one more year... one more.. just one more... onemoreFUCKINGYEAR

M

Mouse

I deleted myself
I think I might snap before then.

one more year til probation is done
one more year til I get my license back
one more year til I'm done with school (kinda)
one more year til I finish my medical treatment (god willing it works)
one more year til I have enough money to get wheels

Dear STP people... help me keep my sanity! This purgatory seems like it will never end.



forgive me,but this feeling of clautsrophobic doom just won't go away.

a year is a long time to behave yourself and watch your every move and save every penny and work your ass off and not have any fun whatsoever.

/rant
 

RebeccaSoup

Newbie
Joined
Feb 13, 2009
Messages
100
Current Location
Places
I envy your responsibility. I'm somebodies mom and I cant even stay in one place for that long. No worries though... These months will fly. Recession is exciting.

Sit back and watch capitalism crash around you.
 

ray beez

Lurker
Joined
Apr 13, 2009
Messages
38
Current Location
verginny
i can relate to your fustration, i have to get shit done around here before i can leave to travel. i too have to get my license, move out of my parents place, and get mo monies. i can barely stand my job anymore, the weather is fucking beautiful and i want to go south with a passion, all the music festivals are happening, but i cant get off work to go to them. and my money is being sucked dry from various expenses. its a bitch, but i understand. im trying to keep myself busy with crafts and side projects, junk like that,but im still restless and find myself daydreaming about walking out of this town and not stopping till i get to texas. you'll make it through. it wont be too much longer till everything works itself out. good luck mouse!
 

Poe Boy

Newbie
Joined
Jan 18, 2009
Messages
63
Sounds contagious.

I kinda got fucked over by my family, left for broke, having 3, maybe 4 surgeries in the last year (have to go ion Aug 5th to see if I need a follow-up. If it goes like last year, I'll be in the hole until March paying the hospital bills, then I can START to unfuck my life.

I'm thinking about being a bastard about it this time. I get fucked bailing family out of their crises, and there's no sorrow, no remorse, no feeling of bad, just questions on why I don't do more for them. I think this time around I'm going to let them crash and burn and make sure I have my shit together in my life for once.
 
OP
M

Mouse

I deleted myself
i think I may be the one sucking the "life" out of my family. lol. I'm not exactly up to their standards. I've got a 4.0 and a full time job and I still get SHIT for getting drunk once in a while because I've had soem legal problems and I'm "sick". pfft assholes.

I try to get myself into projects but sometimes I just feel like it all so fucking pointless. I guess I'm just a lil bit in a rut or something. summer kinda gets that way. no classes and I get antsy and want to run.

but once I get all this shit worked out I'll be totally set for having my world back to how I want it. my family will probably want to kill me, again, buuut that's their issues not mine.

thanks for helping me feel not so alone in this hole. :) sometimes I get al bummed thinking about how my old friends are so far away and having grand old times hitching around and living the life. It gets to ya.

I do plan trips to see people every few months. something to anticipate helps the weeks pass. I'm going to best friends day next month. that's my next big venture. gonna get drunk at the river and forget I have a job for a few days :) :)
 

Angela

Wandering But Not Lost Yet
Joined
May 25, 2008
Messages
417
Hang in there, I may be guilty here of sounding like an old fart for saying this but a year really does pass awfully quick.
 
OP
M

Mouse

I deleted myself
you're right it really does BUT at times it just gets to be a bit much. mostly the constantly having to watch my back and live in fear that if I get in trouble the time will be that much longer that freaks me out. I feel like I should just lock myself ina room and pray until it's all over lol. I break the law on a daily basis when I ride my scooter to work.. I'm not legally able to drive ANYTHING but you gotta work, ya know?
 

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