After reading "If you where at wal-mart at 4:00 in the morning", I decided to write my own stories of Wal-Mart. One in particular that landed me in jail.....
Ah, fond memories of being 15. Smoked pot for the first time, drank, found out what punk music is. But more importantly, learned to shoplift!
I'll never forget the first time I shoplifted. My brother and best friend had been telling me stories of boosting PC games from wal mart, very successfully. Wait, you just..take them? How-- you don't get caug---whaaaaa!? I was skeptical, but they showed me the games and I knew they were legit. After they kept giving stories, and showed me money of selling them at school, I HAD to try.
They ran down the plan. Pretty simple actually. Pretend like you're looking at games. Discreetly cut the tape with a razor blade in between your fingers. Take the disc out. Stack it somewhere. Do the next game. When you have all the games you want, take the pile, go the end of the row (where you cant be seen of course) put them in your belt-line and walk the fuck out! Thats it!
I tried just one game at first. So nervous. But did it, walked out and was free! It was the biggest rush. It was so easy and now I had a $50 game!
I kept doing it and started getting more at a time. Up to about 7 games maybe. Getting lists for friends at school and selling them for $15.
The years went on and I moved onto other things. Like, just about anything. I started feeling like I was absolutely invincible. I discovered a backpack does wonders. Walk into a store, fill it up, and you have food, clothes, red bull, beer, anything. Super-Wal Mart opened and it remained my favorite store to boost from.
I was 18, living on my friends parents couch. (he was in a group home because his mom tested dirty for meth) I had dropped out of high school and quit my job. And started REALLY wondering what it took to get caught. At this stage, I was stealing almost everytime I went into a store. Just for fun. And stealing a lot of DXM (robtussin cough syrup or coricidan) from pharmacies to get fucked up. Looking back, it was a shitty time in my life for a few good months.
I walked into SuperWalMart one cold November night in SoCal (palm springs area). I was going to get my camera (which I stole) developed , then steal that. I had an hour to kill, so thought I'd accomplish something I had always wanted to do. Go down every single isle in the store and get everything I could get, fill my backpack to the brim. So I did. Along the way, drank some sodas, did a few whippits, ate some food from the hot food area.
After about an hour, I went over to get my film. They said the price. "Oh, I was going to pay up at the front of the store.".."No, you have to pay here, sorry."..."Ok, I'll be back. I have to get the money from my car."
I went to the soda place up front and refilled my lemonade. Started walking casually, sipping it, outside. Smiled and said good night at the exit lady. I took one step out the front door and.....
"WALMART SECURITY!!!!!!" A huge, biker looking guy stepped RIGHT in front of me, maybe just over a foot or so to spare. Without thinking at all, I threw the cup of lemonade in his face, shoved him as hard as I could with one arm, and started running. Well, this would have worked great. He was temporarily blinded and could only reach an arm out to stop me. WOULD have worked great if it weren't for the second guy behind me. I got literally one step from here, had my arms behind my back and was slammed on the ground.
I lay on the ground, in complete shock. I didn't know what was going on. I hadn't registered in my head about getting caught, it simply wasn't a possibility. They were yelling at me to get up, but I was too stunned to move. After they grabbed my hair, I understood a little.
I started walking to the security room, defeated. "Now I have you for assault. All that just for some cookies?" said the lemonaded security guard. I got in the room and saw the second security guard. MOTHERFUCKER, I saw him shopping earlier. Never trust a dude with a slayer shirt and tattoos. Hes not really shopping.
Oh shit, my heads bleeding. I guess that what happens when you're slammed on the ground. The cop came, did the usual cop shit, asked me if I had ever been arrested before. "yeah, for burning an American Flag." At this, the biker security guard walked out of the room. I'm not kidding! he came back a minute later, took a deep breath, and sat down. "Sorry guys, its just that..." and went on about how he was a good patriot and was offended by me and had to restrain himself when I said that.
They told me proudly that I was the 109th shoplifter caught, took my picture and put it on "the wall of shame". I wanted to laugh. I actually did start smiling. Just between me and my friends I know ALONE, we had boosted 200 times easy from that store. If they only knew....
Well the cop told me I was going to jail for commercial burglary. Not petty theft for the $53 of food, jeans, and shavers I took. Because I had prior intent upon coming to the store (dont ever say you were planning that. You're naive, you forgot your money or something on the way to the checkout, or just dont say anything) Oh, the cop asked me questions about my head injury. Was I ok, did I need hospital treatment. Did I want to press charges? I looked at the sec. guard, the one who I threw lemonade in his face and said "I don't know, are YOU pressing charges?" and we sort of both agreed to forget about that to avoid a big mess on both our halves.
Went to Indio jail for 4 days (fuck, dont commit crimes on friday!) and pled to a dropped misdemenor petty theft, 3 years informal probation and a few hundred in court fines. I went back a few times and stole though of course.
It took another time getting caught at a different place to totally steer me away from shoplifting. Lesson learned kids: Be sly and not cocky like me. You can at all times get caught. Be cool about it and you'll last a lifetime.
Ah, fond memories of being 15. Smoked pot for the first time, drank, found out what punk music is. But more importantly, learned to shoplift!
I'll never forget the first time I shoplifted. My brother and best friend had been telling me stories of boosting PC games from wal mart, very successfully. Wait, you just..take them? How-- you don't get caug---whaaaaa!? I was skeptical, but they showed me the games and I knew they were legit. After they kept giving stories, and showed me money of selling them at school, I HAD to try.
They ran down the plan. Pretty simple actually. Pretend like you're looking at games. Discreetly cut the tape with a razor blade in between your fingers. Take the disc out. Stack it somewhere. Do the next game. When you have all the games you want, take the pile, go the end of the row (where you cant be seen of course) put them in your belt-line and walk the fuck out! Thats it!
I tried just one game at first. So nervous. But did it, walked out and was free! It was the biggest rush. It was so easy and now I had a $50 game!
I kept doing it and started getting more at a time. Up to about 7 games maybe. Getting lists for friends at school and selling them for $15.
The years went on and I moved onto other things. Like, just about anything. I started feeling like I was absolutely invincible. I discovered a backpack does wonders. Walk into a store, fill it up, and you have food, clothes, red bull, beer, anything. Super-Wal Mart opened and it remained my favorite store to boost from.
I was 18, living on my friends parents couch. (he was in a group home because his mom tested dirty for meth) I had dropped out of high school and quit my job. And started REALLY wondering what it took to get caught. At this stage, I was stealing almost everytime I went into a store. Just for fun. And stealing a lot of DXM (robtussin cough syrup or coricidan) from pharmacies to get fucked up. Looking back, it was a shitty time in my life for a few good months.
I walked into SuperWalMart one cold November night in SoCal (palm springs area). I was going to get my camera (which I stole) developed , then steal that. I had an hour to kill, so thought I'd accomplish something I had always wanted to do. Go down every single isle in the store and get everything I could get, fill my backpack to the brim. So I did. Along the way, drank some sodas, did a few whippits, ate some food from the hot food area.
After about an hour, I went over to get my film. They said the price. "Oh, I was going to pay up at the front of the store.".."No, you have to pay here, sorry."..."Ok, I'll be back. I have to get the money from my car."
I went to the soda place up front and refilled my lemonade. Started walking casually, sipping it, outside. Smiled and said good night at the exit lady. I took one step out the front door and.....
"WALMART SECURITY!!!!!!" A huge, biker looking guy stepped RIGHT in front of me, maybe just over a foot or so to spare. Without thinking at all, I threw the cup of lemonade in his face, shoved him as hard as I could with one arm, and started running. Well, this would have worked great. He was temporarily blinded and could only reach an arm out to stop me. WOULD have worked great if it weren't for the second guy behind me. I got literally one step from here, had my arms behind my back and was slammed on the ground.
I lay on the ground, in complete shock. I didn't know what was going on. I hadn't registered in my head about getting caught, it simply wasn't a possibility. They were yelling at me to get up, but I was too stunned to move. After they grabbed my hair, I understood a little.
I started walking to the security room, defeated. "Now I have you for assault. All that just for some cookies?" said the lemonaded security guard. I got in the room and saw the second security guard. MOTHERFUCKER, I saw him shopping earlier. Never trust a dude with a slayer shirt and tattoos. Hes not really shopping.
Oh shit, my heads bleeding. I guess that what happens when you're slammed on the ground. The cop came, did the usual cop shit, asked me if I had ever been arrested before. "yeah, for burning an American Flag." At this, the biker security guard walked out of the room. I'm not kidding! he came back a minute later, took a deep breath, and sat down. "Sorry guys, its just that..." and went on about how he was a good patriot and was offended by me and had to restrain himself when I said that.
They told me proudly that I was the 109th shoplifter caught, took my picture and put it on "the wall of shame". I wanted to laugh. I actually did start smiling. Just between me and my friends I know ALONE, we had boosted 200 times easy from that store. If they only knew....
Well the cop told me I was going to jail for commercial burglary. Not petty theft for the $53 of food, jeans, and shavers I took. Because I had prior intent upon coming to the store (dont ever say you were planning that. You're naive, you forgot your money or something on the way to the checkout, or just dont say anything) Oh, the cop asked me questions about my head injury. Was I ok, did I need hospital treatment. Did I want to press charges? I looked at the sec. guard, the one who I threw lemonade in his face and said "I don't know, are YOU pressing charges?" and we sort of both agreed to forget about that to avoid a big mess on both our halves.
Went to Indio jail for 4 days (fuck, dont commit crimes on friday!) and pled to a dropped misdemenor petty theft, 3 years informal probation and a few hundred in court fines. I went back a few times and stole though of course.
It took another time getting caught at a different place to totally steer me away from shoplifting. Lesson learned kids: Be sly and not cocky like me. You can at all times get caught. Be cool about it and you'll last a lifetime.
