Dressing "Slutty" Will Not Get You Raped (1 Viewer)

A

AlwaysLost

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I am here today to rant and dispel this stupid movement going around called clothing does not equal consent. Its just some bullshit for women to rationalize dressing however they want without consequences (the non rapey kind). Grow up and take responsibility for your choices. People are going to judge you by your appearance. THIS is a something everyone (male or female) on this site has experienced.

Okay now that I have come across as a total misogynist, now let me dial it down a notch and make my argument. And my disclaimer. No woman should ever be forced to do anything they don't want to ever, period.

Now my rational. You do not get raped (man or girl) based on how you are dressed. You get raped because 1) you have made poor choices or 2) through no fault of your own, you have now come across the path of a rapist. Either way, this is not your fault. Just as its not the fault of a murder victim getting shot or the guy who leaves his car unlocked and has it hijacked. You are an innocent victim.

Being a rapist is the same as being a serial killer. You either are one or you are not. I have had a lot of female friends over the years. I have always just jibed better with females than men. Whether through drunkenness or skinny dipping etc I have seen several of my girl friends (not girlfriends) in various states of undress. I have never felt the need to rape any of them. We'd go clubbing and they would dress "slutty" I would drive them to and fro. Not once did I rape them because they were dressed to party. Even when they were naked, I was probably like 'holy crap shes hot'. But I have never felt "rapey" not even once in my life.

Even when a man gets his most desperate he will not rape a girl. He will go to the seediest strip club in town or hit craigslist for a "date" thats just reality.

A rapist however rapes...sometimes alcohol helps sometimes not. Date rape is still rape. But the guy (or girl) that raped you did so because he has the rape gene. Alcohol or drugs may have unleashed it in him just as some people would never kill anyone while sober but add a little bit of meth added to equation and bamn murder-gene unlocked.

If I see a girl with slut written across her short shorts or a rich girl in a see-through $1000 dress you better believe im gonna imagine doing all kinds of nasty stuff to her and she will probably be in my mind when I fap later that day.

But even if (never happen) that girl was naked in front of me. I aint touching her unless she says yes and is not intoxicated. The first time I do it with a girl we both have to be sober (unless we'd already made the decision to do it before drinking)...I've fooled around while drunk but I refuse to commit a sexual act while intoxicated because that is what gentlemen do.

And it has saved me from a lot of drama through the years. I have even had girls thank me later. Not that they had to. I valued their friendship too much and once you have sex with a girl, there is no going back to the friendzone. I know Karen wouldn't have been mad had we did it. But we probably wouldn't be still friends and I need that girl in my life.

However if you dress like a "slut" you don't get special privileges by creating a bs movement any more than I wont get my ass kicked if I dress like an idiot downtown. Or get arrested looking bummy in a rich neighborhood.

People treat you how they perceive you. That is reality. It doesn't make it right. But its true. Even homeless people treat you differently when you dress like a rich man. .

I was dressed to the nines this morning. I saw my home-bum buddy sitting at the bus stop. He thought I was a yuppy until he recognized me as a "redneck" as he called me. We had a good laugh when I explained why I dress the way he does (urban camo). I gave him and his buddy 5$ for a beer (this guy helped me when I had nothing). He treated me normally but his buddy treated me like some sort of benevolent business man (way too polite). I didnt have time to explain to him that IM only one paycheck away from hanging out with them lol...but my buddy did I am sure.

But my point of this rant is Ladies, Dress however you want. I know there's plenty of times that its totally cool to dress to party (and believe me I appreciate it). But make smart choices (follow basic self-defense and self-awareness) so hopefully Godwilling you never cross the path of a rapist. Sometimes theres nothing you can do. But be as safe as you possibly can! I wish we lived in a world where rape didn't exist but that's just not how it is.

Okay lets open this up for safe, respectful discussion. Everyone be gentleman.
 
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Coywolf

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I cant wait for the over-reacted replies to this thread....its gonna be GOLD!

But personally, im not going to touch this discussion.
 

Matt Derrick

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Oh boy, where to begin...

First, moving this thread to sex and sexuality section. Please, please, please, everyone stop using the general banter section for stuff that could easily go somewhere else on the board. If it doesn't belong in the section you put it, a mod will come along and move it for you at no consequence to yourself.

To the subject at hand, I understand what you're trying to say, but the main problem with your argument is that you're still putting the blame on the rape victims themselves. While this is technically against our forum rules, I'm going to let it slide since I'm hoping the discussion coming out of it will be more productive than laying down a warning (and that seems to be the OP's intention as well).

Telling women/men/anyone that they got raped because 'you made poor choices' really invalidates most of your argument from the start. This statement shifts the blame from the perpetrator to the victim (obviously) while missing the point entirely that no one should ever be raped, ever. No matter the place, the people, situation, or decisions made, there's no legitimate excuse to commit rape against anyone. Ever.

In an ideal world, anyone should be able to run down a dark alley (or park, or whatever) naked and not have to worry about getting raped. Now your counter argument is obviously going to be that we don't live in an ideal world, and you would be correct in that assumption. That still doesn't change the fact that people should be able to make whatever decisions they desire (whether it's a good decision or not) and live without fear of being raped or being blamed for their own rape by people telling them 'well, looks like you made a poor decision'.

I am here today to rant and dispel this stupid movement going around called clothing does not equal consent. Its just some bullshit for women to rationalize dressing however they want without consequences (the non rapey kind). Grow up and take responsibility for your choices.
I'm sorry but this statement alone is extremely offensive and ridiculously ignorant.

Despite your opinion of that person's actions, victim blaming is NEVER okay and there is NO situation in which the victim of rape should be blamed for someone else's actions, ever. Clothing does not equal consent as a statement is completely true and I support the 'rationalization' (as you put it) that women (or anyone else) should be able to dress however they want without consequences. Anything else firmly places the blame back on rape victims. So I would take some time to think about your previous statement and how it could be interpreted in an extremely negative way by rape survivors.
 
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Zaphod

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wow, a man posts some victim blaming bullshit while simultaneously claiming it's not victim-blaming. You can fuck right off
 

Zaphod

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Yeah, which has nothing to do with how they dress and everything to do with how men are trash. Nudity (or revealing clothing etc) is not inherently sexual. The problem is not how women dress. The problem is men treating women like objects. The problem is rape culture. The problem is patriarchy.
 

Koala

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But the guy (or girl) that raped you did so because he has the rape gene. Alcohol or drugs may have unleashed it in him just as some people would never kill anyone while sober but add a little bit of meth added to equation and bamn murder-gene unlocked.
Yeah rape and sexual crimes have been genetically linked shown in some studies on extended families, but the way you described it is not scientifically accurate at all.

But my point of this rant is Ladies, Dress however you want. I know there's plenty of times that its totally cool to dress to party (and believe me I appreciate it). But make smart choices (follow basic self-defense and self-awareness) so hopefully Godwilling you never cross the path of a rapist. Sometimes theres nothing you can do. But be as safe as you possibly can! I wish we lived in a world where rape didn't exist but that's just not how it is.
We're going to dress and act however we want and don't need your "point" of advice to do so.

Okay lets open this up for safe, respectful discussion. Everyone be gentleman.
oh wait, "be gentleman"? was this even open to discussion from women? or was this just a space for men to talk about women's issues? as if there aren't enough of those
 
OP
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Notmyname

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Yeah, which has nothing to do with how they dress and everything to do with how men are trash. Nudity (or revealing clothing etc) is not inherently sexual. The problem is not how women dress. The problem is men treating women like objects. The problem is rape culture. The problem is patriarchy.
Yeah cause a woman can't rape anyone. It seems that lately women have to be scared of date rape and men should fear their female teachers. So fuck off with that men are trash patriarchy bullshit.
 
OP
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Notmyname

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Rape is not a women's issue. It's a human issue. This is why so many people don't like modern feminism.

Granted the op is specifically talking about women being raped. But yeah I'm with rooster. I'm gonna fuck off. This is not a conversation I wanna try to have online.
 

Zaphod

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"Men get raped too" is a perfectly valid discussion as long as it's not derailing another discussion; feel free to start your own thread.

Oh wait, you just wanted to invalidate the experiences of women? How original, we've never heard that before ::banghead::

Sexual assault is a problem that disproportionately effects women though, and that's a direct result of patriarchy. As is slut-shaming victim blaming bullshit like OP

Luckily motherfuckers like you are becoming a relic ;)
 
OP
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Notmyname

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"Men get raped too" is a perfectly valid discussion as long as it's not derailing another discussion; feel free to start your own thread.

Oh wait, you just wanted to invalidate the experiences of women? How original, we've never heard that before ::banghead::

Sexual assault is a problem that disproportionately effects women though, and that's a direct result of patriarchy. As is slut-shaming victim blaming bullshit like OP

Luckily motherfuckers like you are becoming a relic ;)
Your armor is so shiny I can't read this shit anymore. And inequality has been around for millennia longer than this idea of "everyone is equal and deserves fair treatment" I'm not saying I support inequality, just saying that if you think change happens so fast you're extremely naive.
 

autumn

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Your armor is so shiny I can't read this shit anymore. And inequality has been around for millennia longer than this idea of "everyone is equal and deserves fair treatment" I'm not saying I support inequality, just saying that if you think change happens so fast you're extremely naive.
That's really fucking funny coming from a rapist.

It should be known that this person sexually assaulted a woman who was asleep. In my presence.

https://squattheplanet.com/threads/notmyname-aka-dj.33326/
 
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Zaphod

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Wow, I'm sorry marginalized people demanding equity upsets you so much; why don't you go ahead and kick rocks and take your toxic male baggage with you.

Hmu when you're ready to do better ;)
 

Zaphod

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That's really fucking funny coming from a rapist.

It should be known that this person sexually assaulted a woman who was asleep. In my presence.

Oh, well in that case, best stay away from Cincy. Might not be very safe for you
 
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N

Notmyname

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That's really fucking funny coming from a rapist.

It should be known that this person sexually assaulted a woman who was asleep. In my presence.
It's also funny that I met her on tinder with explicit conversations of sex. And that If anything actually happened, you Andy and that homebum Jason shoulda beat my ass and threw me outta the house. But I woke up and y'all were gone. I was blacked out so I don't remember exactly what happened and only heard from Jason why you left so early. And that chick said it was bullshit too. She even told me she was pissed that I got so drunk and then brought you guys over
 

Zaphod

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The lack of reaction on their part doesn't justify your sexual assault. The previous discussions about sex do not make it okay to assault someone who's passed out and therefore can't consent
 

Coywolf

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That's really fucking funny coming from a rapist.

It should be known that this person sexually assaulted a woman who was asleep. In my presence.
Oh, well in that case, best stay away from Cincy. Might not be very safe for you
It's also funny that I met her on tinder with explicit conversations of sex. And that If anything actually happened, you Andy and that homebum Jason shoulda beat my ass and threw me outta the house. But I woke up and y'all were gone. I was blacked out so I don't remember exactly what happened and only heard from Jason why you left so early. And that chick said it was bullshit too. She even told me she was pissed that I got so drunk and then brought you guys over
This thread has turned into a fucking soap opera.

Cant say i didnt see that coming.

Rape/sexual assault is bad, M'kay? Its funny how people nitppick about the fine print....there shouldnt be any.

Also, @zim do you really think this was an appropriate thread to drop that bomb about @Notmyname ?

It seems like corroberation and personal testimony should be heard about thatt, let alone have a different thread about it, otherwise that seems quite slanderous to me, just my 2 cents.
 

autumn

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Also, @zim do you really think this was an appropriate thread to drop that bomb about @Notmyname ?

It seems like corroberation and personal testimony should be heard about thatt, let alone have a different thread about it, otherwise that seems quite slanderous to me, just my 2 cents.
Yeah, you're right about that. I had put off making the post about it for a few different reasons that I won't get into here.. but when I saw him posting that stuff it made me furious. There's an untrustworthy thread now.

The lack of reaction on their part doesn't justify your sexual assault. The previous discussions about sex do not make it okay to assault someone who's passed out and therefore can't consent
Completely aside from the fact that nobody should think there's any ambiguity with someone that's passed out.. a lack of understanding what constitutes consent is a pretty huge problem I see even in the leftist crowd here and on r/anarchism, and in real life. It's not surprising, then, that the general population is completely fucking clueless. Sad as it is. People need to be better educated about consent.
 
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Matt Derrick

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the fact that @Notmyname chose to comment on this thread isn't without a little bit of hypocrisy so i think the calling out is relevant.

that said, this isn't a discussion thread about that topic, so please keep responses relevant to the OP.
 

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