When is suicide okay?

[daveycrockett]

To be clear I do not need help or want to die today.
When is suicide ok? Being poor on the road kinda blows. If you've seen every road and done everything you want to do/see. Sometimes have a home or people sometimes not but usually end up on the street.

When you have everything then lose it all usually in a short time period or even a day starting out on streets is harder until you get used to it. There'd be times where you just wanna die barely putting one foot in front of the other on some interstate but you don't and looking back glad you didn't because your in a good place at the moment.

I think coming from a home life and losing it all which has happened many times it's very difficult to start on the road just putting yourself out there hoping you'll find something. Some people never get up or away from being homeless,I wonder if it'd be better that way not knowing. Better to have loved and lost than never at all?

Been hitchiking since teens I'm 43 this week so over 25 years that's all i know to fall back on being out as a young person with no real family. Hitching to the next job or new start but when you've traveled every road upside down backwards and forwards fucked eaten drank smoked whatever everything it's like ah been there done that not interesting anymore.

Thought about other countries but my 43 is alot older than the number. Im fuckin tired. Not depressed just fuckin tired like been there done that. Not scared to die just same shit over and over and 8ts not worth whatever positive comes from "traveling" compared to the negative.

Done my job 28 years in every state every road too. It's like what else is there? Pretty sure I have to start thumbing and being out coming from New England in shorts on short notice in like a day or 2 heading towards the 10. I'll make it hopefully but really don't want to anymore. I'm older and just had enough. I used to buy a bunch of alcohol every day for years and live it like it was my last doing everything that was good people places and things with 5he plan to get real drunk and hop in front of the train but would get a good buzz meet people and wake up in the am like fuck!

Lotta times it was so bad for years I'd pray to god to not wake up in the am. Would never hotshot for a way out cuz I don't want to die from street drugs or do them really, hard shit. Other ways are messy and hurtor take fucking balls. Some states have assisted but only if your terminal. Idk just wanted to hear someone relate or learn with this post. And if you feel like you don't want to do it anymore is it ok?

If I ever did id just worry about reincarnation coming back as parasite or yuppy or some shit.
Again I don't need any cops agency or big brother. Just talking here. And if I did do it itd be for a good cause to change the world by kamikaze ING my life. Least I could say I really did something.

Ya know when they ask how you died or what did he ever do beyond my work and awesome travel stories. I don't want it to be lame or some shit. There's a lot to touch on here would love to hear what people in my similar situation have to say/think about it.

Been homebody 3 years now besides hotels with my work and get real bored/understimulated being around inside folk the a to b everyday people. When im in I want to be out and 9ut in. Grass is always greener I swear. This post rambles a bit but 8m not 0ro9freading or whatever.

 

[roughdraft]

that is 'the' real serious question.

If you're really at that point, i encourage you to not use the age thing as a reason to not travel abroad. I read your whole message and thats what stood out to me as a reservation. Go down to Mexico or something, just keep exploring if that's all you can do. we're all gonna die anyway. There's always somethin new, but our heads try to convince us otherwise, especially when it's not convenient. Best wishes for you

 

[Coywolf]

Edited original post to add paragraph breaks for easier reading.

Suicide is a personal choice, and it shouldn't be illegal, or looked upon as an action of 'weakness' or 'hopelessness'. But is should be the last option....after the last option has been tried, and everyone should be encouraged to try other avenues before taking their own life.

There is always something else to try/see. Fuck, you could try being a housie. Go into venture capitalism /s.

I would love to comment on this more, but im not n the best mental state myself traveling right now, so I'll refrain.

 

[transcendentalhobo]

that is 'the' real serious question.

If you're really at that point, i encourage you to not use the age thing as a reason to not travel abroad. I read your whole message and thats what stood out to me as a reservation. Go down to Mexico or something, just keep exploring if that's all you can do. we're all gonna die anyway. There's always somethin new, but our heads try to convince us otherwise, especially when it's not convenient. Best wishes for you

Second this, there should maybe be a thread for middle aged Travelers who have been at it a while on here. Is there one and am I just missing it? Might as well start a new one anyways because sifting through the long, old threads can be kind of a drag!

 

[ali]

One of the reasons i am happy to hold on to Canadian citizenship even though i don't have any roots there is because of their enlightened approach to assisted dying. I want that option to always be available to me. It's inhumane to me that some countries make it difficult for people who do not want to go on living to end their lives with dignity, and appalling that some religions and cultures treat it as a sin. How can anyone lead a free life if they don't also have freedom to choose how and when to end it?

That said, although i believe all people should have the freedom to choose how to end their life, i also think that in a lot of cases suicidal ideation is not equal to suicidal intent, and suicidal intent does not always need to be permanent. I speak as someone who has explicitly attempted suicide in the past and also engaged in self-destructive behaviors that consciously or unconsciously went in that direction. To be sure, i really wanted to die at certain times in my life, or at least i thought it wouldn't matter if i did... But somehow i didn't, and now i'm glad i didn't.

I can't speak for your ennui. I think all travelers have a little bit of it, because often that's the trigger for us to wander in the first place. But everyone has different limits, different life experiences, different contexts. Sometimes you get to a point and think "well, this is it, seen and done it all and it's not ever gonna change, so why bother?" For some people the "why bother" is because they have family or friends or other personal connections that encourage them to stick it out. For other people they have a bucket list of arbitrary shit they want to do before they kick it. I'm not sure what it is for me. God knows i spend a lot more of my life doing nothing exciting in particular than i do feeling present and engaged. But also i have made peace with the fact that this is part of getting old, and getting old is part of a deeper human truth.

I have accepted that there is nothing new under the sun, that no matter where i go or what i do i'm always gonna have a bit of curmudgeonly "been there, done that" attitude. I know the youth are going to roll their eyes or resent me for it, and it's going to take them 20-30 years till they understand. But, somehow, i find comfort in that. I like visiting places where you can see remnants of ancient culture - temples, ruins, petroglyphs, you name it... And i think to myself, holy shit, there was some guy, just like me, 2000 years ago, looking at exactly the same thing i am, thinking about another guy, 2000 years before him. Human civilization goes back tens of thousands of years. We have been farming and building and traveling for much longer than any individual country, city, culture or religion will survive. The only constant is we keep on going. We keep on going and we keep on telling stories. To me, that's awesome. It makes me feel part of something epic and magnificent. Maybe one day we will make it to the stars, and my shitty life will have been a tiny part of that. To me, that's cool, that makes it worth sticking around a bit longer.

For you, could be something different.

 

[Big George W]

wow... this thread comes at a time where just last week I convinced a good friend of mine who just admitted to me that he tried to commit suicide 4x this years alone to openly discuss this with his family, and seek some serious help.

he's like at least 20 years younger than me, as I'm 58 closing in on 59 come springtime.

it was one of the most difficult things I had to do, but when a friend who's a brother is in trouble, you do what it takes to help them out, and I got lucky as he did what I asked/suggested, and is feeling really good about it [getting help...]

my own views on suicide, you better be right because there ain't no coming back, no second chance.

when my love Leslie committed suicide in our bed back in Feb of 1996, that changed my life forever because I knew that - after seeing her in the hospital on the table shortly after she passed, I knew that death was absolute.

to my surprise, the doctor told me that they tried everything they could, but in the end she got what she wanted.

that stayed with me for a long time.

Ali is correct about Canada, and I greatly admire how citizenship was obtained without any direct connection if I understood that right.

for a while, I was definately in a dark place, and saying goodbye to me dog Loki at age 15 and a half only made matters worse, but I got out of it.

today I feel great, knowing that I control my life, nobody else... and that I can never be forced to do anything I do not agree with.
but the big thing is knowing that I am an individual, that I am I....

that totally straightened me out, along with a deep interest in buddhist teachings.

so, when is suicide ok ??

personally, I'm not sure if it ever is - but - that being said, I am a staunch supporter of the kind and gentle people at

The Completed Life Initiative


so, when I made the call to Final Journey to have my dog receive gentle assitance in order to help her cross the Rainbow Bridge without additional suffering, I felt that this was a great act of love and compassion.

as a human being, I would hope that should I be in such a state where suffering is becoming quite apparent, that the same option could be exercised by me for me as well.

but suicide ??
no way.... not me.

life is too short as it is, last thing I would want to do is make it shorter.

 

[SuperFluous]

Sounds complicated but it's not the answer is never, the delusion that death serves a purpose other than death is redundant at best.
I just set myself on fire Oh No now should I shoot myself to end my pain maybe, it's a circle jerk at best.

 

[saul]

Never

 

[Inhibition]

I fully believe in the right to die, with no further qualifications necessary other than our own right to choose. The state should never own our lives and bodies and doing so is one of the largest oversteps on personal freedom and human rights possible. In my state assisted suicide is legal in cases of life terminal illness where life is expected to end within 6 months, but I support the right regardless for all adults.

I'm giving this year serious consideration myself as my final. I have a few more things to try, and depending on outcomes it will influence my decision. For people who are middle aged like us, we have had a lot of time to think about things. It isn't about making rash decisions. We can weigh the pros and cons and we know our life circumstance and the world around us better than anyone else.

 

[DreadForest]

suicidal ideation is not equal to suicidal intent,

This. So much this. I have a medical condition known as PMDD, which makes my brain do this weird thing where I spend a week every month actively wishing to die. I've planned my death so many times it's stupid. But the thing about that is that it passes. And if I get three weeks a month of dancing and writing and learning and being able to help other people get through their shit in exchange for my week of misery, I'll take it. Why? Because I'm an atheist. This is all there is. There's no Heaven or any of that bullshit, so I have to do what I can while I'm here.

I cannot speak for anyone's else choice. It's your life, you do what you want with it. I will say that anyone over the age of 25 should have the right to decide for themselves what to do with their own life (25 is not arbitrary, it's the age at which the adult wiring of the brain is complete, which gives late bloomers a chance to grow out of the last burst of teen angst). However, I do think there's a caveat to that, which is this: compos mentis. You must be of sound mind in order to make that decision. If you're drunk and you decide to die, that decision is void because you're impaired. High? Same thing. Psychotic? Sorry. Either ride it out or take the pills and wait until you rejoin collective reality. If you decide that the world we share sucks that bad once you're back in it, have at it.

 

[Beegod Santana]

I don't really think it's ever "okay." If you're living with endless pain that even powerful opiates won't help I wouldn't blame you for it though.

Anything other than that specific situation tho, you're kinda being a selfish jerk. Even if you have absolutely no one in your life, someone still has to mop up after your ass. I've had a few jobs where coming across dead bodies was somewhat an inevitability. You kinda get used to it after a while, but it still takes a toll on you. There's a reason so many vets suffer from ptsd.

 

[DreadForest]

I don't really think it's ever "okay." If you're living with endless pain that even powerful opiates won't help I wouldn't blame you for it though.

Anything other than that specific situation tho, you're kinda being a selfish jerk. Even if you have absolutely no one in your life, someone still has to mop up after your ass. I've had a few jobs where coming across dead bodies was somewhat an inevitability. You kinda get used to it after a while, but it still takes a toll on you. There's a reason so many vets suffer from ptsd.

I have a question about this, which you may know the answer to. Are people in the military given any sort of training or counselling for dealing with bodies, or expected to acclimatize on their own? I know that the transit workers union where I live has a substantial fund to pay for counselling to help subway drivers who happen to be on duty when someone decides jumping on the tracks is better than going to work. I think that's got to be literally the rudest possible way to die, traumatizing someone who was just doing their job.

 

[t500k]

I think personally every individual has the right to decide what's best for their spiritual wellbeing. If on a spiritual level you feel like your done with this place that's fine. On a personal level for me I'm so done with this place, but spiritually I feel like if I were to take my life I would be resetting the teachings that my soul has learned on this plane to carry forward to my next life.

I just view this place as a training grounds for whatever the hell comes next, if your ready to move on and take the next step; Then I'll see you in the next life. In the grand scheme of things, this beautiful rare experience is just a blimp in a much larger machine.

Good luck out there friend.

 

[daveycrockett]

Second this, there should maybe be a thread for middle aged Travelers who have been at it a while on here. Is there one and am I just missing it? Might as well start a new one anyways because sifting through the long, old threads can be kind of a drag!

Middle aged? Like from the 1900s middle ages. Yeah no

 

[DreadForest]

I just view this place as a training grounds for whatever the hell comes next, if your ready to move on and take the next step; Then I'll see you in the next life. In the grand scheme of things, this beautiful rare experience is just a blimp in a much larger machine.

Good luck out there friend.

Ugh. All that next life crap is an excuse not to take care of this planet and these people. There is no next life or next world. TAKE CARE OF THIS ONE.

 

[t500k]

Ugh. All that next life crap is an excuse not to take care of this planet and these people. There is no next life or next world. TAKE CARE OF THIS ONE.

Maybe, maybe not we will never know. But I agree its better to be grounded and fully involved with this life that matters and the impact we can have on other people and communities.