Photos Meet Goldmember.

[PatchTwist]

Lords and Ladies, Wenches and Scallywags.
Allow me to introduce my new ship:
Goldmember.

I discovered her on the coast of the wild lands of Craigslist after months of fruitless exploration, mosquitoes, and shitting seagulls.
Worn yet still full of life and potential, I called for a parlay with her captain, a well off and mild mannered man with a healthy fancy for his wife and Hondas. After misplacing myself once or twice searching for his shack, I found my quarry tucked away just inside the forest.
After a rather awkward start, he graciously allowed me onboard his docked vessel so that I may inspect how sea worthy she was. A few dings, the remnants of small prisoners with a penchant for crayons, but all in all sturdy and sound.
A bargain was made. Three days hence, she would be mine.
And now, dear readers, at last. She. Is. Mine!

So, to cut a long story short, while shooting shit with my landlady/friend,for some reason I was struck with the urge to declare the van Goldmember. It just seemed fitting, somehow. Tomorrow begins the conversion process and getting my car, Hunk 'O Jink Jr., sold.
Sorry for the abrupt ending, but it is late and has been a very long day; my usual story telling skills aren't very up to par right now.
But, yeah, this is my new van. A 2001 Honda Odyssey that I got for a pretty good price. She will need some TLC, but all in all I think she'll work out just fine for my first van.

 

[Shwillam]

Fuckin sweet dude! Congrats

 

[Grubblin]

Great post! Very original.

 

[awkwardshelby]

You have successfully transitioned this vehicle from a soccer mom van to a fucking epic pirate ship just from talking about it. Can't wait to see it converted

 

[Tude]

Congratulations and an excellent write up Enjoy!

 

[PatchTwist]

Thanks, guys!
The process has begun! *que Mortal Combat theme*

 

[PatchTwist]

Hokay, so, here's Goldmember, chillin'. Dayum, that is a sweet van you might say...
Anyway, for anyone looking to build in one of these Hondas, I give you warning: the floors are fucking crazy uneven. So, first order of business for me was building the floor. So today, with massive amounts of improvising, the power of the Dark Side fueled by Revenge of the Fifth, and simply taking full advantage of a day not pouring Witch Melting agent, I did it. The pics are pretty self explanatory, but I'll sum a couple of them up anyway.
There is a seat well in the back for the fold down bench seat, and the top is the highest point in the van. Insert a large "START HERE" sign, and begin. By the time you're done you have a lovely hidey hole trunk to hide tools, your batteries, small children or midgets to sell, extra clothes, etc...
The space behind the front seats and where the spare tire is hidden (OF ALL FUCKING PLACES!!!) is the lowest point. So, as you can see in the pics, a pair of 2x4s to raise that and also make a slim storage space works just fine.
But to get to the tire, you will have to be able to open the floor like the mouth of a sea bass. And this is why Jesus invented hinges.
After the main floor and supports were build, depending on you preference you can leave it as is or cover it. I snagged the last of a clearance vinyl sheeting at Lowes and some carpet glue. Voila!! A floor to my liking is born!

 

[PatchTwist]

Captain Asshole at the wheel while First Mate Blu and I test how comfortable the floor is. We all approve.

 

[scntfc]

congrats in the van and awesome start on the foundation.