I grew up in a meth house, moms & (insert whichever "stepdad" here) sold & used. Every Sunday my mom would always force us to go to church. It seemed more often than not, her and whichever guy she was with would get in a full blown fist fight in the front seat on the way to church. A lot of times she'd jump out of the passenger seat at a stop light and we'd of course follow. Call up grandma to come rescue us again, dude would smash out with the car. Sometimes we'd make it to church, but we were always late and stared at when entering. The whole assembly had judgment in their eyes, you could just feel it.
The whole ordeal really left a bad taste in my mouth for religion. I didn't like being forced into it and I also couldn't help but question how "real" the other Christians were when I could see plain as day how fake that shit was in my household. I ended up moving out of the house at fifteen to live in squats or parks with friends. The streets seemed like a better environment to grow up in than the meth house. Apparently that was some sort of wake-up call for my mom, who got clean shortly after I left.
When I still lived at home probably around the age of 14, I used to pray each night before bed. I remember so clearly the night I stopped myself mid prayer and questioned what in the actual fuck was I doing. I determined I was merely talking to myself, and had been since I could ever recall. If there was a "god", it certainly wasn't anything like I had been taught to believe. There was no old man up in the clouds who might fix my problems if I kept in touch with him and continued asking for some help.
Nearly three decades have passed and my take on it now is more or less the same. What I believe now, is that we're energy. I mean that's science, we can actually prove that. I'm pretty sure(not a scientist) that energy cannot just cease to be. Energy cannot just come to a full stop, it would somehow have to transfer or be used in some other way. So I think about our bodies, and what happens when we're buried. Our bodies decay, but there's still a lot of fuel there that surely ends up somewhere else.
I can imagine mycelium and roots slowly working their way down into the coffin, tapping into our decaying bodies and then using what's left to feed what's growing above. Mushrooms growing up on the surface, trees growing cones, nuts & seeds using some of my body's energy. Squirrels eating those nuts, using it for their energy. Birds eating the seeds, even down to the ants eating leaves. Tiny bits of my energy carry on, somewhere. Even when a person is cremated and all the organic carbon based matter is destroyed, the bones left behind are pulverized into powder and usually scattered somewhere in the wilderness. Bone meal provides phosphorus and calcium to plants, great energy to build life with.
That's plenty of afterlife for me, I don't need to see my dead relatives again for ever and ever. That sounds great for a little while, but forever and ever? No thanks, I get tired of some of them now after only a couple days being around them. As far as what other people practice, I couldn't care less what a person believes as long as they're causing no harm to others. If believing in Jesus somehow helps you to be a better version of yourself, well then by all means get your Jesus on. Historically, religion has caused immeasurable amounts of bloodshed and continues to today. That's where I begin to have a problem with the whole thing. I think spirituality should be kept personal, not forced on others in any way.