incompatibility with reality

[DazeDreamer]

Take charge... you are responsible for the way you feel. All these emotions come from the brain. Just because a brain cell fires and causes you to be unhappy you do not have to manifest unhappiness. Quit thinking so much!
Go out into nature! Be social! Live in the moment! You and only you are responsible for your own happiness. You create every emotion that you experience. Take charge and move forward. Understand this is sink or swim. Life is sink or swim!

you are incorrect.

 

[Sameer]

How am I incorrect? Emotion is a chemical process within the brain. You need to take control of your own happiness. Why would you let a society and the world affect you when they don't even know you exist. You need to take control of your own happiness that is the only Power you have. Go out and do something different. Get a dog as a companion, smoke some cannabis and go out into the forest and play.
Give yourself permission to enjoy life!

 

[roughdraft]

all this stuff about lifes redeeming qualities being eclipsed by the insanity and misery is something we can all relate to. we choose to deal with reality the best we can because it is the best option

you can prosper

I'd suggest in your case leaving the ganja alone for a while and doing some deep breathing

we're just animals after all so it's physical stuff that can make all the difference

that's real shit and that is all

 

[DazeDreamer]

How am I incorrect? Emotion is a chemical process within the brain. You need to take control of your own happiness. Why would you let a society and the world affect you when they don't even know you exist. You need to take control of your own happiness that is the only Power you have. Go out and do something different. Get a dog as a companion, smoke some cannabis and go out into the forest and play.
Give yourself permission to enjoy life!

you're incorrect because no one has any power. things only exist, you aren't responsible for anything. no one is responsible for anything.
I would love to live with a dog, have always wanted to and never have, but I don't have the means to adequately take care of myself, let alone another animal. and I spend a lot of times "playing" in the woods high, that is definitely one of life's main redeeming qualities. but my own happiness for its own sake is not a valid primary objective to me.

everyone always deals with everything the best they can. the best you can do is the only thing you can do. the worst you can do is also the only thing you can do.

there is nothing to be done except what we're all doing and going to do and being unable to connect with other people IS deal breaker for me when it comes to whether or not I'll put significant effort into life.

 

[salxtina]

Yeah I get that. Lots of people seem to find meaning in spiritual practice or the natural world or some vocation or profession or other, and that's all good, but for me that's all pretty secondary to finding meaning in human culture, human communication.

Well... We're not responsible for "feeling different" or "thinking positive" or any nu-age stuff like that.
We ARE responsible for not hurting or exploiting other people, that's all.

If I can ask, what do you feel like is "sociopath-like" that scares or upsets you about yr self? If you mean something like not feeling a lot of emotional empathy, I think you can still choose to live a kind and ethical life regardless. And hopefully find things that are fulfilling to you too.

(Unexpectedly getting naked in front of people and/or chasing them tends to freak them out a lot so maybe that's a thing to not do...)

 

[DazeDreamer]

no, actually no one is responsible for anything, that is quite evident.. I don't really think I'm a sociopath, because I feel a lot of things. but empathy is impossible, not just for me. like sympathy is possible, but empathy is a fairytale. but yeah I don't really think I'm such an asshole other than when it comes to philosophy because that's pointless to talk about and pretty much everyone seems like an idiot to me when it is talked about. but like my family never hated living with me and lots of people have said they thought I'm a really nice person. I wasn't chasing anyone, by the way. but having someone who supposedly saw you as a close friend and wanted to see you suddenly turn away and run, what else are you going to do but try to find out what's going on? and if anyone is frightened by me getting unexpectedly naked then they have issues of their own. but none of this can even be communicated truly because empathy doesn't exist.

 

[salxtina]

Alright man. I mean actually, I experience empathy, and you deciding that's a fairytale doesn't change anything about my life. And sure you can decide you're not responsible for anything. That's just a lot different from the decision I'll make, and different from what shapes how I view other people.

Right, it sucks a lot to have close friends turn on you. Anyway, your description is a description of chasing someone. What else I'd do would be... not that. And yeah, I recognize that other people have their own 'issues,' also called 'feelings' or 'boundaries', and I try to respect that.

 

[DazeDreamer]

you actually are not capable of sharing other people's feelings, no one is. that would be ridiculous. but maybe you meant something else by empathy...
I'm not "deciding" I'm not responsible for anything, it's just obvious that everything is either determined or random and there is no room there for anything other than the universe or its source to be responsible for anything.
if you were there I can pretty much guarantee that you would agree I was not threatening at all, whether or not you want to call it chasing someone.

whether or not I'm naked while I'm in the water has nothing to do with other people's boundaries lol. feelings, yes, but not everything should be respected if I'm doing nothing to harm anyone, which I never am really.
I just dislike pretty much everyone I've ever met. other people generally seem to like me (like people I was in school with and people who have actually been part of my life in the past), I just don't really like them that much or not enough for it to make sense for them to remain in my life. like I can't really work with anyone on anything because I know no one who shares my goals/values/beliefs. Obviously the person I mentioned before is a special case in that I did connect with her, when I knew her before.. but people change and I forgot that and got roped back in. and for some reason her changes resulted in thinking it was appropriate to physically check me for weapons when I have never concealed carried any weapon in my life or done anything threatening towards her. but yeah I don't know she's fucked up. at least her actions clarified that I should not waste any more of my time trying to reconnect with her. I mean I am fucked up too apparently, but not like that (there's a lot more history there which I'm not going to get into)..

anyway... I guess this thread should probably die soon since it is of no use to anyone, just like me!
who would I be of use to when everyone is destroying themselves and the world? lol
fuck people.

 

[salxtina]

Ok that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard, have fun.

 

[DazeDreamer]

I really don't understand how people don't understand.

EDIT: I should probably explain that when I said I don't like people, I don't mean that I dislike people. in actuality I do like most people. I meant I don't like most people enough to pursue closeness with them, not like "oh this person isn't good enough" just like.. it doesn't make sense for me to interact with most people since fundamental differences in perspective create conflict and I don't want to create conflict but it happens when I interact with people because I'm fucked up, as you can probably tell by reading the emotional ravings on this thread.

 

[DazeDreamer]

here's some material that seems relevant, if anyone is interested...

this article:
https://godsandradicals.org/2018/06/27/down-down-to-troy-town/

and this entire series:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL848F2368C90DDC3D

 

[Phuen]

Had about enough of reading uncapitalized giant masses of text.

If you treat yourself like trash, then you make yourself into trash. It's as simple as that. Treat yourself well, and you'll feel well, and others will see that and have the chance to admire it.

 

[DazeDreamer]

I treat myself well in every way other than beating myself up about social interactions and lack thereof. it's depressing to me that what I described became translated to freaking out and showing someone my nakedness. I didn't even freak out, nor was I showing anyone my nakedness.. idk last summer someone in a group I was with freely declothed and got into the water and it didn't bother me at all. I don't see why that has to become something extreme. I only even mentioned it because I know other people don't see it the same way I do but she and I had spent time together naked without any sexual or other context, just because we both wanted to be naked outside. I had no reason to think that jumping into water naked would bother someone and I still think it had more to do with mental health issues than anything I did that she acted the way she did. especially since it was completely opposite to the last interaction we had the week before. but it makes me dislike myself that I feel the need to explain this to people on the internet who I don't know.
right now I'm just living off of money I saved last year. I don't really have any intention of making more money because I've already spent way too long relying on market-accessed mining-products for survival. I just gotta take the wilderness test alone I guess maybe if I pass it then I'll get to find people to develop mutually beneficial relationships with..

 

[Matt Derrick]

@DazeDreamer i've only scanned over the thread and not read every detail, but in my half-assed opinion you need to seek some kind of professional help.

i'm not saying that as an insult; i'm not saying it as a way to talk down to you. based on what you've shared here, i honestly think you need to seek some assistance that is outside of what we are capable of here on a message board.

these are deep seeded issue you're dealing with and if you want things to get better in your life, you need to take charge; sometimes that means having the courage to do what it takes to get that help, even if it's just asking for it. there are a lot of people out there you can talk to that are far better equipped to help you with these things than we are and who genuinely care about your well being.

look up some folks either online or in the phone book, there are some people out there that will give you an ear to vent into at no cost to you, but you're not going to solve these problems here.

 

[DazeDreamer]

@DazeDreamer i've only scanned over the thread and not read every detail, but in my half-assed opinion you need to seek some kind of professional help.

i'm not saying that as an insult; i'm not saying it as a way to talk down to you. based on what you've shared here, i honestly think you need to seek some assistance that is outside of what we are capable of here on a message board.

these are deep seeded issue you're dealing with and if you want things to get better in your life, you need to take charge; sometimes that means having the courage to do what it takes to get that help, even if it's just asking for it. there are a lot of people out there you can talk to that are far better equipped to help you with these things than we are and who genuinely care about your well being.

look up some folks either online or in the phone book, there are some people out there that will give you an ear to vent into at no cost to you, but you're not going to solve these problems here.

I've talked to loads of people (multiple "professionals" included), but never found a one who I looked up to!
I wasn't expecting to solve anything by coming here. it was more like bullshitting to be rebellious because it doesn't matter what I say or do I still can't connect with anyone and no one understands this so why the fuck would I care what I say online? *meticulously crafts snide and useless responses over and over* everybody is undermining themselves by relying on industrial civilization including me. we're all toxic. the only deep seeded problem is incompatibility with reality and there is no treatment or cure or escape.

the only things that can happen are the things that do happen.

 

[DazeDreamer]

OK - I misunderstood about the nakedness; I’m guessing here. While I agree with @Matt Derrick - there are better-equipped/trained people out there to help you, I gathered you’ve tried a few & didn’t have any success/luck. You landed here trying to connect - Misfitlandia; I have more depressing news - everyone’s a misfit. By my reckoning, ‘adaptation’ consists mainly of how best to conceal one’s maladaption; I’m > half a century old - orphaned early, veteran, international traveler, fugitive. I’ve examined practically every facet of human behavior. OK - I haven’t seen it all, but I’ve seen a lot of shit. & I agree - it’s mostly shit, HOWEVER, you’ve recognized that early on - you’re already ahead of the game. One thing I’ve learned is all the horror serves to sweeten the triumphs - whose scarcity alone makes them precious.

I've sure tried to adapt, but I passed a point where I no longer wanted to try to adapt anymore because it's just not worth it in my opinion. that's all this is literally. I'm just whining like life isn't good enough because I said so and I don't want to make myself more acceptable to others and I don't want to be alone but most people seem to insist that it's one or the other. and I don't really care. I've been well aware of the level of insanity in me for a while now and it never to goes to a place that's dangerous for anyone, which I intend to actively sustain while I exist. it's not like talking to another therapist is going to magically make me not autistic (which I wouldn't even want if it were possible because the world is and people are a mess and I'm good with how I'm reacting to that mess, it seems appropriate to me, I'm just not good with the mess and being unable to make it better, which I am unless I can build biomass and community and local infrastructure with other people)

 

[DazeDreamer]

after the day when I was basically dry heaving rage which was also the day I was posting here earlier on, I started adding a lot more wild plants to my diet and since then have been feeling more okay with perpetual isolation. but it still sucks that I still haven't spent time with anyone since the previously mentioned events.

I probably would not write the same words now that I did before. as is so often the case.

 

[DazeDreamer]

OK - fair enough. Nevertheless, take note: for all your inadequacy/incompatibilty, you’ve connected - such as it is - with everyone here. We’ve all staked our concern on a virtual stranger. That’s not for effect - that’s reality.

I mean I recognize the interactions and I appreciate that people have tried to offer help, but I would certainly not call any of this connection. I definitely do not feel like I have been understood here or that I have understood here and the internet is far too indirect a means of communication for it to be meaningful connection imo.. afterall, people are often quite different in person than they are on the internet.. I know I definitely am and lots of other people I've interacted with are as well.. but of course now that I have posted this (lol I still don't understand how people can believe in free will it's such nonsense) I've possibly given a deterrent to people on this site who I maybe could connect with, were I to have the opportunity to spend time with them.
So grand! but again, how could I not think that it's probably best for other people if I push them away?

obviously, saying that valuing myself more would make me feel better does not actually give me any reason to value myself more.
I think being miserable is quite appropriate for the context that I exist in.

I kind of hope this thread will die now. I probably will not keep myself from compulsively replying if anyone says anything else but I don't really want to interact with people online anymore because I usually don't resort to going online until I'm at the very edge of losing my shit, since there's literally no one in my life to turn to about anything and I have yet to find any outlet for anger other than climbing which I've already been doing to the point of my limbs being too sore to climb anymore right now. Stuff just piles up and then I spew it out on the internet and it sucks because the internet is not a good place to communicate or be understood.

I hope everyone will have good fortune in their endeavors in life.

 

[Deleted member 2626]

I have family so I can’t say I have no one but it starts to sour and yet again I can’t relate. I guess I really onyl can relate to others when I’m in a hole as well. Then I’m back to my anti society and feral ways of thinking which alienate me from everyone. I go through bouts of depression and anxiety too man and I’ve had a good life. . . It just pops up. It should pass. It can take months I’ve been kicking a bout on like 4months and still have little hiccups. But I quit drinking heaviley, no drugs and even quit weed after enjoying two days on it. I smoke a pipe, eat well and drink a lot of teas , a little coffee in the a.m. I also take herbal supplements for anxiety and mood support.

 

[Gwasher]

killing yourself is pointless and creates more problems. Whos gonna find your body? A kid maybe, your parents? is that fair to put on anyone? My best friend just killed herself bc she thought no on cared for her and she was 100% wrong. I hope you find something that improves your outlook dude. Good luck