how to pass a piss test

[RideMoreTrains]

Most head shops sell detox as well. If you go in there tell them you have 'toxins' in your body and you want to remove them. They'll know what you're talking about. If you go in there saying your piss is dirty from smoking weed, or doing some other drug they want sell to you.

 

[wokofshame]

hey does the heat of your crotch keep the bottle at 98 degrees if it's behind yr scrotum?
or do you really need the handwarmers?

 

[IBRRHOBO]

I never used handwarmers. However, I'd experiment, which is exactly what I did PRIOR to dropping the piss. Also, watch out if you're using a harness not to let it ride above your underwear.

 

[RideMoreTrains]

Check this video out. it uses the same basic concept i was talking about. mixing synthetic urine into a small 2 oz bottle and rubber banding hand warmers around it. its important to do practice runs with this method. i always used hand warmers. i'm not sure how warm it would stay in a bottle without them even if its behind your balls. i never used one but these guys even put a temperature gauge on the bottle.

you can also buy a product called the urinator. its quite pricey but its a fake penis that is hooked up to batteries that keep the synthetic urine at exactly the correct temperature. apparently its completely silent too. might want to check that out if you have to piss for a PO

 

[IBRRHOBO]

This is why I gotta laugh my fucking ass off!!!!! Now, if you're going into a job UA, yeah, they're going to put you in a sterile room and that's that. In the fucking Parole/Probabtion office the PO is LOOKING at your fuicking DICK/VAGINA. You aren't gonna waltz in, take a cup, close the door, be hidden for as long as you want and then give the cup back!

Oh, I agree it'll work for a job interview as I UA'd for the Union many a time, but this folks are talking about PO's here!

 

[drunken marauder]

Hey IBRR Michigan is Hilarious on their parole stuff.. I'm on a b prefix.. The last time I dropped dirty it was on an instant test and it was for everything like 7 panel hahahahahaaa and my po was like were not gonna have a habit of this. I dont care what my supervisor says I'll put you in jail.. I dont know if I mentioned the powdered bleach in my last post but when I cared Id sprinkle a little of that in the cup. And here in MI I guess probation wont take diluted tests but I would fight that in court cause I've been hospitalized for dehydration a few times now and dammit I drink water no law agianst that I'd just have to plead guilty for drinking water and they can just eat a fat one... If you want to put me in jail for a week cause I drink water to stay healthy I'm writing a letter to the editor and let the tax payers know where they're money is going..

 

[IBRRHOBO]

Yeah, you can always file a Habeas and shit, but hell you're stuck on a no-bond ringer. I agree, though, you'd (perhaps anyone) would beat it. In reality what most PO's will do, due to the overcrowding and budget crisis, is hold you over to sweat you a little and then farm you out to treatment. The treatment (in/outpatient) will depend on how you stack your cards w/the evaluation.

Yeah, in the big house guys used Borax to blow the chart. We also sprinkled it around the bunks and cell gates to burn the dog's nose when it came in.

Hope your parole goes well and welcome back to the free world, bro!

 

[Ubi]

if you're a guy get someone to pee in a condom. and tie it. (obviously someone who is sober, pay a straightedge kid or something) than when the person administering is watching you bust it out from the inside of your pants and poke it with a safety pin. it's pretty gross but as long as they don't catch you in the act you should be good.

I got some guy to pee in a condom for me, then I stashed it in my panties. Apparently the area surrounding my vag is warm enough, and they couldn't tell/didn't check gender. This definitely wouldn't work for a PO though, just employment drug testing. I tried one of those head shop cleansing drinks once and failed horribly. Real pee is where it's at.

 

[Mouse]

that quick fix shit looks great for trying to get a job good idea

 

[blacklines]

Sonne's #7 or other "intestinal cleanse" that contains Bentonite. bentonite is a ball clay, or a clay with really small particles that make it extremely absorbent. Drink the whole bottle over the course of a week before the test, though Ive heard it working even the night before.... Does not dilute the sample and is not excreted with urine which means it cannot be tested for. I have personally seen this used for PO tests time and again without issue. This was in the context of THC, couldn't vouch for anything harder.

 

[Mouse]

so far my new P.O. doesn't seem to give a shit about her job so she hasn't pissed me since I switched to her back in nov 08.

sometimes I just want a lil weed to ease the boredumb of this place.

 

[PoopfaceMcGizzle]

don't count on niacin, ever. it helps to loosen up a *little* thc from your fat, but unless you're a naturally skinny person it won't help much. in 3 years on STL county drug court (with 3-4 tests a week) everyone i knew who used niacin save one dropped dirty and got locked up. the only natural way that i know works most of time only works for certain people. if you're naturally really scrawny and have a few days to prepare drink a few gallons of water a day and make sure to spend at least 2 hours running. keep your diet minimal to stop any new fat storage. this doesn't help most women though as they have a higher natural fat storage. without detox products most fixes don't work for girls near as well, sorry. and on the comment that being skinny doesn't help with the timetable for pot, NIDA did a study a year or two back confirming it does make a big difference. i'll link it when i find it again. & i've never failed a piss test as long as i quit 2 weeks before.

 

[jdrakeh]

Cheating tests depends on what kind of test you're taking. Strips/cups/tracks are pretty easy to beat by drinking lots of water prior to the test. A true spectral analysis is almost impossible to beat, as it will break down and isolate everything in your urine (bleach, water, etc). The only 100% sure way to beat that level of testing is to not use prior to the test. Fortunately, such test are usually reserved for "special" felons due to their prohibitive cost.

 

[Teko]

the best was and the easiest without harming your body for me has been to take charcoal pills and drink cranberry juice! although it needs to be 100% pure cranberry juice! and take about 10 charcoal pills with an entire gallon of cranberry juice, i promise you, you will piss clean urine. i smoked a blunt, took the pills and juice and in 24 hours im good to piss for whom ever! ive beaten several piss test and swab test with this method!! it works..!

 

[Winter]

DONT use naicin...too many places test for that now. I've never been on probation...but I've had to pass a few piss tests for jobs. I either got someone to piss in a small bottle (like a trial size shampoo bottle or a lil bigger) before i went...heated it up in the microwave to get it a lil extra warm (yes...you heard me correct lol) then stuffed in in my panties right up to my stuff right before i walked in. it remained warm enough and i passed. easy. for an observed test that i took....i took quick flush caps. it sucked but i passed. i had to take like 16 fucking pills and drink a shit load of water...but it did work!

 

[Teko]

charcoal pills and cranberry juice.
10-15(depending on your weight) and 1 gallon of cranberry juice(100% juice) in 24 hours. You will pass your piss test.

 

[Teko]

yea way to be stoned and not see i already posted that.

 

[happyearthhomes]

My wife is a microbiologist and she runs a urinalysis spectrum machine for a drug testing location and we have experimented with many different products the most effective thing we found was the actual machine control samples which you can order online at http://www.4qc.com/products/urinalysis/dipper.html this is what they use to test the accuracy of the urinalysis spectrum machine it is synthetic piss that they use as a control the only problem is that you need 2 samples to get enough fluid for a standard fill to the line piss test

 

[shwillyhaaa]

id listen to him ^

 

[smarts]

sure-jell and gaterade...super cheap, super cheap, super effective