LETS TALK ABOUT RAPE!

[PinkLore]

Okay, so I got a long car ride and this shit has been on mind and it seems to be a fairly common subject, so I'm hoping this is a safe place to talk about it.
Ive been raped twice since I lost my van, and once when I still had it.

I refuse to look at myself to blame for these things happening. I dont know if I'm in the wrong place at the wrong time, or whatever the fuck.
I dont want to go into details about all the instances...but part of me is hoping other people experienced this and part of me hopes maybe its just my own misfortune.
I'm still trucking. But the last time it happened, it made me want to quit being on the road all together.

I dont want tips or precautions. I beat the shit out of the last kid who touched me. But its not just straight rape. Its all of the touching and inquiries. I'm fucking sick of it.

I'm still trucking! Still on the road! And I try to analyse every incident to keep it from ever happening. But to be totally honest you guys....sometimes I feel like saying fuck it.
.

Can we just have a venting sesh here? Can this forum be a safe place to confide these feelings?
Like I said, spare me the tips. Its insulting. Fuck your bear mace and knifes. I dont need a lesson. I just want to feel like I'm not alone.

 

[Deleted member 125]

yer deffinetly not alone. its not something that ive had alot of first hand experience with but i know its not as uncommon as alot of people would like to think it is. its a huge problem even in this small subculture. stay strong yo!

and of course stp is somewhere where you can freely talk about this kind of thing.

 

[PinkLore]

yer deffinetly not alone. its not something that ive had alot of first hand experience with but i know its not as uncommon as alot of people would like to think it is. its a huge problem even in this small subculture. stay strong yo!

and of course stp is somewhere where you can freely talk about this kind of thing.

⭐thanks man

 

[EphemeralStick]

My first sexual experience was when I was 15, I was raped by a guy in his mid twenties. After that I started going to more and more parties with older men where I'd get blackout drunk and wake up to someone inside me, this happened quite a bit.

I've been abducted for three days by a guy who slipped me meth and he kept me so spun out I couldn't get away from him until finally he ran out of drugs and I sobered up enough to get away.
I've been a victim of rape and sexual assault time and time again. I wish I could say that time of my life is over but even just last year in Austin a guy drugged me with some sort of opioid.

Everytime it happens it feels like a piece of myself gets taken from me. Again and again. It leaves a hollowness inside you that never really goes away.

I went to therapy, it helped tremendously but still that hole remains. I'm sorry that you too feel that emptiness. I wouldn't wish it on my worst of enemies.

You are not alone.

 

[junkpolecat99]

Everybody stay safe!!!!!

 

[Deleted member 16034]

I got drugged and raped at a party when I was 15, this guy tried driving me into the middle of a forest but I told him I had GPS on my cell phone (This was in the days that GPS on cell phones was super new and nobody was totally sure how they worked) so he stopped at some mini mart in the boonies and got a thirty rack of natty ice or some shit, said that store was the only place he knew that stocked them, then he turned around and took me to where I told him I lived. I walked two miles back home to find that my mom had locked me out of the house because she thought that I had just run away from home.

I was in a long-time off and on relationship with a well-ish known traveler (He's been mentioned on one of these forums, but I won't say which), he was super abusive. Convinced me that he had murdered seven people, told me that I was next. Told me he could kill me, hide my body, and be on a train out of town before anyone even knew I was missing. He also thought "No" meant "Try harder." A few women have come forward about his rape-y behaviour.

The lead singer of a folk punk band that swears they aren't a folk punk band sexually assaulted me in Seattle, the girl he was supposed to go off with actually lives in the same town as me now and every time I run into her I wonder what she knows, if anything at all.


Best way to avoid being sexually assaulted as a woman on the road, statistically speaking, is by forming a crew of anyone that isn't a straight man (Sorry straight men, but for real though). Grrl gangs are fucking awesome.

 

[RoadFlower33]

Rape. Tough subject. I personally don't like the topic. It' not anybodys fault but the person doing the raping. Honestly i would do my best to murder a motherfucker. Currently looking for one right now. I'm just not okay with it.

 

[junkpolecat99]

"Best way to avoid being sexually assaulted as a woman on the road, statistically speaking, is by forming a crew of anyone that isn't a straight man (Sorry straight men, but for real though). Grrl gangs are fucking awesome."


a gWEEDO frienz crew?

 

[Deleted member 16034]

"Best way to avoid being sexually assaulted as a woman on the road, statistically speaking, is by forming a crew of anyone that isn't a straight man (Sorry straight men, but for real though). Grrl gangs are fucking awesome."


a gWEEDO frienz crew?

@SlankyLanky Told ya he was a tweaker.

 

[BelleBottoms]

I lucked out several times. Five near-instances I can think of without thinking too hard. Back then when I was 20 and on the road, I was clean, sober, and quite confident, which I think helped with being able to talk myself out of corners I got backed into. But, seriously, I think luck had a lot to do with it. So many old nasty perverts... revolting fucksticks get that twinkle in their eye like they just found something shiney... and you better believe that even an encounter that doesn't end in rape with these pieces of shit makes you want to dry-heave that sour pit out of your stomach for the next week...

 

[PinkLore]

revolting fucksticks get that twinkle in their eye like they just found something shiney... and you better believe that even an encounter that doesn't end in rape with these pieces of shit makes you want to dry-heave that sour pit out of your stomach for the next week...

Wow well said.

 

[freegander]

i am glad this thread (so far) has been a safe space. <3

So many old nasty perverts... revolting fucksticks get that twinkle in their eye like they just found something shiney... and you better believe that even an encounter that doesn't end in rape with these pieces of shit makes you want to dry-heave that sour pit out of your stomach for the next week...

i haven't spent any time traveling solo in the states, primarily because of this shit. traveling can be exhausting enough without the constant reminder that i am a woman. sometimes i'd just like to forget.

 

[Matt Derrick]

although we can't prevent every idiot out there from posting something stupid in this thread (as evidenced by @junkpolecat99's posts) know that everyone here on the StP staff is doing our best to make not just this thread a safe space, but StP as a whole a place where everyone can come together and talk about these topics without having to deal with stupidity or harassment. we definitely have your back; if there's ever an issue with any member (even myself/staff members) please don't hesitate to bring it up and we'll do our best to make the situation better.

that said, i'm just going to take a step back and try to learn from the experiences being shared here.

 

[WieselFlink]

Weird how many people here, besides me, had the exact same experience. Beeing 15 and getting drugged. You know the rest.

 

[croc]

Everytime it happens it feels like a piece of myself gets taken from me. Again and again. It leaves a hollowness inside you that never really goes away.
.

Exactly. There's always a chance to heal but (in my experience at least) the scars ain't goin nowhere. And I'll never feel the same about my body. Tbh I kinda try to separate myself from my body now. Thinking of it as someone else that I want to nurture and heal helps. Maybe that's not so healthy but it works for me.

It's so easy to fall into blaming ourselves, especially when society always responds with what we should be doing about getting raped.

I didn't consider what happened to me when I was 16/17 (and they were mid 20s) assault because "I chose to hang out with them" and "I should have known to keep my guard up". Years later I realized the age difference alone was a pretty good indicator that it was wrong. Learning that just because I only said no and didn't physically fight back doesn't mean I consented.

I let myself be used time and time again after that because I was afraid that if I said no and they didn't listen that I'd have to live with being raped again. I couldn't have "normal" sex for most of my life after that bc my brain was so scrambled. It's like it had to be violent Maybe that was my brain's way of coping, adjusting to "enjoy" being forced or uncomfortable or hit.

Mostly it all makes me so angry. Like how could anyone think they get to use my body? How could anyone respond to this situation by not wanting to brutally murder someone who would rape? Why does no one teach teenagers about the depth and details of true consent? There needs to be education so young people (or anyone) never feel like they were responsible for not saying no loudly enough or persistently enough.

You're not alone with this ever, at all. We're here for you. And thank you for starting this thread. It's nice to feel connected to yall and understood.

If anyone ever wants to message me to vent or get help, my inbox is open.
<3

 

[visionquest3311]

I just posted about this in another thread and a person didnt agree with me. I will repost here.

I have had near rape encounters many times with strangers but luckily was somewhat sober and somehow got out of it.

Though I have been raped twice by male friends.

This is the previous post, I responded to her response that I was acting like I was responsible since I said " I should have known better". Which sorry for me and myself I should have, though I have no fault in it...


Hi I see where you are coming from but I don't feel that way. I have little emotions connected to the rape, at the time I was sickened by it but then let it go.

I am a female who knows how male sexuality works. In an ideal world yes obviously he should have never tried to take advantage of me but we don't live in an ideal world. Cis men and women have different sexualities and when base males who just react from their sexual urges see an attractive female they get horny and many want to hump. If I am around atypical males as a woman I definitely make sure I don't get wasted around them and put myself in a situation where I could be raped. It is the way some men operate that as a woman equal to them in their eyes if I am drunk or very drunk you take responsibility for yourself and make plans accordingly.

Obviously people who purposely get someone drunk to have sex with them or till they pass out then rape them should be prosecuted. But being aware of alcohol and males in the first place would avoid the situation. We definitely need more awareness.

The guy that raped me in his mind it was a sex act. I would never prosecute him because he really believed that and well he's an idiot. He really had no clue. Though I am sure you will see that as an excuse for my predator but he is an equal to me. Another sad misinformed human being with a poor upbringing. I feel compassion for him.


I want to add that my rapes were not violent and drugged. They were more in the view of a sex act to the uneducated males they happened with but for me it was rape. We drank together I told one to stop kissing me but was most likely half assed drunkenly kissing him but told him no I dont want to have sex with him. In the morning I wake up to him humping me like a dog.

I would still go to bars by myself and hang out but am now more aware that men wanna fuck and I just want to hang out with other human beings.

I still travel the world by myself but again am weary. I have been followed and grabbed. So far again I've been lucky if thats even the correct word for it ....

I dont hitchhike anymore because I have too many shitty encounters. Even traveling as a group of females unless you have some females who are juiced I wouldnt do it. Too many sad fucked up males who werent breast fed enough or didnt get enough love from their mamas that want to take out their deep seated resentment on a female.

 

[Prophetess333]

Victims are not responsible or at fault. No one asks to be raped. I've a friend who was raped twice; once when 13 years old then later when she was on a hospital mental ward.
No means no, people need to learn to control themselves and respect that.
Males, females, anyone could be a victim houseless or not.
There are domestic violence centers around the states that offer free counseling and stuff.

 

[Pokebert]

I’m going to keep my head up and stay sober minded on the road, especially with strangers and other vagabonds. Alcohol is fun, but I don’t want to get fucked up with strangers, and I will have pepper spray on me in the event that my pre-preparedness doesn’t work (though I don’t anticipate ever having to use it).

It’s a very shitty reality, but avoiding sexual assault means to always be keen and aware of your surroundings and the people you are with. Same goes with any form of assault, really.

 

[Oddy]

You're not alone, when I was 16 I was hanging out with a group of guys in their 20s, my female friend left me at a party and one guy said I could stay at his house. This was the first time I had ever been properly drunk, the vomiting, incapable of walking kind of drunk and he proceeded get on top of and tell me that it wasn't cool that I was a virgin and I should just do it with him, well, you all know the rest. Since then I've never let myself get too intoxicated around people I don't know very well, which sucks and I resent having to mediate my own behaviour out of fear. It's kept me safe on my travels but I feel your anger.

 

[Kymin Kaos]

Hearing all these stories reminds me that we are courageous to talk about this and keep traveling and surviving. I got sexaully assaulted a few times and I can say it is never your fault and you are not alone in having this happen to you. I am sorry that it happened to you and all of us. i think if we talk about it we can support each other and learn from all of our experiences. It is the fault of sexist men who don't understand consent and want to dominate women. They should be educated or ostracized from our community. Or at the very least be called out publicly to warn other women about their predatory behavior. Stand strong women and solidarity between us. No one is at fault.