When is suicide okay?

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To be clear I do not need help or want to die today.
When is suicide ok? Being poor on the road kinda blows. If you've seen every road and done everything you want to do/see. Sometimes have a home or people sometimes not but usually end up on the street.

When you have everything then lose it all usually in a short time period or even a day starting out on streets is harder until you get used to it. There'd be times where you just wanna die barely putting one foot in front of the other on some interstate but you don't and looking back glad you didn't because your in a good place at the moment.

I think coming from a home life and losing it all which has happened many times it's very difficult to start on the road just putting yourself out there hoping you'll find something. Some people never get up or away from being homeless,I wonder if it'd be better that way not knowing. Better to have loved and lost than never at all?

Been hitchiking since teens I'm 43 this week so over 25 years that's all i know to fall back on being out as a young person with no real family. Hitching to the next job or new start but when you've traveled every road upside down backwards and forwards fucked eaten drank smoked whatever everything it's like ah been there done that not interesting anymore.

Thought about other countries but my 43 is alot older than the number. Im fuckin tired. Not depressed just fuckin tired like been there done that. Not scared to die just same shit over and over and 8ts not worth whatever positive comes from "traveling" compared to the negative.

Done my job 28 years in every state every road too. It's like what else is there? Pretty sure I have to start thumbing and being out coming from New England in shorts on short notice in like a day or 2 heading towards the 10. I'll make it hopefully but really don't want to anymore. I'm older and just had enough. I used to buy a bunch of alcohol every day for years and live it like it was my last doing everything that was good people places and things with 5he plan to get real drunk and hop in front of the train but would get a good buzz meet people and wake up in the am like fuck!

Lotta times it was so bad for years I'd pray to god to not wake up in the am. Would never hotshot for a way out cuz I don't want to die from street drugs or do them really, hard shit. Other ways are messy and hurtor take fucking balls. Some states have assisted but only if your terminal. Idk just wanted to hear someone relate or learn with this post. And if you feel like you don't want to do it anymore is it ok?

If I ever did id just worry about reincarnation coming back as parasite or yuppy or some shit.
Again I don't need any cops agency or big brother. Just talking here. And if I did do it itd be for a good cause to change the world by kamikaze ING my life. Least I could say I really did something.

Ya know when they ask how you died or what did he ever do beyond my work and awesome travel stories. I don't want it to be lame or some shit. There's a lot to touch on here would love to hear what people in my similar situation have to say/think about it.

Been homebody 3 years now besides hotels with my work and get real bored/understimulated being around inside folk the a to b everyday people. When im in I want to be out and 9ut in. Grass is always greener I swear. This post rambles a bit but 8m not 0ro9freading or whatever.

I don't know if you're looking for a happy afterlife, but you may consider this stance on Heaven; even though Wikipedia says other thing in general now, when I was growing up, I heard that in Celtic mythology, a fairy ring would take you to a Heaven where fairies lived; and you could be in this place, and keep your body, while you were alive.

I read this other story about how this old traveler who had been everywhere on the planet was laying in a bed, ready to die; and a nun came in; he grabbed her, and said, "show me something, anything."
This is supposed to be a popular issue with very well traveled people. You get to the point where there are few new places to go and stuff to try. I think what the traveler was asking the nun was to share with him the connection she had to the divine, that kept her going. He may have been hoping, however, for a miracle.

A lot of people just never go out of their way to look for divinity. It's seen as being unrealistic, and someone who does so seems to have "their head in the clouds." However an old gay guy in the bible belt said to me, when I asked him for dating advice, "you just have to put yourself out there."
Now, you may be heteroromantic, but I think this is still relevant, if about something other than being gay. He had to believe that something that seemed impossible considering where he lived at was going to occur, and it did. Other old men were all over him whenever I saw him.
That's just like praying for a miracle, which, whenever I pray to be saved from suicide or depression, I feel better almost immediately afterward (of course, I try praying to heavenly figures who may seem to be available to perform one,) or just going out looking for evidence. You have to put yourself out there, because once you've experienced it, you will know how to return to it again and again.

Just consider for a moment if; your goal is a positive afterlife, that you could be alive if you tend your sense of wonder, and really be there. You may be dissatisfied with places you've been that were religious centers, but as a traveler, have you been yet to Tikal or Lalibela? Supposing that there is a remaining lifetime there for you to find out what you're looking for if you're actually there.

On maybe a less mercurial point, I don't know how common it is to find other people who are interested, but when I had a PC, and I lived way out in rural America, I used to play a game where me and my buddies would philosophize about physics involving ancient miracles, such as the Krishna cleaving Saubha in half, and the fairy ring. I loved to play this game at this point because I was competitive about my flamboyant imagination and philosophy (which I often used in place of education.) I had one friend who played who would claim he was an Ivy League student at Harvard, Oxford, or Yale; some such place. We would claim how our characters could fold space or manipulate energy. I would talk over his head sometimes, and he would claim he was going off to talk to his physics professor about it, and told me what he supposedly said. I was nobody; I had no money, and I had dropped out of public education, but I had this friend who respected me greatly and called me one of the best storytelling philosophers. That's just like Fairy Princess (the gay guy) and his bible belt suitors. It may seem impossible that I could have a friend like that, but I just believe that I did.

Now, you don't need to play this kind of game to talk about an entertaining theory, but there's one thing that may tide you over until the truth becomes apparent (and maybe even some kind of monk or nun does this, maybe a Hassidist.)
Just consider how there could be physics behind this maybe bizarre trend of mycopeic vehicular investigation and you may find you have an open mind that allows you to be involved in that study on medical optimism.

Then, you may find that you were looking for it all along, and second guessing your will to live was due to injury that there was an end of. I mean, haven't you ever heard some nerd say, "I'm in pain?" He may seem to be in no physical pain. It could very well be an injury. It may seem that you have this in common with him.