When you love somebody more than they love you

[Rob Nothing]

I'd recommend a bit of hemmingway alongside Odin there on that. Excellent choice, dude.

Men Without Women is good. So is A Moveable Feast, Sun Also Rises, For Whom the Bell Tolls, The Old Man and the Sea, and Islands in the Stream.

personal fav hemmingway:

“Oh Jake," Brett said, "We could have had such a damned good time together."
Ahead was a mounted policeman in khaki directing traffic. He raised his baton. The car slowed suddenly, pressing Brett against me.
Yes," I said. "Isn't it pretty to think so?”

 

[Deleted member 2626]

That quote is the Sun Also Rises right? Hem and the others he drank and wrote and ran around with are considered the early 1900s beat writers. I didn't particularly enjoy that book

 

[Rob Nothing]

I didn't know that. I considered it to be extremely enjoyable and still do.
I relate better with writers from that era than I do with anybody living today.. maybe that's pathetic
But I'll probably go back to it one of these days and read it twice more.

 

[psychofoamer]

Well it's done. Parted ways yesterday. Not sure how I feel about it.

 

[Deleted member 13433]

Good !!

Seriously, a few years back I was going through the same thing - horrible one way relationship where I could not accept that she did not like me anymore.
It took her to up and leave - and I mean leave - like 3000 miles leave - and about two years later I realized this was a huge gift she gave me, because we both needed it to end, only I couldn't.

And when did I realize this ??
When I was in another terrible relationship where the new girl was doing to me exactly what I was doing to the girl above.

I felt terrible for all the years I caused girl number one>
I felt terrific when girl # 2 suddenly ditched me.

No more of any of that serious nonsense for me, no way....

I've got a dog, three cats, a roof over me head, and I just took delivery of a forty five year old fully restored canoe.

Life is Beautiful

 

[Parker Free]

Losing one thing just leaves room for something new. Keep breathing.

 

[Deleted member 13433]

...and that something new to me is hopefully living out my life somewhere in the north west Adirondaks or up in Canada

Nope, sorry but I'm done with the idea of companionship, as it ain't worth it - not too mention that now my breathing has never been better

 

[psychofoamer]

The day we parted, someone new and wonderful came into my life

 

[Parker Free]

...and that something new to me is hopefully living out my life somewhere in the north west Adirondaks or up in Canada

Nope, sorry but I'm done with the idea of companionship, as it ain't worth it - not too mention that now my breathing has never been better

The day we parted, someone new and wonderful came into my life

Yep. My point being you need the mental time/room to allow new experiences and people into your life, or whatever it is you want. Get too busy dwelling on shitty stuff and you won't be able to enjoy the good stuff.

 

[Deleted member 13433]

Actually, you are wrong.
I am enjoying the good stuff - I went free-diving today, saw all kinds of marine life, then had a nice evening in the front yard with my dog watching the sun set....

Now I am making dinner for me and my animals.

If I am in a relationship, I have to compromise who I am and what I am about.

FYI, the last girl I was with could not believe I actually worked 40 hours a week in a factory after hearing how I am doing wildlife monitoring / rescue, river clean-up, all kinds of eco related things, not too mention hiking with my dog, swimming with my dog when it's nice out, I mean I don't stop - unless I am forced too, then I get real mad.

Every single person I've met has always tried to change me from who I am to who they want me to be.

I'm sorry, but I need to be alone.
I tried that relationship shit, and each time I was left a little more broken.

I'm now 50.

I'm done with being used.

If love with humans works with you, hey that's great - but please realize that it's not for me,

all I need is:

AIR
TREES
WATER
and ANIMALS..................

 

[Parker Free]

@OTTERWOLF I don't think you are understanding me, as what you are saying is the same thing I am saying.

 

[Rob Nothing]

Otterwolf!

 

[Deleted member 2626]

Otterwolf. That's a misanthrope man. I'm feeling it more and more. My greatest days and nights were spent with just me and my pooch

 

[Deleted member 13433]

Indeed, mine too......

I want to add that the other day - which was six months to the date that my last "wife" [we were married in nature, just not legally] dumped me in a violent rage of un-warrented hostility, I actually wrote her asking her if she was ok, and to just let her know that I had no ill feelings and was wondering how she was doing.

The reply I got surprised me, it was like all she remembered was the bad, which believe me there was [show me one relationship where everything runs perfect 100% of the time for both mates] but there was also times of absolute beauty [being in the woods in VT], times of sorrow [when her mom passed away, when her dog became quite ill, even previous martial woes from her ex, problems with her oldest kid...] and times of disagreement [we had the same ideals but saw them very differently, and while I was open to discussion, she was not] which ultimately killed us.

I was astonished that I had simply been erased - but at the same time relieved.

I posted on my Facebook account that I sincerely wished her a live full of love and blessings, while for myself I wish of a life of solitude with the air, trees, water, and animals.......

So, I still stand by what I said about how for me - how it is best to be alone, because I always love my mates more than they love me, and the hurt in the end is no longer worth it.

People - give yourself a big hug !!
Yeah, after all - you are the best fried you'll ever have

 

[Deleted member 17306]

Adler On Love
The word that we must examine in thinking about love is "desire." There are two modes of desire, acquisitive and benevolent, desire that leads to getting and desire that leads to giving. The word "love" is misused if it is used for acquisitive desire and, in that connection, carries the connotation of sexual desire.

Imagine a human world from which gender and sex were totally absent but everything else remained the same. If you say that you cannot imagine such a world. I must respond by saying that you do not understand the meaning of the word "love." Certainly in such a world, one would love one's country, one would love the friends one admired, and one would love God and understand what it means to say that God is love.

The Greeks and Romans had three words for the three kinds of "love". In Greek, the words are eros, philila, and agape. In Latin the words are amor, amacita, and caritas.

It is only erotic or amorous love that involves sexual desire and activity, but even erotic love is benevolent in its concern for the enjoyment of sex by the loved one. Sexual activity devoid of benevolent impulse is not love but lust, and lust, like greed, is a mortal sin.

Love is always altruistic, not selfish. Only children and childish persons ever misuse the word "love " for selfish desire, saying " I love candy" or "I love popcorn."

Love is more altruistic than justice. Justice is primarily negative, its precept being not to judge or harm others. But love is entirely positive in it precepts. Aristotle us that if all human beings were friendly, justice would not be necessary, for if they loved those whom they thought admirable, they would be benevolently disposed toward them.

 

[IntrovertMatt]

Walking away is easier said than done. I'm going through something similar-ish. I'm in love with my best friend and the catch is she has a boyfriend but I know she has feelings for me or at least it looks like she does, she just doesn't want to hurt anyone, unfortunately I'm the unlucky one. I've had to walk away and quit contact with her, I'm not sure how long that will last though.

 

[Renegade]

If someone is not willing to be emotionally invested in you and play games at the same time than whats the point of being with them? Regardless of how you feel about them, it does not change the fact that they are playing with your emotions. I'd say can her and find someone willing to be real with you.

 

[zipty6425]

Agreed. Otterwolf I feel your pain man. Some people only see what they want to see... I have an ex like that. I felt like I did everything I possibly could to make her happy. I bought her everything she asked for. I bent over backwards and jumped thru hoops... When it came to an end, I remembered the relationship as a beautiful connection, with romantic walks, peaceful conversations, just reasonable understanding of each other with the best of intentions... Dude later she came back with all kinds of insanity about emotional and mental abuse and like every bad and negative thing you could create with every senerio... Apparently who she is, and who I thought she was, are two very different people.

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