dirty kid cum I want to be the bottler/distributor.

...and for all of you who think I'm a capitalist pig don't worry, we'll run it in co-op fashion

If there isn't one there should be. There is dirty kid porn so I think it might be possible.

 

[TravellerNick]

Wow! This is a refreshing post.
I've done a beer bottle up my arse before, it's good but the suction it creates fills it up with shit which is pretty gross but could have its uses.

 

[Durian]

A latex glove with lube used to do it it but now my john is too big for it . it just breaks thru. back to the hand nor now ::drinkingbuddy::

 

[tennesseejed]

A latex glove with lube used to do it it but now my john is too big for it . it just breaks thru. back to the hand nor now ::drinkingbuddy::

In the county jail we called That a sally

 

[tacopirate]

Hahaha. I forget what they called it in MDOC, but they would warm them up first to simulate a vagina. Good times.

 

[xpolx]

err .....screw driver handle wholenew meaning to the phrase tooled up

 

[PriusFuck]

Dulce Jesus

 

[duderino]

I'm not proud of it, but I fucked a blow up doll once. My "friends" got it for me as a "joke" on my 20th birthday because I was still a virgin. I fucked it once and threw it in the corner without cleaning it out. I lived in a shed at the time, and one day I looked over and there were ants crawling out of the fake vagina, so I threw it away. Seeing the ants was pretty brutal.

 

[AlwaysLost]

I tried fucking this melon back when i was an early teenager. Made a hole and everything. Wasnt that great. My dick just got sticky and that was about it. No orgasm

lmao Timm...Ive heard you have to microwave them first..HEARD, yeah.

 

[Popsicle]

My road dog stuck a bic pen up my ass . She wanted to write a fuck you letter to her mom. Funny thing next day we were camped with some rainbows and I covered it in chocolate and handed it to dude and told story . He about came on himself with wtf all over his face

 

[lyzinga]

So no joke... a hand drill!
Annd...a Vitamix Blender tool
annnd...a couple of my bedposts
and yeah the proactive bottle, wasn't all that
Ice cubes, lots, on a hot day. They kinda insantly melt though...so it ends up being important to be in the right place/sit the right way when they've all melted down. unclench..SWIRT. yeah. anyway...

 

[Maestro]

Hahaha. I forget what they called it in MDOC, but they would warm them up first to simulate a vagina. Good times.

A feefee? Thats what we called em here in the bucket. Someone was known for putting banana peels between his mattress getting on his knees n fucking it. No one went in that guys cell.

 

[scuzi]

Why do they always make weed pipes so phallic? A terrible mistake could be had if someone pirated the wrong one from my bedroom...

 

[Chillhowee90]

I'm going to be "that guy" and say that this all depends on your definition of weird.


But my gut says to answer... Anything willing ---> if I'm sleepless and spun!!!


I KNOW NOW THAT I'm not alone ;p