The Pronouns Thread

[Jimmy Beans]

@salxtina I took a look at every single comment that you're asking to be censored, here they are for ease of access;

https://squattheplanet.com/threads/the-pronouns-thread.39325/post-286087

https://squattheplanet.com/threads/the-pronouns-thread.39325/post-286181

https://squattheplanet.com/threads/the-pronouns-thread.39325/post-286200

https://squattheplanet.com/threads/the-pronouns-thread.39325/post-286251

Every single one of these with MAYBE the exception of the first one absolutely fall under;
STP Rules/Hate speech will not be tolerated/last paragraph

Which states;

"Remember, these boards are open to all walks of life and with that comes the need to respect them all. So please, leave your hate at the door. Also, we are not interested in censoring a negative slur if it's used in the context of a civil discussion. For example, we all know the difference between using the word 'nigger' in a discussion, and using it as hate speech towards someone. The latter will not be tolerated."

Even the exception, the very first post still isn't using it as hate speech towards someone. I believe Brodie genuinely didn't know it was a slur because he's heard numerous trans persons using it. Fuck I didn't know it was a slur until that all unfolded and my child is trans. I've never used the term because I just don't like the way the word sounds. I don't use it when discussing transmissions either because of the same reason. But now learning it's a slur will definitely keep me from using it.

Also if you follow the thread you'll see Brodie asking OP for confirmation on whether or not it's a slur, it's actually one of the other comments you're complaining about. He's like.. legit inquiring to learn if it's truly a slur and then upon OP explaining that it is.. he not only hasn't used it since then but he had these really nice things to say back to OP;

"EmmaAintDead You are a fantastic, thoughtful, beautiful writer and activist who has inspired me a great deal. I think you did a great job of coming full circle with this conversation and bringing some finality to this thread. Thank you. When I'm in Chicago next, I'm lookin' you up"

https://squattheplanet.com/threads/the-pronouns-thread.39325/post-286284

And you'd have us believe this person is transphobic and using hateful slurs against the trans community wouldn't you? Idk, he doesn't sound very transphobic to me. Seems to me he was uneducated about a word and he learned that it's a slur as this all unfolded and then discontinued to throw it around out of respect for trans people. This guy has been intimate with trans persons and you're still going after him like he's the enemy because of one misunderstanding of a single word.

Absolutely nothing you've publicly reported here goes against the rules. Actually while I'm on the subject, nothing you ever report seems to be against the rules. We receive more private reports from you than anyone else and we have to ignore 95% of them because they're baseless at least that often. You may want to take a look at that rules page and just get a little better understanding of it, it would be doing everyone a huge favor really.

I guarantee you I'm not the only one noticing this. It's been the subject of a discussion and it's annoying. Another thing, while I'm getting into your ass(<you should totally report that) is how often you'll dish out negative ratings at people. If you scroll down your activity feed, it's got more piles of poo given than the tenderloin. This was actually brought to my attention via PM from more than one user bothered by it.

So Idk, maybe while you're pointing the finger at others all the time for not playing nice.. perhaps you might consider practicing what you preach(so to speak) in that respect. Maybe it isn't everyone else that's always so offensive but rather it's you who's overly offended? That's my take on it anyway. Something you could ponder, or not. The poo emote reaction is right down there on the right, it probably looks like a worn out button to you.. feel free to use it now.

 

[Maxnomad]

Getting on salxtina's shit for maybe having a tone seems pretty absurd at this point in the game. Being able to come across calm or polite isn't in itself a virtue

 

[Jimmy Beans]

None of that was about tone and calmness doesn't need to be a virtue for us to ask it of people.

 

[Maxnomad]

So Idk, maybe while you're pointing the finger at others all the time for not playing nice.. perhaps you might consider practicing what you preach(so to speak) in that respect

None of that was about tone and calmness

 

[Jimmy Beans]

Did you follow the context? Jump back to the paragraph that leads into the one you're quoting. I'm talking about constantly reporting people for things that aren't even against rules and slinging shit at people in the form of emote reactions. Are we clear or do you still wanna do this?

 

[Maxnomad]

I'm not sure how to get into this, because i don't want to make this a fight. But i think you're wrong, and i think it matters. Recognizing obvi that i'm only one perspective.

It doesn't matter what the previous paragraph said. That would have been a perfectly reasonable thing to address via pm. Brawling about un or marginally related complaints just serves to sustain a distinctly and particularly gendered power dynamic. There's a second language to all of these exchanges made up of timing, cadence, tone and irrelevant side remarks. The condescension from some of these post has been awkward. And what the fuck is up w that porn post? How is that in any way related? That was just weird. I think a lot of us dudes are threatened by public discussion or performance of queerness basically because we associate it with being bullied, or being a target. Ghosts of stigmas from like, middle school, and unfortunately the rest of life. And i think sometimes even radical and ally dudes can act on those unconscious habits and respond aggressively. It comes accross on the affective level, in posture and expression and on the internet in similarly nonverbal ways. And sometimes its time to just like, step down. Chill, in whatever way you do. It's a heated topic.

 

[Maxnomad]

Anyway, i don't speak for anyone else. This is just what occurs to me

 

[Jimmy Beans]

And sometimes its time to just like, step down. Chill, in whatever way you do. It's a heated topic.

Couldn't agree with you more. I know I've seen someone around here asking everyone to do that. It's great to see someone else gets it.

 

[Beegod Santana]

This pronouns shit changes over the years. It's not second nature, it does need to be explained to some people, and totally flipping out when someone asks a question, as redundant as it may be, doesn't help anyone. The OP literally said they started this thread for people to ask questions. The "I don't need to be civil because someone beat me up in middle school" line is childish to say the least. Saying that asking someone to be civil and follow the rules creates a "gendered power dynamic" is just a half assed away of trying to avoid responsibility for your words or actions. Trans people aren't powerless child/adult hybrids that need to be allowed to have tantrums in public like a 5 yr old.

 

[roughdraft]

I think a lot of us dudes are threatened by public discussion or performance of queerness basically because we associate it with being bullied, or being a target. Ghosts of stigmas from like, middle school, and unfortunately the rest of life.

I think this would be a great point for you to elaborate and expand on.

My personal take is that it's more about the composure of the individual who's expressing themselves. It's not about being queer or not, it's about maturity and ability to articulate yr point. Not all queer people are the same, same as in any demographic. why is it that i have to point that out here? Being part of a repressed demographic doesn't magically mean you are right all the time.

Take for example this thread: not at all the best example of public performance because it's just typing on a forum, but public discussion, sure that applies. You've got @EmmaAintDead and @croc who are awesome because they can express themselves coherently without cutting people down and assuming the worst, @salxtina and @dumpster harpy who both clearly need a glass of water, then @feralautistic who is somewhere in the middle.

anyway i don't see how you wanna lump all dudes into one type and all queer/etc. people into one group when it's more about the individual.

 

[dumpster harpy]

Yup I sure am the fucking worst for telling someone that they're being a jerk. What a hysterical and unreasonable monster I am.

 

[salxtina]

Lupo you asked what I was referring to so I provided those links as examples of where people kept writing t***** for no reason

 

[Jimmy Beans]

for no reason

 

[feralautistic]

kinda fucked up to rate queer people by how much shit they'll put up with

 

[roughdraft]

kinda fucked up to rate queer people by how much shit they'll put up with

if yr referring to my post, i just pointed out from my perspective who has communicated themselves here in a way that has actually reached other people in a constructive way.

you painted it differently, but it's got nothing to do with being queer or not, or *rating* people like this is a gladiator arena or something. It's a matter of *how* people deal with shit and some people wanna just raaaaage instead of talking sense

 

[feralautistic]

@roughdraft it's interesting that you're only pointing out people who are here trying to speak for trans people's needs.

i keep saying this, other people keep saying this, but standards of "civility" aren't applied equally. or rather, you can be as transphobic and misogynistic as you like, but you're still considered civil as long as you don't call someone an asshole

 

[roughdraft]

you can be as transphobic and misogynistic as you like, but you're still considered civil as long as you don't call someone an asshole

Okay, I agree that this right here is totally fucked and unfortunately very prevalent. the way i see it, certain people (esp those in power) chronically enable themselves to politick their way around silencing, diminishing and destroying certain people. Widespread fakeness and toxicity among people is very bad. And all hatred against people for something like gender is simply unwarranted to begin with, in my opinion. Granted I can't convince anyone else otherwise. Believe me I have tried and even heard such beautiful excuses such as "the reason i think all women are stupid is that it's the truth". Not the type of person I want in my life.

Unfortunately it doesn't do anyone any favors to fight fire with fire. But what do I know? Maybe I'm just a coward. It's an idea at least. "you gotta beat *them* at their own game". Believe me if I had my little way there'd be no need for any of this.

Anyway this is a very dense conversation that I really should have never stuck my nose in. I just think there have been some innocent inquiries on the part of *some of the*' cisgendered posters here that have been greatly misunderstood. Communication is at least sometimes very complicated, and yes that totally does read like an excuse to conceal bigoted viewpoints - but give me the benefit of the doubt

 

[benton]

kinda fucked up to rate queer people by how much shit they'll put up with

Queer people aren't special people. They are people (like everyone else, right?)

People tend to get the exact level of shit that they will put up with.

I'll lay it all out there: I ain't with the new shit and I ain't getting with the new shit. I will continue my lifelong habit of not harming people around me irrespective of how they live their lives.

If someone thinks that makes me a jerk, that is THEIR OPINION and affects me to the exact level that I allow it to affect me.

There have been times that I referred to a biological male who wore dresses and asked to be referred to as "she" as "she" by my choice. I will continue to use he or she, or if necessary I will forgo the pronoun and use the person''s name.

I WILL NOT use "they" because it is plural and to me it is ridiculous to refer to an individual that way, as well as confusing. As far as non-binary and the other new shit, I'm not with it and I'm not going to get with it. Do whatever you want, but leave me out of it, and if you don't like it and think I'm a jerk, I can live with that.

As far as free speech protecting me from the government not the citizens, I have rarely had any issues speaking my mind in public while looking after my own safety.

Lastly, "hate" means "dislike and intense aversion" and is SUBJECTIVE. What I dislike and what you dislike are not necessarily the same, and we seem to increasingly be operating under a notion that there is a consensus with respect to what constitutes "hate," when in reality this is far from the case. Cancel culture and shunning and ostracizing people who do not conform to currently accepted ideas of hate only works if the individual being shunned actually cares about belonging to the group or not.

 

[blank]

Why do you guys keep feeding into a certain someone's persecution complex by responding? You never throw gas on a dumpster fire.

 

[Beegod Santana]

You never throw gas on a dumpster fire.

I actually met an ex-fireman in jail who was there for starting a bunch of dumpster fires and throwing gas on them is how he got them going. I know, I know, metaphors yo.