Raging Bird
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- Apr 10, 2007
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This destinations section RULES, there's nothing I hate more than going to a new city and feeling like I just can't find what it has to offer. Everyone should tell everyone else everything they know about their city, then we can all have more fun when we go places. Without further ado...
A DESTINATION TOUR OF RICHMOND:
Belle Isle = big island in the middle of the james river where people swim and hang out on rocks. Great for end of the world bonfire parties on south side at night and death defying UE trips to the abandoned hydroelectric plant. Hosts slaughterama every spring which is why you probably know about it already.
cool other islands: go to brown's isle and walk under the tressels where the rope swing hangs from. keep walking and you'll hit some woods, walk down the path along the water and you'll come to a cement canal walk, take it to the end and climb up the ladder then walk over to the railroad tracks suspended over the water. Walk along those for a few cool spots with nice graffiti and good fishing spots. Once you get to the other side, you can get up on the canal walk to get to some outdoor rock climbing walls (I know wtf?) or keep going to get to the Railroad Museum, which is only open on weekends. If you get to semmes ave it's kind of cool just because it's SO abandoned main street and it's easy to pretend you're in zombie apocalypse movie.
James Lookout: Find out where laurel street is and take it straight to the end, through all of oregon hill. Oregon hill is an oldass white working class neighborhood where the church used to be run by the KKK and the flagpole in front of leo's house had a confederate flag on it until like fucking 1998 or something. Anyway at the end of laurel there used to be an AWESOME treehouse in teh tree next to the bench, but they tore it down. Here is a nice place to get a view of the james and of some graves, which are nice, especially if you're on drugs and it's the last day of summer. You can get drunk at the base of the overlook circle and nobody will fuck with you, you'll see it when you get there.
The Secret Jungle BMX course: I found this when I was on acid and I ran off alone and nobody believed me; they thought I was just on acid. Anyway, it's the best way to sneak into hollywood cemetery right before sunrise, which is the best time to go to hollywood cemetery. Go down the little drive only known as OREGON HILL DRIVE then take the stairs of death down to the path, take a left and follow it towards the train tracks but loop around that weird chain link fence to the right to get on to the bike path. Follow the path along the cemetery fence, but look constantly to the right side. After roughly 150 feet or so you will see a VERY small dirt path leading up a hill, obscured by the shrubbery. This path will lead to a clearing that looks like the kind of place middle schoolers would hang out after school in a movie or something; you know like Stand By Me or some shit. There's a bunch of ramps someone made for BMXing, and a barbed wire fence separating you from the dead guys. Fortunately, the Tree of Life stands on their side, and reaches its helpful arms over the fence, making it easy to climb up and over without fucking with any barbs. Now you're in hollywood cemetery.
Hollywood Cemetery: OLD ASS CRAZY CEMETERY! Jefferson Davis, 2 or 3 presidents, and 30,000 confederate soldiers are buried here, as well as a number of random famous people. Once you get over that fence, run as fast as you can to the left, up the hill, and in between the two pillars; this is one of the coolest overlooks ever. Look for a giant pyramid (probably 8 or 9 million feet tall, at least) and there's a statue of a dog there. Ask someone to tell you the ghost story about the dog because everyone knows it. just go nuts in here, it's fun.
This is all pretty basic stuff but if you've never been here before it's good to see. I'm tired as hell so I'll put more later.
LATER...
Several more attractions include:
The House of Samuel Pleasant Parsons: Located at 601 Spring St, this place was seriously a stop on the underground railroad, where slaves would kick it in the basement, laughing it up at the plantation owners, probably on their way up from the Great Dismal Swamp where they all hid out in Southeast Virginia. Built in 1818 by a Quaker Abolitionist who I hear was actually a pretty nice guy. Easily accessed by going South on Laurel and taking a left on Spring.
Fine Food: recovering ghetto superette grocery store, 50% of their stock is alcohol and they are ahead of every other convenience store on the Richmond Alcohol Fad curve by like 6 weeks. Started carrying Joose, Four Loko, PBR 40s, ages before anyone else got to them, 30 cent can sodas and a nice cat that stands out front named Cat Morgan. Members-only porno dungeon behind the counter; fail to carry the most basic amenities needed for stocking a kitchen (e.g. vegetables and bread), but have entire aisles filled with the most useless bullshit ever like floppy discs from the 80s and replacement weed whacker strings. Across the parking lot from the Bone Zone (RIP). Good grilling spot for the homeless cliques of Oregon Hill. Go South on Laurel and take a left on idlewood, it's right there.
Flying Brick Library: 506 Pine St, closest thing to an infoshop except it's a guy's house. About 6 billion books, free internet, nice guys who know more about the folk history of richmond than I do. They have shows and movie screenings here from time to time - by no means a regular venue or anything but still cool to check out.
Vinyl Conflict Records: Located on Pine Street (maybe 400 block? I forgot), which is in between Laurel and Belvidere. Punk record store, locally owned and run, good selection, pretty cheap.
Richmond has a number of different neighborhoods, each with a different feel, spanning the full spectrum between "poor and white" to "poor and black". Most of the things above center around Oregon Hill, where there used to be a sign that said "WELCOME TO OREGON HILL - THAT BEST BE A TAN, SON". Bounded by Belvidere St. to the East, Cary St. to the North, and Hollywood Cemetery to the West, it used to be a hell of a lot bigger and used to house a large prison, until the Ethel Corporation bought up half of the neighborhood and tore it all down to make room for a giant croquet field or some shit. My neighbors said when they did this, all the rats fled across belvidere like in the subway tunnel in the movie Cloverfield, and they had a rat problem for like a year lol. That may be why there are so many damned stray cats in Oregon Hill, which legend has it are actually the reincarnated souls of dead homeless people...
If you go North on Belvidere, however, to the intersection with Broad St. (you should see Marshall and Clay after crossing Broad), you have Carver on the Left side of Belv. and Jackson Ward on the right. Jackson Ward is an old middle class black neighborhood, currently blossoming into a middle class college student neighborhood. They used to call it the "Harlem of the South" because it was a cultural center for black people in the 30s - 50s, I guess. It's tight to walk around because they really haven't bulldozed that much, there's a shitton of abandoned buildings showing you how vibrant and glorious it used to be. I don't really have much to tell you about Carver other than the fact that there was a shitload of crackhouses there in the 90's, and now there's a couple of homeless celebrities due to the New Clay House.
Carver:
Big's Tower: For some damn reason, they made a bunch of student-priced housing on the 1000 block of W. Marshall St. and put a water tower on the roof. You'll know the building because there are gigantic glass windows facing the street basically from the sidewalk up with metal window panes and a strange handrail. Look for amateur grafitti that says "antidisestablishmentarianism", I used to tag that in sharpie when I got drunk. To get up on the water tower go around back and look for a telephone pole with ladder rungs sticking out the sides starting about 6 feet up. Pull up a trashcan and climb up that fucker to hop on to the roof. You can walk over and climb up the water tower to be sort of high up if you need a place to go to make out with a girl or be on 2ci or something. This has always worked for me in the past.
Weasel: Homeless guy with Muscular Dystrophy that only affects the right half of his body, has 7 bachelor's degrees and KNOWS EVERYTHING. Talks like Ignatius Riley from A Confederacy of Dunces and sits on the board of directors for a number of homeless outreach organizations...don't be turned off when he shittalks the cigarettes he bums from you, I could listen to him talk for hours, look around for a skinnyass 80 year old with a long white beard.
Billy: Homeless guy who steals baby squirrels out of the nest in infancy, trains them throughout their childhood, and will have them do tricks for spare change.
Jackson Ward:
Resist Leme Building: 12 W. Leigh St, a good abandoned building to get on top of to see the city from a birds-eye view and a good place to sleep in the Summer. Dramatic view during sunset, good for drinking beer - may work for liquor too, i have never tested. From Broad and Belvidere, go north on Belvidere (away from college) , take a right on Leigh, continue to 1st st, I think? Look for tall building that has grafitti saying RESIST LEME. Go around back, there is a fire escape leading up to a ladder leading up to a roof.
King's Fish: 12 E. Marshall St. Good for cheapass hot meal - something like 3.15 for fish sandwich, fries, and a soda or lemonade. Follow above directions but take a right on Marshall instead of Leigh.
J Ward is hella historic, look around, it's all tight.
More later maybe.
A DESTINATION TOUR OF RICHMOND:
Belle Isle = big island in the middle of the james river where people swim and hang out on rocks. Great for end of the world bonfire parties on south side at night and death defying UE trips to the abandoned hydroelectric plant. Hosts slaughterama every spring which is why you probably know about it already.
cool other islands: go to brown's isle and walk under the tressels where the rope swing hangs from. keep walking and you'll hit some woods, walk down the path along the water and you'll come to a cement canal walk, take it to the end and climb up the ladder then walk over to the railroad tracks suspended over the water. Walk along those for a few cool spots with nice graffiti and good fishing spots. Once you get to the other side, you can get up on the canal walk to get to some outdoor rock climbing walls (I know wtf?) or keep going to get to the Railroad Museum, which is only open on weekends. If you get to semmes ave it's kind of cool just because it's SO abandoned main street and it's easy to pretend you're in zombie apocalypse movie.
James Lookout: Find out where laurel street is and take it straight to the end, through all of oregon hill. Oregon hill is an oldass white working class neighborhood where the church used to be run by the KKK and the flagpole in front of leo's house had a confederate flag on it until like fucking 1998 or something. Anyway at the end of laurel there used to be an AWESOME treehouse in teh tree next to the bench, but they tore it down. Here is a nice place to get a view of the james and of some graves, which are nice, especially if you're on drugs and it's the last day of summer. You can get drunk at the base of the overlook circle and nobody will fuck with you, you'll see it when you get there.
The Secret Jungle BMX course: I found this when I was on acid and I ran off alone and nobody believed me; they thought I was just on acid. Anyway, it's the best way to sneak into hollywood cemetery right before sunrise, which is the best time to go to hollywood cemetery. Go down the little drive only known as OREGON HILL DRIVE then take the stairs of death down to the path, take a left and follow it towards the train tracks but loop around that weird chain link fence to the right to get on to the bike path. Follow the path along the cemetery fence, but look constantly to the right side. After roughly 150 feet or so you will see a VERY small dirt path leading up a hill, obscured by the shrubbery. This path will lead to a clearing that looks like the kind of place middle schoolers would hang out after school in a movie or something; you know like Stand By Me or some shit. There's a bunch of ramps someone made for BMXing, and a barbed wire fence separating you from the dead guys. Fortunately, the Tree of Life stands on their side, and reaches its helpful arms over the fence, making it easy to climb up and over without fucking with any barbs. Now you're in hollywood cemetery.
Hollywood Cemetery: OLD ASS CRAZY CEMETERY! Jefferson Davis, 2 or 3 presidents, and 30,000 confederate soldiers are buried here, as well as a number of random famous people. Once you get over that fence, run as fast as you can to the left, up the hill, and in between the two pillars; this is one of the coolest overlooks ever. Look for a giant pyramid (probably 8 or 9 million feet tall, at least) and there's a statue of a dog there. Ask someone to tell you the ghost story about the dog because everyone knows it. just go nuts in here, it's fun.
This is all pretty basic stuff but if you've never been here before it's good to see. I'm tired as hell so I'll put more later.
LATER...
Several more attractions include:
The House of Samuel Pleasant Parsons: Located at 601 Spring St, this place was seriously a stop on the underground railroad, where slaves would kick it in the basement, laughing it up at the plantation owners, probably on their way up from the Great Dismal Swamp where they all hid out in Southeast Virginia. Built in 1818 by a Quaker Abolitionist who I hear was actually a pretty nice guy. Easily accessed by going South on Laurel and taking a left on Spring.
Fine Food: recovering ghetto superette grocery store, 50% of their stock is alcohol and they are ahead of every other convenience store on the Richmond Alcohol Fad curve by like 6 weeks. Started carrying Joose, Four Loko, PBR 40s, ages before anyone else got to them, 30 cent can sodas and a nice cat that stands out front named Cat Morgan. Members-only porno dungeon behind the counter; fail to carry the most basic amenities needed for stocking a kitchen (e.g. vegetables and bread), but have entire aisles filled with the most useless bullshit ever like floppy discs from the 80s and replacement weed whacker strings. Across the parking lot from the Bone Zone (RIP). Good grilling spot for the homeless cliques of Oregon Hill. Go South on Laurel and take a left on idlewood, it's right there.
Flying Brick Library: 506 Pine St, closest thing to an infoshop except it's a guy's house. About 6 billion books, free internet, nice guys who know more about the folk history of richmond than I do. They have shows and movie screenings here from time to time - by no means a regular venue or anything but still cool to check out.
Vinyl Conflict Records: Located on Pine Street (maybe 400 block? I forgot), which is in between Laurel and Belvidere. Punk record store, locally owned and run, good selection, pretty cheap.
Richmond has a number of different neighborhoods, each with a different feel, spanning the full spectrum between "poor and white" to "poor and black". Most of the things above center around Oregon Hill, where there used to be a sign that said "WELCOME TO OREGON HILL - THAT BEST BE A TAN, SON". Bounded by Belvidere St. to the East, Cary St. to the North, and Hollywood Cemetery to the West, it used to be a hell of a lot bigger and used to house a large prison, until the Ethel Corporation bought up half of the neighborhood and tore it all down to make room for a giant croquet field or some shit. My neighbors said when they did this, all the rats fled across belvidere like in the subway tunnel in the movie Cloverfield, and they had a rat problem for like a year lol. That may be why there are so many damned stray cats in Oregon Hill, which legend has it are actually the reincarnated souls of dead homeless people...
If you go North on Belvidere, however, to the intersection with Broad St. (you should see Marshall and Clay after crossing Broad), you have Carver on the Left side of Belv. and Jackson Ward on the right. Jackson Ward is an old middle class black neighborhood, currently blossoming into a middle class college student neighborhood. They used to call it the "Harlem of the South" because it was a cultural center for black people in the 30s - 50s, I guess. It's tight to walk around because they really haven't bulldozed that much, there's a shitton of abandoned buildings showing you how vibrant and glorious it used to be. I don't really have much to tell you about Carver other than the fact that there was a shitload of crackhouses there in the 90's, and now there's a couple of homeless celebrities due to the New Clay House.
Carver:
Big's Tower: For some damn reason, they made a bunch of student-priced housing on the 1000 block of W. Marshall St. and put a water tower on the roof. You'll know the building because there are gigantic glass windows facing the street basically from the sidewalk up with metal window panes and a strange handrail. Look for amateur grafitti that says "antidisestablishmentarianism", I used to tag that in sharpie when I got drunk. To get up on the water tower go around back and look for a telephone pole with ladder rungs sticking out the sides starting about 6 feet up. Pull up a trashcan and climb up that fucker to hop on to the roof. You can walk over and climb up the water tower to be sort of high up if you need a place to go to make out with a girl or be on 2ci or something. This has always worked for me in the past.
Weasel: Homeless guy with Muscular Dystrophy that only affects the right half of his body, has 7 bachelor's degrees and KNOWS EVERYTHING. Talks like Ignatius Riley from A Confederacy of Dunces and sits on the board of directors for a number of homeless outreach organizations...don't be turned off when he shittalks the cigarettes he bums from you, I could listen to him talk for hours, look around for a skinnyass 80 year old with a long white beard.
Billy: Homeless guy who steals baby squirrels out of the nest in infancy, trains them throughout their childhood, and will have them do tricks for spare change.
Jackson Ward:
Resist Leme Building: 12 W. Leigh St, a good abandoned building to get on top of to see the city from a birds-eye view and a good place to sleep in the Summer. Dramatic view during sunset, good for drinking beer - may work for liquor too, i have never tested. From Broad and Belvidere, go north on Belvidere (away from college) , take a right on Leigh, continue to 1st st, I think? Look for tall building that has grafitti saying RESIST LEME. Go around back, there is a fire escape leading up to a ladder leading up to a roof.
King's Fish: 12 E. Marshall St. Good for cheapass hot meal - something like 3.15 for fish sandwich, fries, and a soda or lemonade. Follow above directions but take a right on Marshall instead of Leigh.
J Ward is hella historic, look around, it's all tight.
More later maybe.
