hitchhiking and female safety

[Raging Bird]

Changed thread title. We're getting off topic here and any "gender war" thread is probably going to be long, dramatic, and pointless. I think maybe we should either talk about female safety or just leave it alone. Girls, don't condemn the male sex as a whole for the safety issues that you face; Boys, don't feel threatened when girls talk about the very real dangers they have to deal with, it's a reality whether it's fair or not. Everyone watch out for yourself and those around you, end of story.

 

[Driftwhistler]

Well said. I'd say men have it just as bad though, if not worse. Statistically, men are more likely than women to be victims of violence (albeit from other men), except because we're men we're not allowed to talk about it or complain because then we're "pussies" for showing emotion. Also the gender stereotypes you mentioned about how men are traditionally meant to approach and women are meant to get approached don't just suck for women. If a woman does the approaching, she gets labelled a slut. While some women want to do the approaching, there are also some guys who want to get approached/don't feel comfortable doing the approaching, and these guys will spend their entire lives lonely (unless they are ridiculously good looking or live in a sexually free society). I don't really care about the issue of the title of this thread but to be honest it is sexist.

Yeah, but womyn are more likely to be victims of sexual violence. I'm not denying that violence towards men exists. Also I'm aware that those gender stereotypes and bullshit sex roles suck for everyone.

Wussy, not pussy. If someone's calling you a pussy for being reclusive, then they're just dumb. Vaginas can take pain like a boss. One pinch of a ballsack and Mr. Guy's on the ground. I'm not trying to be a pc cat, but I'm big into reclaiming words that are meant to degrade and insult people.

btw what i meant in the previous comment was that a lot of my more radical lady friends tell me its extremely offensive for them to get hit on in bars or what have you. What i mean by we never get told what we are allowed to do is, if we can't hit on them, then how does one get to court such ladies? Or is it only good-looking men are allowed to hit on them?

Uh...no. That's not how it works. Don't think like dat.

You get to court them if they allow you that privilege and vice versa. I can't speak for everyone, but getting hit on in a bar feels like the dude is just trying to get sex. You can do whatever the fuck you wants, but keep that male privilege in check, k?

 

[Kim Chee]

One pinch of a ballsack and Mr. Guy's on the ground.

Yeah, that may be true. But, the contents of my scrotum are what I consider to be "guts" and they happen to be on the outside of my body, unlike the guts of the opposite sex. If you touch my "ballsack" in a non-loving way I will likely retaliate in an appropriate manner despite the pain. In terms of sexual agressiveness, testosterone does separate us and oftentimes women are the victims of violence perpetuated by men. Use your head ladies: Understand what is the trigger for these crimes and avoid displaying that what triggers. Yes, I'll agree that sometimes being a woman is enough of a trigger. Other times, your long hair waving in the wind, lipstick, titties bouncing, and hips shaking is enough for some men to victimize you. Sorry that is the way it is, but that is the way it is. It isn't my way, 'cuz I don't give a shit how you look.

 

[ped]

Take a breath Driftwhistler........lol

 

[RockerBilly]

Yeah, but womyn are more likely to be victims of sexual violence. I'm not denying that violence towards men exists. Also I'm aware that those gender stereotypes and bullshit sex roles suck for everyone.

Wussy, not pussy. If someone's calling you a pussy for being reclusive, then they're just dumb. Vaginas can take pain like a boss. One pinch of a ballsack and Mr. Guy's on the ground. I'm not trying to be a pc cat, but I'm big into reclaiming words that are meant to degrade and insult people.



Uh...no. That's not how it works. Don't think like dat.

You get to court them if they allow you that privilege and vice versa. I can't speak for everyone, but getting hit on in a bar feels like the dude is just trying to get sex. You can do whatever the fuck you wants, but keep that male privilege in check, k?

Yes, women are more likely to be victims of sexual violence, but I don't understand why you'd think that sexual violence is worse than non-sexual violence? In my opinion if you hurt someone without their consent, it crosses the line regardless of if its sexual or not.

Sorry i dont really get the reclaiming words thing you were talking about. People get called pussies for being scared because pussy is the name for a cat (i.e. "fraidy cat").

Getting hit on in a bar makes it seem like the guys just wants sex? Well yeah, so, whats wrong with sex? Sometimes "just sex" is exactly what the girl wants too, how else would a guy know unless he asks her?

 

[RockerBilly]

"keep the male privilege in check" i dont really have the first clue what you mean by that. I have an idea but its a pretty broad concept

 

[Driftwhistler]

Yes, women are more likely to be victims of sexual violence, but I don't understand why you'd think that sexual violence is worse than non-sexual violence? In my opinion if you hurt someone without their consent, it crosses the line regardless of if its sexual or not.

Sorry i dont really get the reclaiming words thing you were talking about. People get called pussies for being scared because pussy is the name for a cat (i.e. "fraidy cat").

Getting hit on in a bar makes it seem like the guys just wants sex? Well yeah, so, whats wrong with sex? Sometimes "just sex" is exactly what the girl wants too, how else would a guy know unless he asks her?

I dunno, have you ever been a victim of sexual violence? It's way fuckin worse than getting beat up. You're reduced to a fuckable object, a fuckin scratch and sniff sticker, an animal, an inanimate doll, plastic packaging that's thrown after one use. When you get hit or beat up it's totally different.

I dunno man, cats are purdy fearless..

There's absolutely nothing wrong with sex. I love sex. I just don't dig being approached by a total stranger for it, especially if I'm minding my own bizniz. I exist beyond my body. I know that some peeps don't mind that, but I do. People have to understand that not everyone wants to be hit up for sex by a stranger, so just be more careful about who you approach.This is all coming from personal experience and how I personally react to shit. I'm not speaking for everyone.

 

[Driftwhistler]

Yeah, that may be true. But, the contents of my scrotum are what I consider to be "guts" and they happen to be on the outside of my body, unlike the guts of the opposite sex. If you touch my "ballsack" in a non-loving way I will likely retaliate in an appropriate manner despite the pain. In terms of sexual agressiveness, testosterone does separate us and oftentimes women are the victims of violence perpetuated by men. Use your head ladies: Understand what is the trigger for these crimes and avoid displaying that what triggers. Yes, I'll agree that sometimes being a woman is enough of a trigger. Other times, your long hair waving in the wind, lipstick, titties bouncing, and hips shaking is enough for some men to victimize you. Sorry that is the way it is, but that is the way it is. It isn't my way, 'cuz I don't give a shit how you look.

Weeeeeeelcome to rape culture, where womyn are at fault for the sexual violence acted on them by men who can't control themselves. If some little piggy can't control his sex drive, then that's his fault, never someone else's. Minimal/zero clothing does not equal consent. That's like when the cops beat the shit out of you and then slam you with a felony for resisting arrest or assaulting an officer. Just plain fucking ignorant, selfish and stupid. *facepalm*

"keep the male privilege in check" i dont really have the first clue what you mean by that. I have an idea but its a pretty broad concept

Sigh..

 

[Kim Chee]

Weeeeeeelcome to rape culture, where womyn are at fault for the sexual violence acted on them by men who can't control themselves. If some little piggy can't control his sex drive, then that's his fault, never someone else's. Minimal/zero clothing does not equal consent. That's like when the cops beat the shit out of you and then slam you with a felony for resisting arrest or assaulting an officer. Just plain fucking ignorant, selfish and stupid. *facepalm*

I guess we can just disagree. I never said a man has the right to victimize a woman or alluded to anything about consent. Go against my advice, Ms. Driftwhistler. Get out on the road and tempt fate and sooner or later the trouble that is unwarranted/unwanted will come your way. The smart ladies can go back, read my post, take it to heart and use it to SURVIVE on the streets.

 

[Rager]

favorite response for why im doing this "traveling which is always 1st in questions, besides how old i am and single".....well i was recently diagnosed with hiv about 2 weeks ago, as you could imagine i dont really have a fear of death now....i figured live life to the fullest....it usually works and the situtaion stays contained. Fuck hitching i've learned...im roaming up n down blue ridge ap trail currently...1st time i've hitched in years..going well so far

 

[RockerBilly]

I dunno, have you ever been a victim of sexual violence? It's way fuckin worse than getting beat up. You're reduced to a fuckable object, a fuckin scratch and sniff sticker, an animal, an inanimate doll, plastic packaging that's thrown after one use. When you get hit or beat up it's totally different.

I dunno man, cats are purdy fearless..

There's absolutely nothing wrong with sex. I love sex. I just don't dig being approached by a total stranger for it, especially if I'm minding my own bizniz. I exist beyond my body. I know that some peeps don't mind that, but I do. People have to understand that not everyone wants to be hit up for sex by a stranger, so just be more careful about who you approach.This is all coming from personal experience and how I personally react to shit. I'm not speaking for everyone.

No I haven't been a victim of "sexual violence".... but I have nearly been stabbed more times than I can count, and on 2 occasions would have been the victim of straight up pre-meditated murder but weaseled my way out at the last second. I just don't really see how it's any worse for someone to be worried about getting raped while walking home at night, than it is for a someone else (usually an older man, or a younger boy) to get stabbed and murdered by a racist gang, completely unprovoked (other than having the "wrong" skin colour, or being on someone's "turf"). Sure they're both fucking abhorrent, but I don't see how one is worse than the other.

Cats are fearless? what the hell are you talking about? If you close a door to loudly cats will run, they are the most flinching animals ever, hence the term "fraidy cat".

 

[RockerBilly]

Sigh..

Ok well obviously I understand what male privilege is but I don't understand what you meant by "keep it in check", like, how so?

Just for the record your constant putdowns of "facepalm" and "sigh" are quite unnecessary when people have asked you questions in order to obtain your some of your vast wisdom on the subject and you just throw it back in their face. You could just be friendly about it instead of getting all holier-than-thou, it suggests you care more about proving your own self-importance than educating your brothers and sisters on these issues and moving forward together as a society, or do you just enjoy having lots of things to complain about?

 

[Driftwhistler]

I guess we can just disagree. I never said a man has the right to victimize a woman or alluded to anything about consent. Go against my advice, Ms. Driftwhistler. Get out on the road and tempt fate and sooner or later the trouble that is unwarranted/unwanted will come your way. The smart ladies can go back, read my post, take it to heart and use it to SURVIVE on the streets.

Sorry dude, but your advice is tainted with internalized sexism. I do what I want, I wear what I want, I go where I want. My sex doesn't and shouldn't deter me from doing anything I'm physically capable of. If some fuck attacks me, I can defend myself. I don't live my life in fear of sexual violence and I won't conduct my life to avoid it. I guess I'm not "smart" because of that, but maybe you're just dumb for thinking otherwise.

 

[Driftwhistler]

No I haven't been a victim of "sexual violence".... but I have nearly been stabbed more times than I can count, and on 2 occasions would have been the victim of straight up pre-meditated murder but weaseled my way out at the last second. I just don't really see how it's any worse for someone to be worried about getting raped while walking home at night, than it is for a someone else (usually an older man, or a younger boy) to get stabbed and murdered by a racist gang, completely unprovoked (other than having the "wrong" skin colour, or being on someone's "turf"). Sure they're both fucking abhorrent, but I don't see how one is worse than the other.

Cats are fearless? what the hell are you talking about? If you close a door to loudly cats will run, they are the most flinching animals ever, hence the term "fraidy cat".

And that's your opinion. Don't forget, rape is always unprovoked.

I'm not going to argue about cats with you...

Ok well obviously I understand what male privilege is but I don't understand what you meant by "keep it in check", like, how so?


Just for the record your constant putdowns of "facepalm" and "sigh" are quite unnecessary when people have asked you questions in order to obtain your some of your vast wisdom on the subject and you just throw it back in their face. You could just be friendly about it instead of getting all holier-than-thou, it suggests you care more about proving your own self-importance than educating your brothers and sisters on these issues and moving forward together as a society, or do you just enjoy having lots of things to complain about?

For real easy starters (and I'm not saying you do any of this shit): Don't get involved with street harassment, don't make rape "jokes", don't make assumptions based on gender, don't make "jokes" based on or putting down a certain gender or sexual orientation, don't get all homophobic on queers. Call other people out when they do any or all of that. All of this "simple" stuff effects both me as a womon and you as a man and everyone else on this planet. if we really want to bring humonity to the next level, we have to erase the internalized sexism in our culture first, or the world will never be anywhere close to fair for anyone. MP hurts you and me. So, just like we should both keep our white privilege in check, you have the added burden of keeping your MP in check.

Oh tish tosh, you've never seen me pissed. Consider this a walk in the park on a sunny Sunday afternoon in late spring (let me make a quick point and say that an example of internalized sexism is that I almost wrote "even though I'm menstruating" because for some dipshit reason, society thinks that every womon's menstrual cycle is always a viable excuse for unchecked rage, which, of course, is a total crock of bull. Another example of that is the amount of times I've heard people, even womyn, say sad shit like "I'd vote for Hilary Clinton, but I just don't think womyn should be in office because what if they start a war with Russia because they were on their period?"). Vast wisdom? Well I was homeschooled... I've argued about this crap more times than I can count. Being friendly usually invites the bullshit I try to avoid. I'm sorry if someone's feels got offended.

The most common MP checklist can be found here:
http://www.amptoons.com/blog/the-male-privilege-checklist/

but this is the best one (not a checklist, but still a dandy article I found a while ago):
http://finallyfeminism101.wordpress.com/2007/03/11/faq-what-is-male-privilege/

 

[Doobie_D]

Sorry dude, but your advice is tainted with internalized sexism. I do what I want, I wear what I want, I go where I want. My sex doesn't and shouldn't deter me from doing anything I'm physically capable of. If some fuck attacks me, I can defend myself. I don't live my life in fear of sexual violence and I won't conduct my life to avoid it. I guess I'm not "smart" because of that, but maybe you're just dumb for thinking otherwise.

sorry.. just made me think of this...

 

[RockerBilly]

ok. i guess i don't really see it as "burden". i think if guys are sexist then they should have a burden but i dont think i should inherently have to tread on eggshells and be an overly-PC liberal swine. I dont owe anyone shit, and they don't owe me anything either. I will live my life and say what I want while trying not to be a complete dick, and if someone gets offended, they can take it up with me personally and i will apologise if I deem it necessary, or otherwise tell them to grow a pair (sorry i know you won't like that one. its a joke, remember jokes? like from when you were a child)

 

[Driftwhistler]

Hey man, it's not called being "overly PC liberal swine", it's called "not being a sexist pig". But, you know, you've gotta be one or the other I guess. You're failing at not being a complete dick, sorry broskii. Oh, plus, I've already got a pair. I keep them on my chest instead of hiding them between my legs like el coward. Liberal swine are go!

Yeah, I love jokes. Well, I like jokes that are actually funny, not hateful and reeking of ignorance.

 

[Kim Chee]

Sorry dude, but your advice is tainted with internalized sexism.

I externalize sexism with a BEARD! So between my internalized sexism that you point out and my externalized sexism I am in balance.
Sure, you can interpret my words from my posts any way you like even if it deviates from my original intended meaning.
In doing so, you continue to make an ass of yourself.

This thread has gone the way that mr. thirtydollarbillyall indicated it would.

Female safety...
Keep your breasticles covered is still good advice (it even came from a guy).
...unless you are protesting and making a demonstration of what you have the right
to do, I suppose.

Rock out with your titties out!

 

[Raging Bird]

Shouts out to everyone who said fuck it and went ahead full bore with the long dramatic and pointless argument I was talking about. Closing thread now.