when did you realize you weren't normal?

[iflewoverthecuckoosnest]

Middle school is when I started to come to terms with it. I tried and tried, but somehow I could never be "normal". I spent decent chunks of my childhood without any friends.

I finally started to embrace the weird as I went through high school, and started making more friends (who were also misifts).

I still tried to do the whole college/job/drone in the hive thing when I hit adulthood. I really didn't know that there was much of another option. I did know that I was inherently dissatisfied, though. Something was missing. Something always had been.

I started befriending more folks on a similar rhythm as I was, and found out about all kinds of possibilities I never considered before.

I dipped my toes in the water by working on a few communes and hanging out with some crusty kids. Then the river sucked me in and I've been doing exactly what my heart wants for well over a year now, I estimate.

I could never go back. That something isn't missing anymore.

I think a lot of people are oddballs trapped in yuppie costumes. I think a lot of people are needlessly sad with their lives. Maybe they don't realize there are other options, or maybe they are afraid to take the leap (I remember being terrified when I went in to give my two weeks), or perhaps they are tied down by obligations.

Who knows? All I know is that I'm not one of them anymore.

 

[Fatboy]

Since finding STP I realize that, there are many more people like me. It sucks that I did not know this until 42....better late than never I guess.

 

[Benji91]

What is normal...I guess normal is just what's common.

I've always been an outsider, the weird kid from kindergarten onwards. The kid who preferred to read in school, the 13 year old who wished he had an injury (broken bone or the like) just to feel some love, the teenager who snuck off at lunch for a cheeky beer on his own in highschool, the 17 year old who used to rock up to parties in drag. The kid who was always on the fringes of a social group, on the edge of acceptance. But, aside from the negatives, I was me - I can't and wouldn't try to be anyone else.

Now I'm the 20-something year old who tries to balance too many conflicting passions - music, travel, BDSM, activism, football (soccer, AFL, NFL), nature, hiking, reading, writing - which all end up clashing.
The 25 year old who struggles to manage to maintain a happy life after a string of miserable/abusive pseudo-relationships, physical assaults, close friends dying and rape. I'm constantly searching for others with similar experiences to talk to (in person, that is...there are some things that).

I've found like minded people, but never groups. As a laugh I used to say I was too queer for the punk scene, too punk for the queer scene...but the more I think about it, I've never felt "normal" or even accepted in a group.

Fuck normal, I'm me.
It'd just be nice to have a strong support network sometimes.

Everyday I feel I come closer to the realisation that I'm destined to live something of a lone wolf life, I'm just not sure how I feel about that. Life is the road, or it will be soon enough.

...wow, didn't mean to spill so much or get at all deep, sorry if any of that was unwanted or unneeded. I may delete this later on, insecurity is a bitch.

 

[Deleted member 16034]

I don't think I ever had a time in my life where I was considered "normal." I knew it, everyone around me knew it. Hell, my imaginary friends fucking knew it.

I did try to fit in a lot at school, I talked to all the "popular" kids. I befriended people who literally left me at a dude's house after I got drugged. I did drugs I didn't even fucking like. The amount of shit I was willing to do just to feel like I belonged somewhere was really over the top. I think once I hit my twenties I realized that as long as I'm not mentally or physically hurting anybody it really doesn't matter what other people think of me.

 

[iflewoverthecuckoosnest]

What is normal...I guess normal is just what's common.

I've always been an outsider, the weird kid from kindergarten onwards. The kid who preferred to read in school. [/I]

I can relate to that bit in particular. I was always digging into some Robert Louis Stevenson adventure novel or reading macabre books about romantic poets like Mary Shelly.

Other kids thought I was so weird for reading and writing all the time, but I loved books and I still do.

Even when I'm hitching around I've always got some tattered Steinbeck or Tom Robbins novel in my pack.

 

[Coywolf]

Well I guess it all started when I went to my First adult film actor interview.....you should have seen the look on that guys face after I stripped down......::fuckinginbed::

But for real, I think the moment I first got the balls to throw on a backpack and start hitchhiking, something changed in me.

I can't really explain it, I mean, I had always been a skateboarder/stoner/wanna-be-anarchist in High School, but traveling made me find my inner peace. And that, to a lot of people I know, was not "normal".

I am currently having a bit of a mid life....something. I mean, I work for the government, so I can't really be any MORE of a son of "The Man". But my views on politics/society/living are forcing me to rethink my purpose here on Earth.

The second I got to my job this summer (which I was super excited about) I immediately missed being on the road, ecspecially because it is almost summer, and now i'm stuck with a job for the next 6 months. I love my job, but I also love being a tramp, and the two conflict, ridiculously.

Anyway. That brings me to my next point. I'm not very weird, or a punk, or have anything to prove, really. But I am definitely not normal. (As in the American dream wife/kids/college/debt/work/stress/then die kind of normal)

I think it was said best here: v

The next yuppie you see could actually be a stealthy hobo ninja living out of their tiny half empty backpack, doing a way better job than you at not drawing attention. you don't know.

 

[freegander]

what the fuck is normal? I've never talked to anyone who believes that they are living to conform to the masses. I have however met alot of people (including myself at times) calling everyone but themselves sheeple. That seems like some hipster bullshit to me.

The next yuppie you see could actually be a stealthy hobo ninja living out of their tiny half empty backpack, doing a way better job than you at not drawing attention. you don't know.

i have met many people who believe that conforming is a good thing, at least to a much larger extent than i am comfortable with.

but you make a good point. i think there is a kind of judgmental attitude that roots itself in people who think they are anti-conformist and it becomes very easy to dismiss the humanity of the other; the sheeple, like you said.

So, let me make sure I am understanding this right : when you were with these folks in the community, you felt yourself? And if you did, what do you think yourself is?

The idea of molding rings true to me, because it is something I found I do often. Luckily, I treat it more like a skill and less like an identity. I find molding myself to people can be useful for small periods of time, to enjoy company I might not otherwise enjoy, but it's always things that I must cut out of my life fairly quickly. (mostly people I meet on the road for a couple of days, or 5 minutes, or whatever)

it was more of a feeling, not a thought.
but if i try to put it into words: for the first time, i really divorced myself from the forces of society, the patriarchy, capitalism, and religion. i stopped defining myself by my accomplishments, intelligence, or anything else that normally makes me feel special. in fact, i had to stop finding any solace in my "uniqueness" or anti-conformity. the people i was living with were waaaay beyond me in these things. i believe truly feeling that you are not unique is a huge step in a person's development. it certainly was painful.
i had to stop comparing myself to others and just let myself be.

"what do you think yourself is?" you're asking the classic question: "who am i?"
i can't put it into words. i can't teach it to others. but i know what it feels like. it's like muscle memory, i can now realize when i'm not myself and when i am. and everyday i'm getting better at learning what sort of things feed me and what drains me.

 

[Peace]

you know that hobo song that says " i remember grade school, and starting to notice that i was the only kid sitting alone. i remember high school, and starting to notice that not much had changed since i was six years old."

That's a pretty good description. I don't view myself as "not normal", but I've definitively never fit in anywhere (school, jobs, with any group of people). Never had more than 1 or 2 friends going back to when I was a child. I dont know, maybe I'm just crazy and don't realize it.

 

[Benji91]

you know that hobo song that says " i remember grade school, and starting to notice that i was the only kid sitting alone. i remember high school, and starting to notice that not much had changed since i was six years old."

Ahh Johnny Hobo, those words hit me pretty hard too.

 

[N0MAD]

you know that hobo song that says " i remember grade school, and starting to notice that i was the only kid sitting alone. i remember high school, and starting to notice that not much had changed since i was six years old."

That's a pretty good description. I don't view myself as "not normal", but I've definitively never fit in anywhere (school, jobs, with any group of people). Never had more than 1 or 2 friends going back to when I was a child. I dont know, maybe I'm just crazy and don't realize it.

The Top part is very much how i felt, i'd have to try extra hard to get someone to atleast acknowledge me. After a while i just stopped trying and ended up with a couple of friends which i still eventually lost contact with,

 

[TheWindAndRain]

It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.

 

[marmar]

Always knew I was normal and the world is crazy. There are very few normals out here, the rest are human machines. They resent normals.

 

[Rob Nothing]

Peace love and prosperity to all and to all a good night

 

[otch0z]

My name is Alice and I feel like I was doomed to be weird and somehow insane
In primary school, kids didn't like me, neither after that but then I had a pack of people that weren't liked by most of the kids so it was alright
I always felt "not part of it" but i think it is because of personal stuff (my birth wasn't a piece of cake and apparently that leaves traces so that made me "eclectic", said the doctor who helped my mother giving me birth and not dying while doing it)

But speaking of normality, I've just lived something interesting for this discussion (I think)
I've recently moved to Montréal, Canada, after traveling for a few months in the US. Being originally from france, it was interesting to see that I kinda changed because the main counter-culture changed too, and so did my group of friends etc
See, in France you'll find your "crust punks" (or whatever seems closer to me) in raves in the forest (the movement is huge where i come from). I might get a lot of shit for saying that but errr... punk (music) is kinda dead in france, nowadays people actually have strikes to enforce the techno movement.
Anyway. I somehow met some friends in Montréal, that are more part of y'all counter culture (if i really shorten things, acoustic music) and my tastes in music, style etc changed. (actually i got back to my 13yo self which is funny)

So yeah i just conformed to another non-conform subculture
And isn't what we're all doing ?

 

[Ori]

I always tried to fit in middle school and high school.. pretending to like things I really didn't and talked to kids that were popular, thinking it gave me some superiority in life. I did this for a while..

It was when I turned like 21 or 22 and decided to hit the road with just a bag and indulge in my true self and I realised it didn't matter what others thought of me, I became happy with myself, and met others like my true self and it brought true connections in my life with people.

Now I feel superior to those 'popular' kids in life, they're just a sheep, conforming to society..

 

[Grubblin]

Is birth too early? If not, then birth! Another great question would be 'when did you realize that not being normal was better than normal', but that's another thread.

 

[haylee]

I had never thought of it as being not normal, but all of my life I have stayed very true to my own principles; whereas most people rely on what everyone else thinks or does, I go based off of what I feel myself and think myself. Fortunately or unfortunately, it's always been odd or unique in my case.

As for my friends, I have had some friends that have steered away from the "norm", but they really just deviated into what I call an "alt norm", which is pretty much just a culture that, although different than the norm, really perpetuates the same kind of "herding". I mean, I respect these people a lot, but I can see that they are, at times, no different than normal people, only that the guidelines they follow are a deviant of the norm. But, that's just my analysis of it. When you study human nature, you realize that there aren't really too many different kinds of people, only different backgrounds.

That was a blanket statement that will surely catch some fire on here, but what I am saying is that, yes, we are all snowflakes, yada yada yada, but ultimately, we have certain predispositions to react to things in a certain way, and the only REAL difference in any two same-type people is the situations they have experienced.

I'm an INFP, so that should kinda describe what's up with me; I imagine there might be a couple of those types here.

Yo I'm an infp!

 

[Ori]

every time i'm on the subway, or at a bookstore, or coffeeshop, and see very possibly cool or interesting looking people, but theyre all fucking with smartphones, I'm reminded that I'm not one of them. Is all it takes a smartphone or other portable entertainment object? Bars are supposed to be social centers- but many if not most are noisy and stress inducing. Dining is supposed to be social and relaxing-it cant be if theres loud Nikki Minaj or Bruno Mars or Maroon 5 playing at 110 decibels....
People need to write long letters in cursive.
People need to burn their tv's and tablets and smartphones.
Pop culture needs to emulate me: I shall never emulate it.

https://evolutionistx.wordpress.com/2015/12/29/when-defector-punishers-meet-cooperation-punishers/

I swear people are scared of human interaction these days.. Hiding behind their cellphones. If you try and talk to people they get so weirded out! Everyone is living in these alternate universe via their cellphones. None of that shit is real, it's all an illusion.. All those likes on Instagram, etc.. it does not compare to human interaction

 

[CricketsChirping]

I swear people are scared of human interaction these days.. Hiding behind their cellphones. If you try and talk to people they get so weirded out! Everyone is living in these alternate universe via their cellphones. None of that shit is real, it's all an illusion.. All those likes on Instagram, etc.. it does not compare to human interaction

Say net neutrality evolves and we lose our information super highway. What happens to all the time you spent liking stupid meme's and starting dumb crap on a dump post? You wanna "Like" something with meaning and not risk losing it at the pull of a cord? Okay then go carve out the like symbol somewhere in nature and start a manhunt to get others to find it and like it too..

 

[kecleon]

School. Before school I never knew it was a thing not to be normal and everyone around me was wacky anyway so my version of normal was completely unnormal.

At school if you don't fit in you don't just feel it you're told it, excluded for it and made fun of for it.

I don't think anyone's normal really. We all have some things in common that are the real normal but the rest is manipulated into us and we're tricked into behaviors. What people call normal is just choosing to conform and not let people learn the real you.