It's the holiday season once more; and whether you're on the road away from loved ones or housed up and stuck with them, it can be a time of intense loneliness. So, I figure it's as good a time as any to express our love for one another—like the maudlin saps we are. C'mon and gather round, ya dirty jerks, let's share in a warming cup of compliments:
@creature — You're persona non grata around here these days and you'll likely never read this, but you'll always represent StP to me. Whatever your transgressions, I know your heart to be large and generous. Road dogs for life.
@croc — You have never been anything but good to me, without ever asking for anything in return. You were there for me when I was at one of my lowest points—tearfully drifting along white lines in the secret hope of a speedy screeching death—and you built me back up with love. Being loved is not an experience with which I've had much experience; and the fact that I wasn't much more than a stranger to you only proves how truly empathetic you are. No matter what happens from this point forward, I will always be most grateful to StP for forging our friendship.
@Geraldo — Yeesh, I feel like you deserve a post all your own. (And who's to say this isn't secretly that?) I've said it before, but getting to know you over the past couple years has truly been an honor. At no other time in my life have I been exposed to such an overwhelming surplus of...wit, charm, and intelligence. My hope is that, someday, you'll be able to look past your own warped view of yourself to see what so many others already have: a warm inner glow that has attracted your legion of friends, broken the hearts of half of the populations of two major American cities, and kept dingy moths like me circling your impeccable flame for too long. And no matter how often you vex me or I let an unkind word slip, nothing will stop me from rooting for your happiness. I love you like a sister (which—based on our familial pasts—might come off like an insult, but I swear is not).
@Heath Bar — Slab City bacon and San Diego lakin'. (Yeah, fine, it's an ocean—but that doesn't rhyme.) You're one of the most chill and least pretentious people I've ever met. Oh, and your taste in music is beyond reproach! You always lit shit up when times were good and held shit down when times went bad. Thanks for being a friend; and I can't wait to kick it again. (Another rhyme!)
@Hillbilly Castro — A poetic genius who just happens to build cabins in his spare time. Jesus Christ. (I mean, are you...?)
@Koala — Were there any justice in this world, trains would love you half as much as you love them. (And don't think I've forgotten my taco salad debt. What's the Aussie version? Kangaroo kale?)
@MolotovMocktail — You're smart, kind, and funny. Your presence, like your absence, is always noticed.
@siid — Oh, sure, everyone knows how badass you are—what, with your exotic locales and top-notch voguing skills—but I feel special for having seen a softer and sweeter side of you. (HA HA, YOU HAVE A HEART—DORK!)
@Snorting Nitrons — I have never known you to be anything but warm, witty, and welcoming. Always quick with a joke orto light up your smoke a poop emoji. I look forward to the day when I can finally sit at your knee and learn the fine art of palindroming.
As for those of you who didn't make the list, I wish you nothing but ill will.
(I kid, I kid...mostly.)
@creature — You're persona non grata around here these days and you'll likely never read this, but you'll always represent StP to me. Whatever your transgressions, I know your heart to be large and generous. Road dogs for life.
@croc — You have never been anything but good to me, without ever asking for anything in return. You were there for me when I was at one of my lowest points—tearfully drifting along white lines in the secret hope of a speedy screeching death—and you built me back up with love. Being loved is not an experience with which I've had much experience; and the fact that I wasn't much more than a stranger to you only proves how truly empathetic you are. No matter what happens from this point forward, I will always be most grateful to StP for forging our friendship.
@Geraldo — Yeesh, I feel like you deserve a post all your own. (And who's to say this isn't secretly that?) I've said it before, but getting to know you over the past couple years has truly been an honor. At no other time in my life have I been exposed to such an overwhelming surplus of...wit, charm, and intelligence. My hope is that, someday, you'll be able to look past your own warped view of yourself to see what so many others already have: a warm inner glow that has attracted your legion of friends, broken the hearts of half of the populations of two major American cities, and kept dingy moths like me circling your impeccable flame for too long. And no matter how often you vex me or I let an unkind word slip, nothing will stop me from rooting for your happiness. I love you like a sister (which—based on our familial pasts—might come off like an insult, but I swear is not).
@Heath Bar — Slab City bacon and San Diego lakin'. (Yeah, fine, it's an ocean—but that doesn't rhyme.) You're one of the most chill and least pretentious people I've ever met. Oh, and your taste in music is beyond reproach! You always lit shit up when times were good and held shit down when times went bad. Thanks for being a friend; and I can't wait to kick it again. (Another rhyme!)
@Hillbilly Castro — A poetic genius who just happens to build cabins in his spare time. Jesus Christ. (I mean, are you...?)
@Koala — Were there any justice in this world, trains would love you half as much as you love them. (And don't think I've forgotten my taco salad debt. What's the Aussie version? Kangaroo kale?)
@MolotovMocktail — You're smart, kind, and funny. Your presence, like your absence, is always noticed.
@siid — Oh, sure, everyone knows how badass you are—what, with your exotic locales and top-notch voguing skills—but I feel special for having seen a softer and sweeter side of you. (HA HA, YOU HAVE A HEART—DORK!)
@Snorting Nitrons — I have never known you to be anything but warm, witty, and welcoming. Always quick with a joke or
As for those of you who didn't make the list, I wish you nothing but ill will.
(I kid, I kid...mostly.)