Being a Female Alone on the Road Comes With Constant Harassment

[Domm]

I feel your pain as AFAB. I've been sexually harassed numerous times just walking down the street (almost got jumped last week just walking up and down the block), even in the middle of the day. I think our sexually-based culture and pornography has a lot to do with dehumanizing women and desensitizing men to sexual violence. The only thing we can do is arm ourselves and trust our guts, but even that isn't foolproof sometimes. May your future travels be pervert free.

 

[Menika]

All sex is a rape, male sexuality is wrong and ugly.

Really? Are you just an asexual being who believes the human race should stop reproducing and die off?

 

[Deleted member 125]

just a quick heads up, user "ped" has been banned so they can not see or respond to messages directed at them.

 

[Durp]

wtf? Sorry your post got hi-jacked. Man what an asshole, sort of funny he got banned.

Are you responsible enough to train and care for a dog? If so get a big scary looking rescue doggy. Train it to snarl and growl with one command that's discrete, and another for attack. The dog just being there is usually enough to keep away trouble. A dog that can be mean is your best asset/ friend on the road. Will keep you from freezing to death too if you get caught out in bad weather, put the dog in your sleeping bag, and crawl in. Am I trying to laid now too? lol

Are most guys really that bad? Have to say, women do think guys are coming on to them a lot when they truly have no interest. I have been accused of making moves by creatures no amount of booze, money, blindfolds, and Viagra would have gotten it up. I have never been un-attached for more then a couple weeks since I fist got laid, and am only into women that take charge, so I must be out of touch. So glad I am partnered up. I really don't get it. If you just do something cool, are friendly, don't talk too much, interested women just gravitate to ya. Here is a little tip young single guys, the less desperate you seem, the more likely you are to get laid. Is mutual consent all that hard of a concept to get?

 

[wildwerden]

I feel a lot safer when I have my dog with me. She's not particularly fond of strangers which makes it really nice keeping perverts the fuck away from me. She's small but goes nuts lunging, barking, growling, snarling. She scared off four cops for me a few nights ago. But I do need to work on her not spazzing out on every single stranger, just the ones I don't like. Dogs are better road dogs... they don't talk back or betray you. I'm sorry you're getting the rough of it though, it's pretty harsh out there sometimes.

 

[Shwhiskey Gumimaci]

I started to post something this morning and then got torn away to do stuff and then came back to a mix of good things and one ex-member's freaking crap. I am so sorry for this. You, as a female, or a male - whether sole traveler or not, should not have to deal with this - but unfortunately you may. I know you have written you are tired of a road dog, but in lieu of some circumstances perhaps another female or more may help. I moderate another traveling group and have a couple of lone female travelers atm. I have contacted one person to see where she is and how she is traveling, but there are more options as well. Do let me know if you are interested and I hope you are well because we care.

My favorite road dog crew was 2 females. We were a power crew. I just need to find some more women or woman like that. Can be hard to find people to click with

 

[Shwhiskey Gumimaci]

wtf? Sorry your post got hi-jacked. Man what an asshole, sort of funny he got banned.

Are you responsible enough to train and care for a dog? If so get a big scary looking rescue doggy. Train it to snarl and growl with one command that's discrete, and another for attack. The dog just being there is usually enough to keep away trouble. A dog that can be mean is your best asset/ friend on the road. Will keep you from freezing to death too if you get caught out in bad weather, put the dog in your sleeping bag, and crawl in. Am I trying to laid now too? lol

Are most guys really that bad? Have to say, women do think guys are coming on to them a lot when they truly have no interest. I have been accused of making moves by creatures no amount of booze, money, blindfolds, and Viagra would have gotten it up. I have never been un-attached for more then a couple weeks since I fist got laid, and am only into women that take charge, so I must be out of touch. So glad I am partnered up. I really don't get it. If you just do something cool, are friendly, don't talk too much, interested women just gravitate to ya. Here is a little tip young single guys, the less desperate you seem, the more likely you are to get laid. Is mutual consent all that hard of a concept to get?

I have a cat. I don't think I could handle another animal I appreciate your input though

 

[Shwhiskey Gumimaci]

By the way @cantcureherpes and @EphemeralStick thanks for helping ban that asshole ped. Andy I know your always looking out for me. Love you

 

[Deleted member 125]

By the way @cantcureherpes and @EphemeralStick thanks for helping ban that asshole ped. Andy I know your always looking out for me. Love you

thank @Kim Chee and the rest of the mods. i just have a big mouth, but i hope you find what you need to feel safe again.

 

[freegander]

i'm so glad this thread exists. i think we need to have more discussions about feminism and minority issues surrounding the traveling lifestyle.

to all the women/trans/non-binary folk reading this: your feelings are valid and you deserve to feel safe. please reach out to trusted friends for support and help. the patriarchy is exhausting, but you don't have to fight it alone.

i had the misfortune of meeting ped irl, cause i wanted to buy his van. turns out he isn't actually selling and suggested i travel with him and his dog instead. i had avoided this site for a while after that because i felt that it was a reflection of the entire community, but i am pleased to return and find him banned. i am really grateful the mods here don't tolerate these statements.

much love to you @Shwhiskey Gumimaci. i appreciate your boldness and support you in every effort to regain your sense of safety.

 

[Deleted member 125]

i'm so glad this thread exists. i think we need to have more discussions about feminism and minority issues surrounding the traveling lifestyle.

to all the women/trans/non-binary folk reading this: your feelings are valid and you deserve to feel safe. please reach out to trusted friends for support and help. the patriarchy is exhausting, but you don't have to fight it alone.

i had the misfortune of meeting ped irl, cause i wanted to buy his van. turns out he isn't actually selling and suggested i travel with him and his dog instead. i had avoided this site for a while after that because i felt that it was a reflection of the entire community, but i am pleased to return and find him banned. i am really grateful the mods here don't tolerate these statements.

much love to you @Shwhiskey Gumimaci. i appreciate your boldness and support you in every effort to regain your sense of safety.

wow that is extremly creepy about meeting him and what happend! and im sorry that for a while you thought that he was a good reflection of this website/travelers in general. but i hope you know folks like him do not speak for the majority of the community, that dudes is just a creepy bad apple.

 

[Dmac]

@freegander What? He had his van listed for sale on Craigslist, but claimed to not be selling when you showed up to see it? That's sketchy. I think an episode of Criminal Minds started like that. Good thing you did not buy into it.

 

[Desperado Deluxe]

Being a female on the road comes with constant harassment... Really? Thats some great publicity for women who are interested in this lifestyle. @Shwhiskey Gumimaci you ever think that how you conduct yourself might have something to do with how your treated? Do you think being super drunk all the time with your boobs falling out of your shirt whilst hanging out with all the schwilly fucks on decatur street is going to deter creepos? Yea i saw you in nola last mardi gras and i know that was last year but from the looks of it you havent changed. Im not coming to the defense of creepy assholes or anything in fact i probably hate them as much as anyone else but they exist none the less. Getting schwilly and fucked up all the time without any thought about who your with and whats going on is just irresponsible. This is the real world out here darlin and fucked up shit happens, its not some drainbow fantasy land where everything is all sugar plum fairy nonesense. You must be on your toes so good luck with that.

 

[freegander]

wow that is extremly creepy about meeting him and what happend! and im sorry that for a while you thought that he was a good reflection of this website/travelers in general. but i hope you know folks like him do not speak for the majority of the community, that dudes is just a creepy bad apple.

i hope so. but a lot of stuff on this forum makes me feel kinda weird, honestly. i guess that's to be expected from a site that is primarily male. and certainly this experience has colored my perception more than anything at the moment.

@freegander What? He had his van listed for sale on Craigslist, but claimed to not be selling when you showed up to see it? That's sketchy. I think an episode of Criminal Minds started like that. Good thing you did not buy into it.

nah, it's more complex than that. he had it listed here in the black market and was definitely going to sell it to me when i showed up. but i've never bought a vehicle before, so i said i wanted to buy it, i just need a bit to figure out insurance stuff, which ended up being a lot more complicated than i thought. about a week later, i posted a thread here about auto mechanics and how i wanted to learn more. the next day i ask him when i could buy the van and his reply was "you don't want the van." i was really confused but he was all patronizing, telling me that i wouldn't be able to deal with it when it breaks down and i should just buy a pop-up camper instead, arguing with me about what i really want. then he said "how about we go tandem and you hold my dog while i drive ".....to which i refused. haven't heard from him since.

 

[Kim Chee]

@Lightning Samurai, this isn't your opportunity to try to shame somebody else.

If you would like to create a thread about how to avoid letting alcohol cause a problem while on the road, that would be great.

 

[freegander]

Im not coming to the defense of creepy assholes or anything

actually, you are.

there are ways to say "be safe", without putting all the blame on the victim.

there are ways to encourage responsibility, without suggesting that a person deserves harassment.

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=how+not+to+victim+blame

 

[Shwhiskey Gumimaci]

Being a female on the road comes with constant harassment... Really? Thats some great publicity for women who are interested in this lifestyle. @Shwhiskey Gumimaci you ever think that how you conduct yourself might have something to do with how your treated? Do you think being super drunk all the time with your boobs falling out of your shirt whilst hanging out with all the schwilly fucks on decatur street is going to deter creepos? Yea i saw you in nola last mardi gras and i know that was last year but from the looks of it you havent changed. Im not coming to the defense of creepy assholes or anything in fact i probably hate them as much as anyone else but they exist none the less. Getting schwilly and fucked up all the time without any thought about who your with and whats going on is just irresponsible. This is the real world out here darlin and fucked up shit happens, its not some drainbow fantasy land where everything is all sugar plum fairy nonesense. You must be on your toes so good luck with that.

Dude I've never been to Mardi Gras. Last year I was in Alabama with my boyfriend. The first time I ever even went to Nola was this past November. The only time actually. Who the fuck are you anyways?

 

[Desperado Deluxe]

actually, you are.

there are ways to say "be safe", without putting all the blame on the victim.

there are ways to encourage responsibility, without suggesting that a person deserves harassment.

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=how+not+to+victim+blame

Sure i get it freak shit happens you get mugged, raped, what have you experience beyond your control. but when you repeatedly put yourself in a bad situation you must take at least some resposibility for yourself.
I dont believe anyone should be raped or abused but people who do that shit exist and its a fucking reality and steps should be taken to avoid that shit just like anything else.

 

[Desperado Deluxe]

Dude I've never been to Mardi Gras. Last year I was in Alabama with my boyfriend. The first time I ever even went to Nola was this past November. The only time actually. Who the fuck are you anyways?

It was probably wrong for me to assume but i honestly dont believe you. why do you want to know who i am if you werent there?

 

[EphemeralStick]

@Lightning Samurai

Probably because you antagonized her right off the bat before trying to confirm if she was the actual person you were thinking of?

Keep it civil.