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Alcohol and Drinking

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kokomojoe

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So I've been thinking about it a lot recently and have come to the realization that drinking does nothing good for me. When I really step back and think about it logically, I just can't reason that it's worth it. And it's not even strictly about the health aspects of it either, although that should be enough reason in itself. I'm really not any happier by drinking. The thought about having some beers and just relaxing or having a good time sounds nice initially but, I know that it rarely ever works out that way. What actually happens is I just keep drinking until I'm miserable or passed out. It's like there's never a point where I'm satisfied with the level of intoxication and just say I'm done. I either end up fighting with someone or just pissing someone off. There have been other times where I come close to pulling a knife on someone. It's always fun up to a certain point yet the end is always the same. I'll get kicked out of places or just do something that makes me not want to return. The amount of money I spend on it is stupid, puking and shitting my brains out is stupid, getting arrested and going to jail for it is stupid, and not having a grip over something so trivial is stupid. It's no longer something that's a release or a distraction from thoughts I'd rather neglect. Rather, it's just a draining, monotonous activity. Maybe I'll end up going back to it but whenever I get the craving lately I just recall how it's done nothing for me. When I follow the thoughts, the logic of not doing it, it seems so obvious and when I neglect them and just follow the crave, the feeling, it just doesn't make sense. It's like I knew this the whole time I had been doing it yet somehow it's only become this clear to me now. All the bad times from it have just added up to this giant sign that says fuck this. There have been several occasions where I've wanted to quit and don't and I'm hoping that this isn't another one of those times.

Not intending for this to be preachy or anything. If you drink, whatever it makes no difference to me. Several people I know can drink and have a good time and know when to stop. I guess I'm not one of those people. Just figured I'd write this on the chance it could benefit someone else.
 

bryanpaul

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almost 4 years sober here..... life is good.... for me, i knew it was the end... like death was starting to become a real possibility... couldnt kid myself and pretend like it was all 'wooo party' anymore...i was just miserable.......... but yeah listen to your instincts...
 

wokofshame

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Me too. I went 6 weeks without drinking a year or two back and life was about the same as when I drank, I drank more soda/Peace Tea/Arizonas.
I think kicking back and sipping on a cold beer is ingrained in my mind as relaxing after so many years of it. I want to relax. So i buy some tallboys and find a chair or lean my pack against a wall or what and just sit and enjoy life. Just sitting and enjoying life is great.
But what is the beer doing? Nothing, really. Damaging my health. When I only drink a little bit, I might as well just be sober. When I drink a lot, I no longer enjoy the feeling. I find myself wishing I could just restart the process whenever i find the world spinning.
It's the bitter taste, the fizziness, the coldness I guess. I just associate it with chilling, unconsciously.
I've had some really bad shit happen the last year thru mine and others drinking. A promising relationship got destroyed because of something my partner did wasted, and then I, blacked out, played along.
I'm done forever with liquor, I don't like the taste or mouth-feel, fortunately. Beer, I dunno. I have some work to do to quit it. But i share your feelings. Any drug addiction just doesn't make one any more interesting of a person over the long run, it distracts one from pursuits that make you more skilled/learned/better
 
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Rob Nothing

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F**K yeah, man. One man's gold is another's garbage and all that... Frankly have a lot of pre emptive respect for anyone that has kicked alcohol. I don't necessarily relate but I can appreciate why, you know? I grew up with both parents alcoholics and they are now both recovered and completely sober and I am so happy that they have found a way to use that as a stepping stone to improving themselves remarkably.
 
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kokomojoe

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It's been one of those things that you get in the routine of doing and it becomes so passive. Once I really acknowledge what it does I'm just like wtf am I doing. Expectation of getting drunk and the reality of it rarely coincide.
 

Jimmy Beans

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I've never been "one of those" kinds of drinkers, generally I'm more and more jovial with each drink until I reach the point my stomach starts talking to me. I know the very moment I should stop drinking, idk if that comes with age but it felt that way for me. I haven't thrown up from being drunk in nearly two decades, I just stop drinking when I feel it's time. I share a lot of the feelings you have, and it's on rare occasion I do actually drink.

For me it's evolved into having a fancy beer every couple months or so. I'll buy one 22 ounce bottle of some 12% barrel aged barley wine ale, or a Russian imperial stout and I enjoy it more for the taste than anything. I find if I'm buying a $15 bottle of beer, I don't even have enough money to continue buying them and reaching a point where it becomes a mistake. I feel medium-drunk from one bottle, and I'm done right there at that point.

I don't like pissing 8 times an hour from drinking weak beers, and I definitely don't think they're all that tasty either. So that's where I'm at these days with it. I live with a couple heavy drinkers and I don't have any problem with people drinking to their hearts content. I just follow what my body tells me it wants and doesn't want. I say all this now, but there's still a slim chance you'll find me passed out in the dirt with a mosaic of empty pbr cans scattered about myself at the jambo. There's definitely a rare occasion or two a year where I'm like fuck it, anything goes tonight.
 
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Art101

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4 1/2 plus years sober and every once in awhile I get the kick back with a brew urge.It's very fleeting these days and very rare but yeah I totally get where you are.My rock bottom sucked,suicidal and homicidal ain't no fun.It does get better.Least that's what they say.
 
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codycodnyk

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I'm a couple months sober, spending all my money on it and drunk food, shitting out blood, psych wards, rehabs, getting into fights, blackouts, depression, all go with drinking for me. The worst part of it was that it necessary to just sit down and be comfortable with myself and my thoughts. I don't miss it, I'm one drink away from all of that bullshit and misery is how I look at it. Some people can drink half a beer and not finish it, some people can get blasted all the time and then stop when life calls with some pressing shit, I can't. But I don't resent that I can't drink, it gave me a lot of perspective and it got me into spirituality which is pretty fucking cool to say the least.
 

WanderLost Radical

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I found recently that i I drink more than 2 days in a row, it'll make my anxiety real bad for the next couple days. The problem is that being sober around drunk people also kicks it in. So I gotta find a solution for that, but yeah! Binge drinking aint for me anymore! :/
 

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