What's your weirdest experience on the road? | Squat the Planet

What's your weirdest experience on the road?

Cussock

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I'd like to hear what I can look forwards to when I get out there... good, bad, uncomfortable, ȗ̵͚͇n̴̡̔̉́̍̈̈̍͠ŝ̵̨̢̊̔̿̈́p̵̡̣͑̆̆̇́̕e̶̡̖̦̹̺̟̦͉͉͎̝̋̆͒̊́̀͊̽̒̔͘̚̚͝͝a̶͖̘̫̟̼̪̼̱̼͉̲͕̽̿̈͛̏͊́͆͛͐̓̐̈́͗́ͅk̷̡̗͙̼͈͔̗̝̉̊̈́͐̃̀́̐̿͆͘̕͜͝͝ä̷̧̢̰̘̮̤̞͖͍̙̤̲̔̚b̷̩̙̅̈̊͑̋ļ̷̱̮̼͜͝e̴̫̪̗̼̺̭̗̠̖̥͓̥̍̈́, anything else. Wish I had something to contribute, but sadly I'm not out and about yet.
 
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I took acid with my road dog and a tweaker "shaman" who held a dead quail to my face while explaining it's potential ritual uses. Then we were sitting by the fire and he started revving a chainsaw and cutting wood that was already cut and talking to himself while I stared into the fire and seriously questioned my life decisions up to that point lol. Overall he was a cool dude though.

Saw some really weird lights while camping on the beach in Utah. They almost looked like shooting stars, but they went a steady pace and changed direction. One would verrryy slowly fade out and then reappear in a different spot, and sometimes there were two lights moving together.

And theres a lot of little synchronicity things. Hearing back from a job as soon as I'm about to leave that town, wondering where I can get a fork to eat something and then finding an unopened plastic one on the ground, getting out the stove to make dinner just when some stranger rolls up with pizza, etc.
 

nivoldoog

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Had a hitch that was totally into the government did 911 and has his care stocked to the brim with pamphlets, brochures and media like tapes and videos.
 
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Saw a dude who looked like a square all he had was some quilts tied up with rope, no water.
So I go up to ask about his story and he said that the last thing he remembers was getting drunk at home in new Mexico.

Next thing he knows he woke up in a semi truck in Redding CA, so he gets out and starts hitching home and when I met him in Barstow, can he had been stuck for three days and his wife refused to pick him up....

apparently it wasn't the first time it happened.
 

roughdraft

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drivin from Chicago, a quick reststop in smalltown Indiana. i'm halfway asleep, it's past dark, and i hear in the distance what sounds like a few young dudes singing "Baby I'm An Anarchist!" by Against Me! at the top of their lungs (no pun intended)

sure enough i get up and start prancing toward them doing the same. they stop their bicycles and we're all singing in unison, not one person missing a beat, and we get close and look each other in the face totally natural and keep singing. if that isn't road magic i dunno what is

shot the shit for a while afterwards, smoked some marlboro reds. this was back in 2010. if you read this and you were there say hey.
 
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Crazy Hobo Johnny

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It was about 8 & half years ago my friend Ricky and his then GF Amy and my then GF Jessica were biking through Pike National Forest in Colorado outside of Colorado Springs. We we're looking for a place to camp out when we heard a noise someone playing a guitar and the voice was awful!

We see this guy wearing a black cloak, kinda of a cowboy hat that was black, tint circular rose colored glasses, a gray beard.

He had a small little white dog that was shivering.

He introduces himself.

“Hi! My name is Vince, I’m from Minnesota! I'm the Moon Monkey!” He said with a grin!

Vince had a definite arm pit stench odor about him. He was tall, scrawny, and stinky. On the cloak was bold-silver writing embedded that said, ‘Moon Monkey.’ (I am not kidding!) His kind of long brown hair looked like a bird’s nest growing underneath his hat along his scrubby gray beard.

He had battered khaki-forest-green tent with yellow trimming that had gray-duct tape patches on different places on the tent. It was sad looking. A fire he had was dying slowly around the pit.

A full moon was beginning to rise but the sky was still light but the sun just went behind the mountains.

Vice looked at the moon, pointed at it with his right index finger and said, (I have to paraphrase this because I can't remember the words exactly) “And when the Moon glows, it brings luck when it shows! And when the Moon is the light, it’s outta sight! And when the Moon is near, there is no fear!” As he finished, Vince’s pitiful dog let out a pathetic howls especially when he said, Moon a couple of times. Poor thing.

I leaned over and whispered into Ricky’s right ear and said, “This guy is a few bricks short of a load man!”


Anyway, all four of us left and found a spot to camp out in. I plan to write this in my fictional E-book, The Adventures of Crazy Hobo Johnny which should of been out four months ago but I put it off for a while.

I have many weird stories but this one sticks out on the top of the list!
 
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WanderLost

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I got picked up by a guy in Jackson MS and rode to Vicksburg. He had the thickest Mississippi accent id ever heard in my life. I couldn't understand most of what he was saying, but he was definitely talking alot of shit about people of color even though he was of color himself.
He talked really fast and had icy eyes that made him look like a robot, and he kept talking about going to a boat which i didnt understand until we got to Vicksburg and we pulled up to the casino boat by the river. Apparently he wanted me to go to the casino with him, but i told him no thanks (he was a creep).
So later that night i get a tornado warning on my phone and its really windy. I go to the store and get some beer and food. Everyone seems chill but the card machine is down so i ask the clerk how often they get these warnings. She said not very often but didnt seem worried.
So i go down into one of those train tunnels there by the highway to drink for the night and wait out any possible tornados lol.
Next morning i try to hitch out west but all the rides only wanna drive me across the bridge to this truckstop.
After turning down a couple rides i take one goin to this truckstop and i fly a sign for a little bit and this dude walks up barefoot and wants to hang out. So we go to his minivan that is crashed by the highway and start drinkin beers.
Turns out he's an amateur storm chaser who crashed his van trying to get footage of the tornados from the night before lmao.
We hung out until the evening and there was this train i was kinda ignoring just chillin on the mainline or sided out idk. I wasnt plannin on catchin it but then later on when i was drunk i was like ok time to split i dont care where its goin lol.
So i leave his van and run across a field and get in the third dpu from the front and ride it to Shreveport 😂
 

WanderLost

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It was about 8 & half years ago my friend Ricky and his then GF Amy and my then GF Jessica were biking through Pike National Forest in Colorado outside of Colorado Springs. We we're looking for a place to camp out when we heard a noise someone playing a guitar and the voice was awful!

We see this guy wearing a black cloak, kinda of a cowboy hat that was black, tint circular rose colored glasses, a gray beard.

He had a small little white dog that was shivering.

He introduces himself.

“Hi! My name is Vince, I’m from Minnesota! I'm the Moon Monkey!” He said with a grin!

Vince had a definite arm pit stench odor about him. He was tall, scrawny, and stinky. On the cloak was bold-silver writing embedded that said, ‘Moon Monkey.’ (I am not kidding!) His kind of long brown hair looked like a bird’s nest growing underneath his hat along his scrubby gray beard.

He had battered khaki-forest-green tent with yellow trimming that had gray-duct tape patches on different places on the tent. It was sad looking. A fire he had was dying slowly around the pit.

A full moon was beginning to rise but the sky was still light but the sun just went behind the mountains.

Vice looked at the moon, pointed at it with his right index finger and said, (I have to paraphrase this because I can't remember the words exactly) “And when the Moon glows, it brings luck when it shows! And when the Moon is the light, it’s outta sight! And when the Moon is near, there is no fear!” As he finished, Vince’s pitiful dog let out a pathetic howls especially when he said, Moon a couple of times. Poor thing.

I leaned over and whispered into Ricky’s right ear and said, “This guy is a few bricks short of a load man!”


Anyway, all four of us left and found a spot to camp out in. I plan to write this in my fictional E-book, The Adventures of Crazy Hobo Johnny which should of been out four months ago but I put it off for a while.

I have many weird stories but this one sticks out on the top of the list!
So is it a book of fiction that has real road stories in it? You should make a post about it when its done!
 

Crazy Hobo Johnny

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Yes I will and it will be free! Matt has read some chapters I sent him a while back. Right now I am behind due to work and other personal stuff. Should of had it done by now. Most of it is fictional but the weird incident I posted will be in there but I change the location to a hobo camp in Minnesota! Thanks for asking!
 
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Cussock

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I got picked up by a guy in Jackson MS and rode to Vicksburg. He had the thickest Mississippi accent id ever heard in my life. I couldn't understand most of what he was saying, but he was definitely talking alot of shit about people of color even though he was of color himself.
He talked really fast and had icy eyes that made him look like a robot, and he kept talking about going to a boat which i didnt understand until we got to Vicksburg and we pulled up to the casino boat by the river. Apparently he wanted me to go to the casino with him, but i told him no thanks (he was a creep).
So later that night i get a tornado warning on my phone and its really windy. I go to the store and get some beer and food. Everyone seems chill but the card machine is down so i ask the clerk how often they get these warnings. She said not very often but didnt seem worried.
So i go down into one of those train tunnels there by the highway to drink for the night and wait out any possible tornados lol.
Next morning i try to hitch out west but all the rides only wanna drive me across the bridge to this truckstop.
After turning down a couple rides i take one goin to this truckstop and i fly a sign for a little bit and this dude walks up barefoot and wants to hang out. So we go to his minivan that is crashed by the highway and start drinkin beers.
Turns out he's an amateur storm chaser who crashed his van trying to get footage of the tornados from the night before lmao.
We hung out until the evening and there was this train i was kinda ignoring just chillin on the mainline or sided out idk. I wasnt plannin on catchin it but then later on when i was drunk i was like ok time to split i dont care where its goin lol.
So i leave his van and run across a field and get in the third dpu from the front and ride it to Shreveport 😂
That's big yikes. Could've been on something? Bath salts aint no joke. :D
 

roguetrader

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we were parked up near Amsterdam one summer about 20 years ago - one day we went into the city got blasted on coffee shop bud, then got drunk in a seedy backstreet bar... around midnight this strange Baron Samedi character wandered in - black dude in a top hat and tails with a thick Caribbean patois laced accent - he was carrying these big metal catering trays full of skewers of meat in sauce.... he said he was a regular customer of the bar and that he fed the homeless most nights but there weren't many people around that night so would we like to eat ? well we were absolutely ravenous and laid into to this huge pile of food...

even though it was in a thick spicy sauce there was something strange about this meat - none of us could decide what animal it was from, and everytime we asked him he just laughed and said 'eat, eat' - eventually we all stopped chewing and he wandered off, now I've eaten pretty much every meat that a European is exposed too and I still can't decide what weird shit he'd been feeding us ! and another strange thing, when we asked the barman about the regular guy in the suit that feeds the homeless and just left, he said he'd never seen him before in his life !

real Twilight Zone shit it was...
 

roughdraft

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we were parked up near Amsterdam one summer about 20 years ago - one day we went into the city got blasted on coffee shop bud, then got drunk in a seedy backstreet bar... around midnight this strange Baron Samedi character wandered in - black dude in a top hat and tails with a thick Caribbean patois laced accent - he was carrying these big metal catering trays full of skewers of meat in sauce.... he said he was a regular customer of the bar and that he fed the homeless most nights but there weren't many people around that night so would we like to eat ? well we were absolutely ravenous and laid into to this huge pile of food...

well even though it was in a thick spicy sauce there was something strange about the meat - none of us could decide what animal it was from, and everytime we asked him he just laughed and said 'eat, eat' - eventually we all stopped chewing and he wandered off, now I've eaten pretty much every meat that a European is exposed too and I still can't decide what weird he'd been feeding us ! and another strange thing, when we asked the barman about the regular guy in the suit that feeds the homeless and just left, he said he'd never seen him before in his life !

real Twilight Zone shit it was...

bro i've got to say, reading this gave me an extremely intense sense of deja-vu, which i haven't had in many years.... are you taking the piss outta this thread?
 

WanderLost

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we were parked up near Amsterdam one summer about 20 years ago - one day we went into the city got blasted on coffee shop bud, then got drunk in a seedy backstreet bar... around midnight this strange Baron Samedi character wandered in - black dude in a top hat and tails with a thick Caribbean patois laced accent - he was carrying these big metal catering trays full of skewers of meat in sauce.... he said he was a regular customer of the bar and that he fed the homeless most nights but there weren't many people around that night so would we like to eat ? well we were absolutely ravenous and laid into to this huge pile of food...

even though it was in a thick spicy sauce there was something strange about this meat - none of us could decide what animal it was from, and everytime we asked him he just laughed and said 'eat, eat' - eventually we all stopped chewing and he wandered off, now I've eaten pretty much every meat that a European is exposed too and I still can't decide what weird shit he'd been feeding us ! and another strange thing, when we asked the barman about the regular guy in the suit that feeds the homeless and just left, he said he'd never seen him before in his life !

real Twilight Zone shit it was...
Sounds like you were eating homebum....
 

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