Paranoid families

[Zanzae]

I know that some of my friends who hop trains and hitch are in contact with their families, and some are not. For the most part, I live with my parents, and try to keep them somewhere near the truth.

My cousin just called, and asked me how I was getting to om:festival. I told her hitch-hiking.

"Are you fucking insane!? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. That's not very adult of you. I thought you were smarter than that! You're getting to get raped and killed! People don't do that anymore. It's too dangerous. Do you have any idea how stupid that is?"

"I'll tell my dad you called"

"Take a bus! For god's sake, not before your dad's wedding. If you have no respect for yourself, then respect the fact that your dad is getting married, and if you died right before he got married....if you still want to be that stupid, do it another time. You could get raped and beaten. People don't just recover from that you know? It changes them for life!"

"...I'll tell him you called then."

"I hope you think about that, really. It's very dangerous."

"ok, bye then"

My parents themselves aren't fond of it, but they're getting a little more used to the idea. My cousin might just scare the shit out of my parents now..hmm..

Does anyone else have to deal with these sorts of reactions from family and/or others who you care about? I'm not fond of lying to people...so I attempted to tell her the truth...but now I almost regret it. How does it go for you?

 

[Bathtub666]

When I first started traveling i got a similar reaction. It's all a matter of standing your ground. Once you aren't raped and killed and all of that, it will be a little more difficult for them to tell you how dangerous it is. Just remind them that you aren't an idiot and you can take care of yourself. And remind them that you had enough respect for them to tell them your plans instead of going behind their backs. It can be hard for parent to get over the fear that society has beaten into them. Be patient but firm.

 

[blackmatter]

true dat

 

[Zanzae]

I've hitched once that my mom knew about - in B.C. she drove me & a friend to a good spot. She was convinced that on the island, it was very different from the rest of Canada, and was alright with it (not pleased, but alright). And then another time both parents knew about - after I came home from montreal. I told them I had taken a train there and hitched back (thank goodness they didn't ask me if it was VIA, or how much it cost). And numerous times that neither knew about.

So far I haven't even been hassled. One lady packed me a brown paper bag lunch at her house with peanut butter & jelly sandwiches, and drove us right to our location. Another guy bought us lunch. Another time I was bought breakfast, and given a lollipop. And then just other fun, nice people. Certainly nothing bad there.

This is the first that my cousin has heard of me hitching...even my mom keeps things from her, because she is so conservative. Hopefully she'll just get over it, like my parents are. Now...how to introduce train hopping...

 

[bakerdoo]

My mom has freaked out on me a few times. I keep her in the dark on most things now becuase she cant handle hearing about it. I dont like lying and dont lie to her much but if it saves her from being pissed and bitching my ear off then ill do it.
my dad knows all, he's good shit.

 

[Matt Derrick]

yeah im a little embarrassed to admit it, but im almost 28, and i still can't talk to my parents about most aspects of my lifestyle. they just don't understand, and my mom becomes a psychotic crying mess every time we talk about it, so we just don't...

which sucks, cause id like to have a closer relationship with my parents, but that's kinda hard to do when you can't tell them about anything going on in your life.

 

[iago]

same here...but im ten years younger than you. when i told my parents how i planned to travel my mom starts cry and all that good stuff and my dads just kind of like eh... i hitched across europe and the middle east 35 years ago...but you shouldnt the world is a different place these days dont be stupid and let your mom down. so when i go on 3 week+ road trips they think im driving with friends not riding trains and hitching.

 

[cracked]

My mother was initially freaked out about it, but after she continually saw me hitchhiking to places, over and over, and ending up perfectly safe every single time, she realized that I was alright.

It's strange how some people tell me that my hitchhiking habit is very dangerous and that I'll get raped or killed or w/e... when the fact is that I hitchhike regularly and have plenty of experience and they have NONE!

Post edited by: cracked, at: 2007/06/24 13:55

 

[Kendall]

My family has a right to worry though. My grand-uncle on my mother's side was someone who avidly picked up hitch-hikers, and he had a knife pulled out on him, his car jacked, clothes taken, tied to a tree, and repeatedly raped and left to rot; which he did. Later, they caught him in Kentucky (I believe) with my grand-uncle's clothes still on.

Anyhoo, I'm hitching to Nashville tomorrow.

 

[picklehop]

at first myfamily was just generally concerned, "you know you can lose limbs and/or die/and get attacked on the streets/and or blablablabla. Then sometime this year i decided i wanted to visit my hometown, small country villiage in the middle of a cornfield right next to the mississippi river in northern illinois and the day i arrived in my hometown and called my parents and let them know i'd be visiting they straight up told me not to call them, come to the house, contact them at all, because they were ashamed of my lifestyle, and now they dont talk to me at all and could give a shit less. they said, "untill you settle down and get a job and become a member of society that they don't need me in there life,and to call them when i did. which is pretty stupid because they kicked me out of there house when i turned 17.

Family should be important, and you should always have somebody like that to care about, and to care about you, but alot of people are so brainwashed from there own generation or upbringing, that no matter what you do you can't change their opinions or view on you or what you do. If parents can't understand what you're doing because they're too comfortable and use to their own comfy lifestyle then fuck them... they don't deserve to be related to somebody that lives so differently they can learn so many things from them. If you have parents that understand, and are interested, and supportive of your life, you are lucky. People like that are people that make this world a better place, and are the foundation to a world without discrimination or hate. i wish i could visit some of my family on holidays, the only time i can see most of myfamily, but because i can't come around my mother, stepfather, and step siblings, i can't come around any of them. and thats bullshit. i envy those that have a caring and understanding family.

 

[picklehop]

man thats fucked up, its crazy to think that there are some crazy's out there, and people that do that. though the chances are most likely less likely to happen that getting hit by a car falling out of the sky.... that story gives me goosebumps....

 

[Crazycoon]

I got picked up by a guy once who said he had a gun pulled on him once. He said to the guy "alright buddy see that telephone pole on the right just up there? throw thwe gun out the window2 or your gonna fucking get it" Apparently the guy threw the gun, then he stoped the car got out, beat the shit outta him, and buddy says "you give hitchhickers a bad name!" beaten guy:"what do you care?" driver "cause im a hitch hicker!!!!" Funny shit... Any way if all else fails with that knife to your throat. Run em into the fuckin sidelines!

Post edited by: Crazycoon, at: 2007/07/09 10:37

 

[Mouse]

after I had a terrible experience in Cali (long story) and my mom helped me get back to PA by buying me a plane ticket (me AND my dog) she says now that if I hitch my way off the east coast she'll hunt me down and cut my legs off. I gotta respect that. I will of course leave the east coast a lot but from now on only w/ my own transportation of a round trip ticket or some shit like that. I made a promise and I wont upset her.

when I first hit the road I always got the pointed question "what ARE you doing for money???" cuz I'm a girl and aparently girls can only make money one way in my mothers eyes. after she figured out I wasn't a whore she understood I was just a fucking bum. hehe.

all parents worry, but you can't let their fears stop you from living your life. I love my mom but she knows she raised and independent and free spirited girl who never listens. I think because she knows this she blames herself. hahaha. Sometimes I wish she would be more supportive but that's not something you can expect from a parent when it comes to being a fugative from the law or a drunk hitch hiker with no education. I'm sure she never pictured me doing these things when I was born, ya know?

 

[inky]

personal favorite parent-isms:

"we're old! we'll have heart attacks and die if you (go travelling/ride trains/don't tell us where you are every second of every day)"

"do you know how dangerous (riding trains/hitchhiking) is? people get killed all the time and OF COURSE you never hear about it. how could you hear about it if everyone that it happens to is DEAD?"

"you're a girl! you know how many people on the street are just waiting to prey on you? they'll rape you, take everything you own and kill you."

"why do you want to be homeless? why do you want to sleep on street corners? do you know who does that? drug addicts and prostitutes! they'll slit your throat for the shoes you're wearing!"


etc. etc.

so i let them know where i am, and i let them know i'm with friends, and they can make up their own ideas of how i got where i was, and let them go with that.

 

[emptypockets]

I leave my mother in the dark about most of the things. She'd flip a shit. However my brother loves what I'm doing and takes pride in it. My grandparents think my travels are great.

 

[Clit Comander]

that the reaction i get from my parents. They don't understand it, and even when i try to explain it their brains wont except it. I tell them all the time how i travel, but my mom convinces her self that we have a car and are driving it around. ha i haven't had a car since i was 16.

 

[danny boil]

i talk to my mom whenever i can, she doesnt like hitchiking at all, because like me she doesnt like or trust most people well integrated into mainstream society.

to the topic starter, if you dont want your parents to trip over you getting raped, murdered and possibly tortured then ride trains. that can only kill or mame you, and only if you're a fucking moron. my mom likes the idea of freight riding, she thinks its an odd thing seeing as she grew up very sheltered and until i started riding a few years ago never heard of hobos. shes my mom, so of course she has concerns, she usually tells me, in her own way, not to get too trashed if i'm catching on the fly. whenever i see her she packs me what she calls a "train lunch" made up of a grip of that dank ass progresso soup with the pop tops and campbells select soups and beans.

maybe i'm just lucky, i dunno. but i hate hitchiking, and i despise passenger trains, but being from san diego its much easier for me to hop out if i take the passenger train for free up one stop and take the bus into orange county, then get to LA and hop out up there. god i hate california.

 

[possum]

i got an "i expected so much more from you", and a dissapointed shake of the head, followed by 20 minutes of silence, during which i vacated the area

 

[maus]

.

Post edited by: maus, at: 2007/08/30 18:19

 

[maus]

PARENTS JUST DONT UNDERSTAND!