How to choose an appropriate piss bottle (for guys)

[Sameer]

Not to insult anybody here, but this is pure laziness. I will happily rise out of my warm comfy sleeping bag and stumble off for a piss in the snow rather than piss in a bottle. All y'all do all y'all, but please warn people before picking them up in your piss van. I've gotten picked up in nasty-ass vans that stink like piss and have piss bottles hanging around, and would have rather walked. Even if you don't smell the piss because you've gotten used to the smell of your own piss, I will.

. When you get a certain age sometimes you have to piss two or three times in the middle of the night. You'll be there too! You piss in a bottle quickly and then go back to sleep. Even though I live on public land, BLM, I don't want to go outside at night and wake myself up, you know, Wide Awake. In the morning I dump the bottle and rinse it out with a cap full of bleach.... I only use a bottle in my van at night or when I'm traveling. The rest of the time I just piss outside. My van smells like Nag Champa incense. There is no smell from the bottle If you use a little bit of Common Sense.

 

[Dameon]

. When you get a certain age sometimes you have to piss two or three times in the middle of the night. You'll be there too!

I am there. I'm not exactly young. I'm up at least three times a night to take a leak, and I have no indoor pisser. Rain, shine, or snow I am out the door three times+ per night taking a leak. It was worse before I got the outhouse going, and it was rain, shine, or snow go out and dig a hole.

 

[Sameer]

Brother Dameon, you have more fortitude than I do!
I wouldn't go outside late at night because I would think that a pack of coyotes would look at me as food! Hahaha! And you are right! I also have a lazy streak!

 

[anterrabae]

coyotes typically only run around in 3s and 4s, and 99% of the time wont even consider Fing with men.
Only reason to get nervous with coyotes is the rare occasion theres 5 or more in the vicinity.. and mostly just because thatll at least double the chances that one will come sniffing around for your scraps when youre asleep.

although theyre known to attack solo women or children from time to time, they are overall not much more a threat than a pack of raccoons or black bears.

 

[Odin]

although theyre known to attack solo women or children from time to time, they are overall not much more a threat than a pack of raccoons or black bears.

As a layman I['ve herd black bears are a bit more chill... but on the same level of racccoons>>>>??? interesting thought

 

[anterrabae]

I wouldnt say that, cous, because obviously it is entirely subject to change based on the situation.. but if you asked me on a scale of 1 to ten how tight my asshole would clench if I ran across a blackbear and I WAS NOT preparing a meal just then.. yes it would be the same as all thise times I woke up with a racoon growling in my face or the time a pack of them had me surrounded and I felt it necessary to pull out the knife... eh, a 3.



dogs on the other hand. thats when its time to be on your guard. stray dogs are their own class of home bum

 

[Odin]

yes it would be the same as all thise times I woke up with a racoon growling in my face or the time a pack of them had me surrounded and I felt it necessary to pull out the knife... e

yea we deff got em on the roofs.... i try smart but I iffor peace then... if next measures... ... but mostly
... peace
uy

;

 

[anterrabae]

So to not be off topic: Being that I am young, an emergency piss is rare, and I think there has been no more than a couple of times I needed to get it done without stepping out of the vehicle. More frequently its been riding through suburbia on a train and never knowing when the next intersection is going to pop out of knowhere and suddenly youre pissing on peoples hoods.

In those occasions I always found a way to make it work, without a bottle. Although laying down to piss is incredibly slow going. Your body just wont relax for it in that position.. when your moving.

 

[Sameer]

Ancient Debris... Good information, brother. You would think that after squatting on public land for the last 6 years I wouldn't have any trepidation about going outside late at night. Here in Ehrenberg I can hear the coyotes howl and that's enough to keep me inside at night. Haha! Comes from growing up Urban I think, less than a mile from downtown LA. When I do go out I am convinced I'm seeing glowing eyes watching me and it is not what I'm smoking. Hahaha!

 

[Grubblin]

OK, wait! This can't be a serious thread can it? It's got to be satire that I can't understand due to current level of smoked outednessesness! I'll have to read again when not so many brain cells are sleeping.

 

[LazyMofo]

Gatorade bottles are the best. Large capacity, large opening, and a secure lid. If you can't fit your dick in a gatorade bottle you might actually be a horse.

Came here to say this. Gatorade bottles are God's gift at 2:51 A.M. for those whizzes in the wee early morn

 

[creature]

@Gubbin ... Honestly?
I wasn't being satirical, so much as I was being merely inane..

I cleaned my van out, & that evening found i dinna a reservoir..
Having to pee into a tiny holed glass bottle in the dark was (as it has been before) an act requiring caution & a bit of bit of dexterity..
After finishing, I said "O Shit!!", & remembered I had a large OJ bottle, that I merely needed to finish, in order to provide for the next episode.
This, in turn, reminded me of when I accidentally stuck my dick into a jar of jalapeño juice (which is definitely *not* a good bottle, unless you get off on being branded, or shit like that..)

Had I been speaking of the best way to bag & dispose of actual crap, perhaps I would have sounded a bit *less* tongue in cheek, or a bit more as if I had my finger up my ass, but @Odin 's suggestion of a laundry bottle is so utilitarian that it actually merits experimentation, and will in fact be put to the test.

Inane intentions or not, that bit of a score of practical reasoning was certainly worth the thread...

 

[Wild Ty Laserbeam]

If you think pissing in a bottle is gross or pointless, you're on the wrong thread. There are many situations where it makes perfect sense.

I prefer"simply" juice bottles. Hold 3 or 4 pisses, fairly large mouth, clear so your know what's in it.

Do y'all really put your dick INSIDE the bottle? Not to brag but I would need a pretty large bottle mouth. Also that sounds kinda dirty. I use a headlamp so I can see, get close without touching, and aim it in.

My girl uses on of these.

Big mouth, good capacity, tight screw lid, 3ish bucks at Walmart.

 

[Odin]

but @Odin 's suggestion of a laundry bottle is so utilitarian that it actually merits experimentation, and will in fact be put to the test.

Inane intentions or not, that bit of a score of practical reasoning was certainly worth the thread...

'
wow... glad I made some sense... yea a big plus is your not likely to drink outa laundry bottle... unlike juice or Gatorade bottles... specially if your intoxicated...

give it a go and see how it rolls for the wee wee l

 

[RoadFlower33]

I drink my urine, its sterile and I like the taste.

 

[Grubblin]

I have a wide mouth nalgene that I kept extra AA batteries in. One time the batteries got hot and exploded leaking acid all over. I use that bottle, the wash it every so often with bleach and boiling water. If you can't fit inside a wide mouth nalgene you have something to brag about - or maybe you need to get that checked out?!

I've often thought that if I were going to buy a nalgene to use specifically for this purpose it would be a glow in the dark one. I keep the bottle in the same place in the truck but a glow in the dark would be a plus for the 3am urges. I don't have the bread to buy a pissgene though.


I don't just use a bottle at night bc I'm lazy, although it's a lazy option. I'm an insomniac, it's always pretty bad, sometimes worse than others. If I get up and get moving enough to get out and take a leak I may not go back to sleep for three hours, if at all - especially if it's cold.

I'm constantly surprised at the topics on this site and after being here so long I shouldn't be.

 

[anterrabae]

Big mouth, good capacity, tight screw lid, 3ish bucks at Walmart.

know what else I found at walmart?

 

[Longfoxbrock]

Ive always been a fan of the larger arrowhead water bottles. Good diameter for the pecker, when I was driving truck, they were easy enough to use without pulling over, although cruise control was a huge help.

 

[Overgrown]

Laundry detergent bottles are great for this use, wide mouthed, has a handle and if you leave a little bit of detergent in the bottle it will help contain the smell, swap out for a new bottle every so often depending on how much laundry you do.

 

[Urbicide]

Use a 5 gallon jug so you wont have to change it out for months at a time