Cornelius Vango (Kelsey Abeler) should be avoided at all costs

[VW13]

Cornelius I've had the pleasure of meeting you once. I Drove Daisy to the slabs. Your self and caveman were great hosts. Slight altercation aside while I was there every relationship has ups and downs who can say from out side. I have known Daisy well for years and am a close and dear friend. What I can add to this as a concerned friend and an free thinking person is that Daisy was destroyed when he returned from the slabs.

I myself took time to reflect my own upraising in southern Louisianain. deep reflection and pondered on the way I was raised and the ideals I was raised on vs the things Daisy introduced into my life. Anti-rasist, wemons rights, lgbtq rights, and in general free thinking ideals.

I was raised a Mormon and was feed love and fear. I've always rejected religious views. Some ideals are Noble but the sum of the whole were unexceptable.

it's been a long time coming I introduced my self to this community. I apologise it's at this time but I can't allow this agregise act to befall my close friend.

Daisy is a major part in my life an is still rattled by what he experienced in the slabs on top of several unfortunate family misfortune's.

It's hard for someone ,who truly cares for others, to be betrayed, let down and just plain put in the dirt by someone they respect, to recover or ever feel they have any worth when the community they look up to and go out of their way to spend time with and reach out to acts the way you have.

It's disrespectful to Daisy and everyone else who's had to experience this. Also it's disracefull to say your apart of a group that is put down by so many to seem only to use it as one of your many tools to manipulate others.

I can't pretend to know what you've been through or what you've seen. I feel like you'd be a wicked Ally. As a jugglao I know what its like to have and abscure family.

I've had my own personal battles with heroin and alcohol. Served my time in the system for it. I wish to truely reach out and say if alcohol does bring out the worse in you seek help allow others to know and except and own your weakness. We need warriors in the true fight.

There's no reason to fight amougst our self's we all want the same. Respect ,peace, and solidarity.

Please I beg, I'm not to big to be above it, use your gifts to help the community not pick it apart from the inside out.

Either way this community has unanimously spoken that if you can't respect and find humilty, that you are no longer welcome here. Be the bigger person and walk away or step up and except the responsibility for what has been said and done. I feel I could speak for everyone that if an effort was made, this could all be be just a fucked up situation and laughed about later.

Ultimately this is up to you. Your path is your noone wishes you ill or harm only that there be peace amongst free thinking people and good times shared amougst friends.

 

[Hazardoussix6six]

Not involved at all, but take it out of here . Shit keeps keeping me up due to what seems from my perspective elementary shit. Grow up and stop.

 

[Cornelius Vango]

@VW13 I always thought john kenny was a fine person. I counted him among my friends and provided him a space to live and chill where he was accepted and protected. Its a shame that instead of approaching me with his concerns he chose to secretly harbor grudges.

 

[autumn]

Completely aside from interpersonal issues, completely aside from who was involved or what happened or where, I find it really hard to believe that only 3 people here can wrap their head around this: there might be specific circumstances that result in someone not wanting to be referred to as 'they.'

When the person has some physical/vocal traits that closer resemble their former gender a lot more than the one they identify with. I happen to know for sure the person we're talking about here has a deep, very deep voice. How dare you slip up Matt.. how dare you. Why can't you just get it right!

Big yikes.

just maybe you could consider just exactly how hard it is for everyone else who's not a trans person to completely rewire their brain from the pronouns they've always used

It's not because it's magically easier. It's because trans people understand what it feels like to be misgendered, and as a result care enough to get it right.

Sometimes it's hard, and sometimes it takes time. But it's not 1+ year hard.

Trying but casually failing for a year to use the correct pronouns for someone is an issue of indifference.

I don't have kids. Maybe that makes it harder for *you.* But I'm not Matt's daughter

Side note, of course your son is going to be an adult about it. But I'd bet all the money I have that it still upsets him.

 

[blank]

Why would someone have an issue being referred to as they? They is a pronoun that can even apply to inanimate objects. Where's X? Oh, they went to the store. What's up with the things on the floor? Oh, they fell.

 

[autumn]

They is a pronoun that can even apply to inanimate objects.

So is "it," what's your point?

Why would someone have an issue being referred to as they?

When it's used - perceived or otherwise - to casually deny someone's identity? Or to avoid gendering them correctly?

 

[blank]

Doesn't that kinda assume negative intent tho?

Oh and referring to anyone as "it" is pretty obviously insulting and very different from "they".

 

[Older Than Dirt]

How exactly does use of the pronoun "they" (which i think most folks use as a gesture of respect to avoid giving offense to others who may not identify with their apparent gender) "casually deny" anyone's identity?

Why exactly is it the duty of folks to "correctly gender" others?

Why does one person's particular performance of gender confer the right to police the speech of others?

 

[Jimmy Beans]

Completely aside from interpersonal issues, completely aside from who was involved or what happened or where, I find it really hard to believe that only 3 people here can wrap their head around this: there might be specific circumstances that result in someone not wanting to be referred to as 'they.'



Big yikes.



It's not because it's magically easier. It's because trans people understand what it feels like to be misgendered, and as a result care enough to get it right.

Sometimes it's hard, and sometimes it takes time. But it's not 1+ year hard.

Trying but casually failing for a year to use the correct pronouns for someone is an issue of indifference.

I don't have kids. Maybe that makes it harder for *you.* But I'm not Matt's daughter

Side note, of course your son is going to be an adult about it. But I'd bet all the money I have that it still upsets him.

You quoted me twice, I assume there's something here that you think I can't grasp? I'll address it in order, we'll start with "big yikes". Is it? Is that really alarming? Do you think that's insensitive or transphobic? I'll tell you what I think it is.. it's the truth. I think a lot of people, especially in certain bubbles tend to have a lot of "yes-men" friends. Avoiding the challenging subjects and always agreeing with someone isn't doing anyone any favors. It's a real motherfucker that'll tell you the shit that isn't easy to say. They take no pleasure in saying it but it's fucking reality. A place some of us don't just visit occasionally, we live there.

It's an absolute truth that it makes it harder to rewire your brain to nail the pronouns when the image of the person and tone of the person closer matches another gender. I don't even understand how you can make that "big yikes" remark from that statement. Rose colored glasses or what? I'm sure you'd like to live in a world where that weren't a reality and everyone could just nail the pronouns every time no matter what the person looks or sounds like but that's just not realistic.

Let's use an example. Let's say you're close friends with Jocko Willink right.. and one day Jocko informs you they'd prefer the pronouns "her and she" but she's made absolutely zero changes in the looks department and she still looks and sounds exactly like that.. is that going to be just as easy to get the pronouns right as opposed to someone who's completely different looking now and they've managed to completely change their voice as well? You know the answer, don't even front.

When you know someone for years and years and they're a guy as far as you know and then one day they switch it up, that shit isn't easy for others to get right immediately. Even a year later, if you haven't seen the person but once or twice in all that time.. is that really enough time? I get the feeling no matter how clear I make this, it's falling on deaf ears. Oh and I'm not saying the trans person this is all centered around didn't do anything in the looks department or whatever.. I'm just saying if there's still some of the old traits left behind like voice.. it adds a level of difficulty. Call me a transphobe for that, I don't give a fuck.

I think I'm barely getting to the next point now.

"It's not because it's magically easier. It's because trans people understand what it feels like to be misgendered, and as a result care enough to get it right."

Nobody said anything about it needing to be magically easier. I wish it were magically easier for trans people to understand when we fuck up the pronouns too but I digress. Those of us who are allies who aren't trans, we care enough to get it right too. We might not understand what it feels like to be misgendered but we love our friend/family member etc and we want to get it right because we respect them.

"Sometimes it's hard, and sometimes it takes time. But it's not 1+ year hard."

Convenient that you get to decide exactly how long it should take. How can you say it isn't a year+ hard? Because you yourself have had this experience and you've got it right in less time than that? That's fantastic but you can't hold everyone to your own standard. You're probably faster at solving math problems and maybe you're a faster runner, everyone is different. If a person is trying, give them some credit, fuck. "They" is trying. A not-trying Matt would say "he/him" forever.

"Trying but casually failing for a year to use the correct pronouns for someone is an issue of indifference."

Bullshit.

"I don't have kids. Maybe that makes it harder for *you.* But I'm not Matt's daughter"

Completely irrelevant. It makes it no more or less difficult by relation to the trans person.

"Side note, of course your son is going to be an adult about it. But I'd bet all the money I have that it still upsets him."

100%! I wouldn't dare take that bet. I absolutely agree, and that upsets me as well. You don't want to upset your trans friends/child etc. That's why we keep trying to get it right. 1 year, 2 year, 3 year 4. Please don't set a timer on us, we're fucking trying.

 

[EphemeralStick]

@autumn @Older Than Dirt @blank and anyone else. If you would like to discuss the usage of correct pronouns please make a new thread about it since the discussion needs to be had where it can receive full attention and not derail this thread.

As for this discussion, after days of talking it over the staff here at StP has found it necessary to move this thread to the Untrustworthy and Shady forum. Please know that this decision was not made lightly and that it is something that was discussed at length.

See the Staff note on the first post for more information.

 

[Caveman118]

Well first, matt derek is a great guy i think we all know that... And since this is now a untrustworthy and shady ppl post I feel like i should share my side... when i met corn they were in an extremely abusive relationship with another partner (we will call them #1). #1 was always an emotional wreak and corn and them were fighting all the time, i was stupid and blamed the problems on #1. And corn helped me believe that until they broke up. We started dating and it was ok things were rough and i blamed that on the break up. I was always trying to help them feel better but its impossible. They slowly whittled down my patience then turned to degrading me always putting me down and telling me i was always wrong and they were always right. And over a long time convincing me they were the only reason i was successful in slabs and making me too depressed to really fight back. Then i was just trying to make them happy every second just so they wouldnt lash out and put me down or threten me. They are a legitimate sociopath they feed on people that are new to traveling because its intimidating when you dont know how to survive on the road. The library was built on the backs of many good people doing good things.including myself. Corn fed off their talents while berating them and downplaying their contributions to the library. Corn feeds on glory and approval from others so corn surrounds themselves with talent and takes all the credit.

Thru our relationship ive seen them drive everyone away that wasn't immediately useful. Or anyone that challenged their authority. Ive also watched all corns friends struggle day after day trying to help until its not enough anymore and corn throws them away.

Besides the mental assault from corn ive seen them jump to violence over anything. They are a ragging alcoholic and when they drink they are much worse.They have threatened me with weapons multiple times and tried to run me over with her van ( in front of matt derek) smashed a couch and rammed the stage i was on, trying to hit me. They destroyed my ebt card in an argument. They caused a dispute that caused someonet to attack @dumpsternavel . violence follows them. They drink all the time and once drove so drunk they couldn't stay in the seat of their school bus and crashed it thru someones fence.

Corn disguises themselves as nobel and powerful but really they are weak and scared and make everyone around pay for their insecurity. Corn is toxic. All that being said i hope they can improve themselves and quit drinking..... But for now dont waste your time on corn you will be used for their gains and get only pain in return..

 

[Deleted member 16034]

Okay now that this is in Shady and Untrustworthy people... Can we talk about the time that Corn lost my dog?

I went into town with Creature, @Shwhiskey Gumimaci and someone else and I asked Corn to watch Cujo for me so he wouldn't overheat in the car. When I got back Cujo had gotten out when Corn had their back turned and apparently Corn had chased him through camp to get him back and he ran away from them (Because, he's fucking 8lbs and why are you chasing any animal expecting to catch them??) and Cujo was missing for 14 hours.

Can anyone who was there that day verify to me that that's what happened? There's always been a nagging suspicion that Cujo didn't just wiggle out in the "Minutes" that Corn wasn't watching. But hey if I'm wrong I'm willing to accept that I absolutely should have been more proactive about watching my dog.

 

[VariedValue]

I feel like this site collapses more and more everyday. If the fantastic 4 want a club go make one.

As far as the transphobe on your "staff" I think it speaks volumes.

Real careful. Real inviting. Idk why I even tried being apart of this site. All the warnings make sense now. It's just infighting between people who think they're so much better than others.
Shame to see such yet another group of so called radicals falling apart.

 

[3dcgfx]

Hey I don't think it's a good idea to have the shady designation thing! Corn's a little bit of an unappreciative asshole, but is also very, very likable. Corns video comments are taking a negative turn, the corn's a mildly famous person pretty much now alone in that library and this site will pretty much get ripped a new one if anything happens! It's really a pretty silly mudslinging fest! It might be a good idea to maybe immediately delete this thread, and then see if STP head guy help corn out for a couple of days, sleepover security, etc until more crew straggles in. I wrote to Corn about a super cool 200k follower youtuber called Wonderhussy, and Corn wrote back "oh cool! I met her!" This thread is unacceptable,!!



All this is crazy reefer head! Think back, you were friends for years!

 

[Matt Derrick]

and this site will pretty much get ripped a new one if anything happens!

not exactly sure what you mean by that, but i think we'll be fine.

It's really a pretty silly mudslinging fest!

less of a mudslinging fest and more of a case of people finally coming forward after corn betrayed one of their last defenders.

It might be a good idea to maybe see if STP help corn out for a couple of days, sleepover security, etc until more crew straggles in.

I'm obviously not going to stop anyone from visiting the library, but i think looking for aid from this community and especially from this thread is definitely barking up the wrong tree.

 

[3dcgfx]

Ok it just seems a bit much for they or them or his her etc. to have a five page former roommate grievance thing ''Corn lost my dog!!!" "One time, Corn tried to run me down with the van"

I think this thread might also be a classic textbook libel lawsuit, it's ok to point out rapists or possible escaped criminals, nicknamed drifters, but I think even super unkempt homeless people have the right to sue if they're lumped in for just being kind of a a-hole sometimes supposedly 'a published false statement that is damaging to a person's reputation; a written defamation. Character assassination.'

 

[MetalBryan]

We already out here getting ripped with famous people.

 

[Dameon]

I think this thread might also be a classic textbook libel lawsuit, it's ok to point out rapists or possible escaped criminals, nicknamed drifters, but I think even super unkempt homeless people have the right to sue if they're lumped in for just being kind of a a-hole sometimes supposedly 'a published false statement that is damaging to a person's reputation; a written defamation. Character assassination.'

Thanks, but if we think we need legal advice, we'll hire a lawyer and listen to them, not get legal advice from some random stranger on the internet who apparently joined for the sole purpose of threatening us on Corn's behalf.

 

[Coywolf]

Corns video comments are taking a negative turn, the corn's a mildly famous person pretty much now alone in that library and this site will pretty much get ripped a new one if anything happens!

First off, how the hell is that our fault whatsoever? It isint like we are going on Corn's YT and trolling it or something. Or encouraging others to do so.

Secondly, please do not lump everyone on StP into one collective group. I still visit the library, and I will gladly pick stuff up for them/donate/help them if I go down to the slabs, and if I have the means/time to do so. I'm sure there are others on this site that share the same mentality.

That doesnt mean I know Corn personally, support them, or share the same ideas. Neither does it mean I have any Ill will towards them, or the library for that matter.

But when people come out and state that they are being emotionally abused, or being exposed to a toxic person, I damn sure am going to listen, and defend other users on this site and elsewhere, if the concerns are legitimate, which it sounds like they are.

 

[roughdraft]

ya man I feel like this site is not only bringing information to people, but bringing people together- with stipulations dictated mainly by the owner and also by staff - some people in Untrustworthy / Shady are x, yes but if someone is just an unbearable asshole? and they can be exposed here? Nothing "law" level i could imagine.