Thread WINNER! Where are they going to get a human leg they can serve you?
Prison staff and lawyers stumped, execution delayed- HOPE!!!!
For my last meal before hanging (my preferred form of execution if i get my druthers), which i hope not to eat soon: filet mignon with morels in sherry butter reduction, assorted stinky french cheeses that look and smell like pus (at least Pont L'Eveque, Epoisses, and Morbier); raspberry sorbet with lots of fresh raspberries flown in from France; case of Duvel or other strong Belgian abbey style trippel ale; bottle of calvados or (fuck "or", AND if i'm dying at dawn) poire William (french white lightning made from apples and pears respectively). Big bag of stinky reefer, bag of turkish tobacco, 2 packs kingsize papers, reliable lighter, none of these 50 cent crack lighters for my last night on this planet please.
On the whole, i prefer to be executed in France if possible. [NOTE TO SELF: Do murders only in FRANCE]
They actually abolished the death penalty a long time ago- imagine sentenced to life on french food. There is a cheese course in French school lunches from kindergarten on. And the government pays for your childrens shoes whether you are rich or poor. Ah civilization!
Juan Derlust: CHEESE IS CHRIST! [credit to my brother who thought of this important spiritual revelation/bad pun many years ago]
If we get to add sex to the menu: i told my wife years ago when she turned 40 that i wanted to trade her in for two 20 year olds. She said "You don't need to trade. You can bring these girls, one can cook, one can clean!" [in heavy Brazilian accent]
I would cash in on that offer for a final conjugal visit- i would even share the poire william, calvados ,and reefer, but not the cheese course, with the three of them.
Fried chicken, rib eye medium rare, crispy waffles with Mrs. Buttersworth syrup, a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream and a glass of milk...oh can’t forget the buttermilk mashed potatoes
A pretty plate of caprese salad. I've heard that that some states and prisons are getting rid of the whole last meal thing though, which seems kind of cruel to me. Who wants to eat the same prison food for their last meal before they die?
I'm not sure what is permissible or not - but for my last supper, if it were possible then I would prefer the following, in the following order:
5 quarts of Extra Dry Champale
30 White Castle Hamburgers
1 extra large vanilla milk shake.
*and before you ask, yes I have done this, in 1989 in Brooklyn NY after hanging out all night in Cannon Ball Park... drinking the night away with my mate Robert, while blasting the UK Subs on a radio that consumed a biblical amount of D Cell batteries !!
[We can discuss what followed about 2 hours later in another thread if there is enough interest...]
The first $50 in donations go towards paying our monthly server fees and adding new features to the website. Once this goal is reached, we'll see about feeding Matt that burrito.
Buy Matt a Beer
$75.00 of $75.00
Now that we have the bills paid for this month, let's give Matt a hearty thank you by buying him a drink for all the hard work he's done for StP. Hopefully this will help keep him from going insane after a long day of squishing website bugs.
Feed Matt a Burrito
$100.00 of $100.00
Now that the bills are paid and Matt has a beer in his hand, how about showing him your love by rewarding all his hard work with a big fat burrito to put in his mouth. This will keep him alive while programming new features for the website.
Finance the Shopping Cart
$105.00 of $200.00
Now that the bills are paid and Matt is fed, perhaps it's time to start planning for those twilight years under the bridge... if only he had that golden shopping cart all the oogles are bragging about these days.