Hi, my name is Kim. I'm almost 58 years old and at a breaking point. I feel I have two choices - end everything or run away. I need to try to finally have a life of my own. A life where I'm not being abused or taken advantage of by people who are supposed to love and/or have some kind of respect for me.
I had a tough childhood and because of this, I've had a tough adulthood. Since I was a child, due to my mother's abuse, I've always felt like a misfit. Due to feeling like a misfit I kept to myself & had poor communication skills with others, which in turn left me to my own devices in figuring out life. I've always given credit to the few people in my life who I've termed showed me "quiet compassionate love". This is what enabled me to form a decent amount of morals and values. I thought if I worked hard and did the right thing, I would eventually succeed & fit into society, but it's difficult to succeed as a low income woman raising 3 children on her own while feeling like a misfit, having poor communication skills and trying to balance your parental and financial responsibilities. Needless to say, I didn't succeed very much in the workforce or as a parent. I've learned over the years that most of Corporate America will take advantage of their employees through low pay and setting things up where employees feel obligated to work overtime without pay. They will continually throw away the very people who have dedicated themselves to their companies through layoffs and closing their doors primarily due to greed. They are tied to the political arena just so they can establish laws to cover their butts (I learned this when my 16 year old son was killed by a train that wasn't adequately gated) and if you try to push them a bit into doing the right thing, they will black ball you and know they can get away with whatever they want to do in order to force you to leave. I’ve seen them use others as scape goats to cover their butts and throw away good guys just to keep the ones they deem “more valuable” to them. My current position at work is one that our large company seems to only hire women to fill. I worked this position without any paid time off, holiday pay or benefits. I worked through breaks, through my lunches and past quitting time, with strict rules there was no overtime. The pay was so little; I had to sell a decent vehicle to get rent money. After 2 1/2 years they forced the lady I was meant to replace into retirement and hired me. A year ago after doing a very good job in this position for 5 years, I tried to get into a better position which they were not happy about because my position is hard to fill and they mostly hire men into their sales positions. But I pushed by asking them if they were telling me that there wasn't room for advancement in my position, which in turn has left me experiencing things that have me questioning if they are trying to force me out. As of now, I’ve now trained my replacement and I’ve been training for a sales position. They now want to put me in the hot warehouse on the pretense that it will help me to learn more about our product in order to get into a sales position, when the truth is, like many of the salesmen, I’m learning more about our product by selling at our counter and selling to our established customers. So now I have a choice of taking my almost 58 year old self with a heart condition in the warehouse to pick and pull orders where in the summer will be over 100 degrees, I can look for another job and start all over again or I can do what I’ve been wanting to do for years now and live off the grid. My will and determination to keep chiseling away at things has turned into the realization that I will never have a halfway decent life of my own where I can enjoy a few things in life. For the past several years my desire has been to get away from Corporate America and get away from the family who has little respect for me, makes self-serving poor choices in life, drains me of the little bit of extra money I have, expects me to house them and be their child care. I want to learn how I can escape and retire from all this. I don't want to live off handouts. As hard as it was, I've used little financial assistance over the years. Family suspicions are that when my leg was broken at 6 months old, my mother was “being too rough with me”. So when I say my life has been difficult for almost 58 years, I mean latterly since I was born and I’m tired of investing in things that obviously aren't paying off. I want to live off the grid and be self-sufficient on my own and have more control over my life. I'm looking for advice on how I could do this.
I had a tough childhood and because of this, I've had a tough adulthood. Since I was a child, due to my mother's abuse, I've always felt like a misfit. Due to feeling like a misfit I kept to myself & had poor communication skills with others, which in turn left me to my own devices in figuring out life. I've always given credit to the few people in my life who I've termed showed me "quiet compassionate love". This is what enabled me to form a decent amount of morals and values. I thought if I worked hard and did the right thing, I would eventually succeed & fit into society, but it's difficult to succeed as a low income woman raising 3 children on her own while feeling like a misfit, having poor communication skills and trying to balance your parental and financial responsibilities. Needless to say, I didn't succeed very much in the workforce or as a parent. I've learned over the years that most of Corporate America will take advantage of their employees through low pay and setting things up where employees feel obligated to work overtime without pay. They will continually throw away the very people who have dedicated themselves to their companies through layoffs and closing their doors primarily due to greed. They are tied to the political arena just so they can establish laws to cover their butts (I learned this when my 16 year old son was killed by a train that wasn't adequately gated) and if you try to push them a bit into doing the right thing, they will black ball you and know they can get away with whatever they want to do in order to force you to leave. I’ve seen them use others as scape goats to cover their butts and throw away good guys just to keep the ones they deem “more valuable” to them. My current position at work is one that our large company seems to only hire women to fill. I worked this position without any paid time off, holiday pay or benefits. I worked through breaks, through my lunches and past quitting time, with strict rules there was no overtime. The pay was so little; I had to sell a decent vehicle to get rent money. After 2 1/2 years they forced the lady I was meant to replace into retirement and hired me. A year ago after doing a very good job in this position for 5 years, I tried to get into a better position which they were not happy about because my position is hard to fill and they mostly hire men into their sales positions. But I pushed by asking them if they were telling me that there wasn't room for advancement in my position, which in turn has left me experiencing things that have me questioning if they are trying to force me out. As of now, I’ve now trained my replacement and I’ve been training for a sales position. They now want to put me in the hot warehouse on the pretense that it will help me to learn more about our product in order to get into a sales position, when the truth is, like many of the salesmen, I’m learning more about our product by selling at our counter and selling to our established customers. So now I have a choice of taking my almost 58 year old self with a heart condition in the warehouse to pick and pull orders where in the summer will be over 100 degrees, I can look for another job and start all over again or I can do what I’ve been wanting to do for years now and live off the grid. My will and determination to keep chiseling away at things has turned into the realization that I will never have a halfway decent life of my own where I can enjoy a few things in life. For the past several years my desire has been to get away from Corporate America and get away from the family who has little respect for me, makes self-serving poor choices in life, drains me of the little bit of extra money I have, expects me to house them and be their child care. I want to learn how I can escape and retire from all this. I don't want to live off handouts. As hard as it was, I've used little financial assistance over the years. Family suspicions are that when my leg was broken at 6 months old, my mother was “being too rough with me”. So when I say my life has been difficult for almost 58 years, I mean latterly since I was born and I’m tired of investing in things that obviously aren't paying off. I want to live off the grid and be self-sufficient on my own and have more control over my life. I'm looking for advice on how I could do this.
