Featured Stupid things the cops have said to you?

[wrkrsunite]

I had a cop pull up next me n my road dog in east LA and ask if we had seen a mexican guy with a shaved Head and a mustache.

 

[Anagor]

''We still believe you're on something, it's just not enough to be illegal in the state of Tennessee.''

=> "I'm sorry. Next time I'll try to do something more illegal. Have a nice day."

''Are you homeless?''

=> "How came that to your mind?"
=>"No I have multiple homes. Just can't decide where to stay so I'm here"
=> "No, I'm houseless, not homeless, cause the world is my home." [1]


[1] I like that saying, really. It's one of my favourite quotes I read here.

 

[Anagor]

I had a cop pull up next me n my road dog in east LA and ask if we had seen a mexican guy with a shaved Head and a mustache.

=> "A mexican guy with a mustache? Strange. Never saw that before."

 

[kidbob]

So i was with my rookie roaddawg rlf ...and when we hopped out from decatur to montgomery we had an interesting set of events unfold...
We landed in the gump and went downtown.we followed some tags(enigma???) on signs like clues to a treasure and ended up at the library.but along the way we encountered probably 10? fire extingusier locations in which no extinguisher was located.after night came and we headed to the hop out and it was late at night we had a cop pull us over light us up and ask for ids..no probob...after runnin us i ask why we got lighted and what do u know....
They lookin for 2 white males with back packs who been robbin ppl and stealin stuff...
What do u know hes got 2 white males with full on travel gear dressed dark late at night clearly we are up to no good...
I start preachin about jesus and how im just carryin my cross and he lets us go...
We continue on to mobile alabam
We get to dt and i havnt been there in 10 yrs...so whoah!!! im walkin round and dont remember the library bein that fuckin far from the bridge and we stopped broad daylight....ask for ids...same scenario
Lookin for two white dudes with backpacks
Here we go again
Jesus and his cross
We get let go.
We get to p-cola
Same thing
Get past sarasota and shit got real
These two dudes whom apperantly we are just days behind beat the hell out of some poor bastard with a fire extinguisher.were detained at this point.finger printed and questioned
They didnt wanna hear about jesus and his cross.they wanted to hear about a fire extinguisher.
I dont know how we got out...
I just maintained my innocense and spoke the truth and after several hours of me re itterating my hitchhiked route they let us walk with a very clear message to get the fuck gone.theres alot to this story im leaving out.like finding misspelled signs at highway ramps
The tag enigma still wet on a grainer
A fucked up grungy womans torso sex toy(may or may not have been relevent)
It was just weird
Me and my road dog where like days behind some random travelers who where up to no good...for an entire 3 mnths.

 

[Coywolf]

hitching with a friend (white) out of indio/coachella. a cop pulls over, asks for ids blah blah blah. first he says "you know hitchhiking is illegal in california." not true, plus we're on the sidewalk. he kinda glares at us and then proceeds to say the dumbest thing anyone's said to me on the road, cop or otherwise: "you and your boy need to split up. the mexicans will kill a brotha and a white boy if they see you two together. stick to your race around here." we got a ride a few hours later. from a mexican.

Holy shit, what an idiot.

 

[Harmonica Bruce]

Panhandling some pc kids called me in cause I was making money and there dumb.. Mad cause I can make enough to shoot dope buy my girl food and get shit housed whose dumb kids or the cops?????

So hey dude, are you still alive? Haven't heard from you for 3 years or so.

 

[Coywolf]

I got stopped in Bend the other day while walking down a dark street. The cop got out of the car and said, "Are those Carhart bibs you are wearing?" (I was wearing tan slacks and a flannel shirt) "Because I would be wondering what someone would be doing walking down an alley wearing Carharts in the middle of the night" to which I replied, "I didnt know this was an alley" she said, "Oh, I guess it isint an alley, and I see you are not wearing Carharts" and she ran my name. I guess it is now illegal to wear Carharts at night. Watch out guys.....

 

[Odin]

I got stopped in Bend the other day while walking down a dark street. The cop got out of the car and said, "Are those Carhart bibs you are wearing?" (I was wearing tan slacks and a flannel shirt) "Because I would be wondering what someone would be doing walking down an alley wearing Carharts in the middle of the night" to which I replied, "I didnt know this was an alley" she said, "Oh, I guess it isint an alley, and I see you are not wearing Carharts" and she ran my name. I guess it is now illegal to wear Carharts at night. Watch out guys.....

Sounds like the art of making BS up just to run an ID.
Wow...wanted to rate that stupid but don't want to give ya the negative rating it's just the story.

 

[Coywolf]

Well this is not a stupid thing "said" but stilll... found this in one multiflat building we were squatting.

Drop in surgeries?! Holy shit! Next thing i know im going to missing a kidney at the Soup Kitchen! "Your safer neighborhoods have also donated 13 random body parts to the needy children of politicians....."

 

[Zaphod]

so, no shit, there I was:

I've been staying with my Dad in this shithole town (Alliance, OH) and working a shit job to pay off some fines for driving under suspension (which is a whole 'nother can of bullshit). Anyway, point is I ride my bike everywhere. So, I'm headed down to the grocery store to get dinner and I'm crossing the major street through town. I'm sitting in my lane waiting for the oncoming traffic to ease off so I can turn left and this pig pulls up and starts screaming at me to stop. I tell him okay, I make my left turn and he's still screaming at me to stop. I sit my happy ass down in the grass on the side of the road and he gets out and says, "when I tell you to stop, YOU STOP!" He runs my ID and we go through the usual hassles when he turns his attention to my vest. He starts giving me shit about anarchism and being rebellious when he leans in to look at the pin on my collar: "Fuck war, Love Anti-Flag." The following exchange happens: "you LOVE the Anti-Flag?! Don't you know that in other countries the police could beat you or kill you for wearing something like that!?" I responded, "They could beat or kill me here for it!" "Yeah, but you haven't been beat for it, have you?" "Well, it probably helps that I'm white."

dude lost his shit! He got this look on his face like, "man, I really want to beat your ass now, but I feel like I can't after trying to make a point about how you live in 'murica land of the free."

it was priceless, I think I may have actually died had he said, "Anti-Flag, that doesn't mean anti the AMERICAN flag, does it!?"

 

[Chuck the Duck]

So not exactly an asshole cop story, but what he said was funny kinda. My first day on the road we are in philly. Sleep in this park, only to wake up to a cop telling us "out of your sheets and on your feets". He proceeds to tell us that his mother used to tell him that to get him out of bed, to which I could only think "no wonder you grew up to be a dorky police officer..."

 

[Odin]

The stupidest thing cops ever said to me...
That entire D.A.R.E. program the ass-hats pushed in Grade School. LOL...

 

[Cozmcrae]

I was walking along a street with some friends outside Glasgow and this minibus full of policemen pull over and shout "STOP RIGHT NOW! WHATS THAT SHOE DOING IN THAT BUSH?" One of my friends leaned into the bush and picked up the shoe then the policeman screams "DON'T TOUCH IT! THROW IT BACK IN THE BUSH!" We all have no idea what the fuck is going on and then there is an uproar of laughter in the van before the poiceman say "Its alright" then just drove away.

Another time I was driving around a carpark with a friend in a shopping trolley tied to the back of my car with a tow rope whilst another friend hung out the back of the car videoing and the police showed up and blocked the car in. They were pretty pissed off and took me into their car. The male officer went out to speak with my friends whilst I stayed in the car chatting to the female officer who was actually having a great time speaking with me before the guy got back in and said "Right mate, your getting charged". He them looked at me and said "Only joking", then let me go. Guy was pretty sound about it and he didn't even make us take the trolley back.

 

[Anagor]

[Background] Camden High Street (Camden Market, London) a massive punk/goth/alternative clothing, piercings etc shop/market/venue borough

Off topic: Camden is very cool, slept two times at High Street (in front of a bakery and Marks&Spencer).

 

[face]

I moved to Asheville, NC. 5 minutes after getting on my skateboard for the first time, a cop stops me.

Pig: "Is there a motor vehicle in that thing?"
Me: "What?"
Pig: "I said. Is that a motor vehicle?"
Me: "No.."
Pig: "Then you can't ride it on the road. Don't be stupid. Use your head!"
Me: "What about bikes?"
Pig: "Those have two wheels. How many wheels does that have?"
Me: "Uhh.. I'm totally confused by this conversation. It has four wheels."
Pig: "Exactly. But no motor vehicle in it."
Me: "Okay... bye..."

 

[urchin]

Sorry for being off topic but just a question from a german guy ...
Here in Germany all adults are required to have an ID card (Personalausweis). But you are not required to have it with you. You only have to have one (maybe at home). If Police really wants to know who you are (for some reason) and you have no ID card with you then they will take you in to figure out your name and so on. So far so good.
But when it comes to the US wikipedia says: "There is no true national identity card in the United States of America, in the sense that there is no federal agency with nationwide jurisdiction that directly issues such cards to all American citizens for mandatory regular use."
And further: "Because it is so prevalent, the de facto official identification card for adults is the driver's license, which must be carried at all times when operating a vehicle in most states, and in most states must be presented to law enforcement officers upon request while one is driving a motor vehicle."
Okay, so far so good.
But when you don't drive a motor vehicle? I read allways here ... "ran my id" or alike ... what if you don't have an ID card with you?
Sorry if that sounds silly, I'm just courious ...

I can answer that.

I only have my passport as ID. Depending the area and state I have had reactions from nothing unusual to "what is this?/do you have any other ID?"

Once in Tennessee a pig asked me, when he ran my passport, why nothing was coming up. I told him he should know as it's his computer. He was already mad at me and that made it worse. He ended up letting me go though since he had nothing.

 

[codycodnyk]

Me and my friend of the darker persuasion were walking down this road late at night and a cop car kept creeping up to us. I normally walk this road at all hours of the night and plenty of cops pass me without even slowing down. But we get stopped and asked for our ids, we didn't have them. The cop says, well I just pulled you guys over because its a little suspicious for you to be walking out this late at night without ids. I wanted to make sure you guys would be alright, this is the time when people get robbed. He ended up letting us go shortly and didn't bother me about my beer, so not bad.
the same cop pulled me and two other black guys over one night for no apparent reason. He accused us of selling drugs out of our job because a very reliable source told him so. He got real mad when I asked if we were being detained, which another cop said yeah, and said he'd arrest me if he found even a crumb of weed on me. The guy looks in my cigarette pack, where I had a bunch of roach clips and hands it back to me and apparently doesn't notice.

 

[feralxfeline]

Arizona-i think kingman?

We made the mistake of driving past the police station on route 66 with WA plates and got pulled over by some undercover in this big ass SUV. This dude says we merged lanes too quickly or some bs. After questioning us for a bit he calls for backup

Two more SUVs roll up with drug dogs and make a whole thing out of it.
They asked if we consented to a search
"No we don't want our stuff searched"
They scoff, search it anyways.
Searching our trunk they find packets of microwave Indian food and make some racist remark about the smell. Then they search the crate of books and that's when shit got real. A bunch of anarchist books/zines including "queer ultraviolence" then they start reading it aloud to eachother, horrified.
The old dude cop asks:
"Do you know what this book is about?"
"Uh...no"
"This book is about a bunch of gays & lesboz, going around in packs, and being terrorists!!"
He's not far off tbh

Then one of them leans in real close to us and says
"Hey, you can tell me. Are you guys anarchists?"
"Uh...no"
Yes officer, we anarchists and we are here to do the anarchy
Somehow we got off without anything but a ticket (merging lanes to fast bs)
But they fucking broke my uke just to add insult to injury
Fucking assholes!

 

[CrashTestNDozer]

I was in NC and got a ride from a few dudes in a 4 door pick-up. The truck was pretty full so I sat in the middle in the back. Cops pull them over (I guess the kid driving was 19 so he was their DD from the bar) and the FIRST words out of his mouth after shining the flashlight around was "Oh boy, what are y'all fixing to do to her?" followed up with "I smell alcohol"
Needless to say, my smart mouth got me pulled out of the truck, cause screw you asshole, and handcuffed on the side of the road till they finished the ID checks and sobriety test for the DD. Lucky for me, the guys said they knew me and the cops let me go with them, but I REALLY Wanted to kick that cops teeth in...

 

[BadKidNick]

My favorite is when they ask, "Nick why you look so nervous?" I always reply instantly," well sir you have a gun and I don't. Am I free to leave?"