Weirdest object you ever fucked?

[wrkrsunite]

Myself.

 

[jaws]

Myself.

Explain

 

[wrkrsunite]

I've fucked myself and I tend to be one weird motherfucker.

 

[jaws]

I've fucked myself and I tend to be one weird motherfucker.

Was climax achieved? I've stretched my boner backwards into my ass before, was hard to enjoy so I stopped after multiple attempts.

 

[wrkrsunite]

Ouch, I usually just make a fist around my cock and use a back and forth motion until completion. But hey to each his own.

 

[doctressjulia]

https://youareasplendidbutterfly.com/2013/06/01/men-will-stick-their-dicks-in-anything/

 

[WieselFlink]

I fucked a clamp lamp with a thin stalk, wrapped in handkerchiefs, wrapped in a condom

 

[jaws]

I fucked a clamp lamp with a thin stalk, wrapped in handkerchiefs, wrapped in a condom

Inventive, I know those moments when "there has to be a dick shaped object atleast somewhere around here".

Oh and this just in, I fucked a hole in the wall at a pool underwater.

 

[zipty6425]

I knew I couldn't be the only one that's ever tried this at home. LOL

 

[QueerCoyote]

Hair brush with a condom. It had this gel handle and ridges under that. Can't believe that huge marketing audience they missed out on when they made it a hairbrush.

 

[tennesseejed]

Myself.

Likewise

 

[wrkrsunite]

I love that someone above rated my post explaining the most common dick jacking technique as useful, did this method simply not occur to them before as they went through life drilling holes and fucking various melons, or maybe the vacuum cleaner hose. Or maybe they placed their palms on their junk and hit it Indian burn style. Oh well, glad to help either way.
BTW I just knew the first time I jacked off that I was gonna love pussy.

 

[tennesseejed]

I love that someone above rated my post explaining the most common dick jacking technique as useful, did this method simply not occur to them before as they went through life drilling holes and fucking various melons, or maybe the vacuum cleaner hose. Or maybe they placed their palms on their junk and hit it Indian burn style. Oh well, glad to help either way.
BTW I just knew the first time I jacked off that I was gonna love pussy.

The first time I jerked off I burst out laughing after I came. ::hilarious::

I thought the splooge was hilarious. for some reason.

 

[wrkrsunite]

My first time I literally remember thinking, well this is prolly gonna occupy a lot of my time in the future. Haha occupy, my penis is the 1%.

 

[Kim Chee]

If there is a market for dirty kid cum I want to be the bottler/distributor.

...and for all of you who think I'm a capitalist pig don't worry, we'll run it in co-op fashion

 

[AlwaysLost]

My ex girlfriend had this Disney Mulan Dragon Doll and for sum sick twisted (its a kids toy) reason it had a plush anus stitched into it. But it didn't feel good so I ended up stopping and waiting for her to come home. I was 18 at the time so don't judge me!

 

[AlwaysLost]

heh - waiting for someone to respond with happening to go into wal-mart and enjoying a stuffed animal ... ::angelic::

But in the meantime I'ma ...

View attachment 25389

Uh oh please don't read my post

 

[ChezaRose]

I do camming and porn, or well I did anyway, well porn I still do for fun and the former I just haven't done in a while.

Okay, so because camming.

During one of (or few) of my sessions I had a big foam baseball bat and also a light saber.

So, dancing, on my knees, with the bat in my mouth and the light saber in my butt, both propped in a way where I was hands free.

I am not sure if that is my strangest, but it probably could have killed me if I had messed up at any point. So that's what I am swinging with.

 

[AlwaysLost]

I do camming and porn, or well I did anyway, well porn I still do for fun and the former I just haven't done in a while.

Okay, so because camming.

During one of (or few) of my sessions I had a big foam baseball bat and also a light saber.

So, dancing, on my knees, with the bat in my mouth and the light saber in my butt, both propped in a way where I was hands free.

I am not sure if that is my strangest, but it probably could have killed me if I had messed up at any point. So that's what I am swinging with.

A lightsaber? I think you just became my personal hero. That's taking it in the dark side!

 

[ChezaRose]

A lightsaber? I think you just became my personal hero. That's taking it in the dark side!

I broke myself many years ago doing weird shit and now I can not even masturbate "normally"

The dark side chose me.