Since were getting all personal talkin bout bloody vagona and ramming a dildo up a mans ass...lets talk about masturbation lol. Whats the weirdest object you ever fucked?
when i was younger a friend from school told me that wtuffing a warm hand towel inside the mouth of a wide mouth gatorade bottle is what a vagina felt like...years later im very glad he wasnt right because god damn do i love what a actual vagina feels like.
also i used to jerk off with handsoap and if you can immagine i wasnt very fond of showering even younger, so after about 3 weeks of bathroom jacking i developed a caked on layer of hand soap and cum that made my dick look like it had scales and was very painful to peel/wash off. lesson learned.
thankfully my life partner is the manager of a number of local sex stores in the area, so i dont have to worry about finding weird stuff to fuck anymore...