Two Years of Traveling From 2015 to 2017 (1 Viewer)

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Qwent91

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Going to share some of the experiences that I had while traveling the states.

It started in June of 2015. I was on the WWOOF website which I don't recommend being on and for which I'm not on anymore because not a whole lot of good people on that site... Like everywhere else. Anyway, I contacted a intentional community called Vedrica Forest Gardens. I'm just going to say right now that this was a mistake to go that place. A complete fucking regret because it was a complete waste of my time and I got emotionally hurt by some of the worst people that you will ever meet in your life. It was located in Weippe, Idaho. I met a family who was hosting a "organic" farm there. They allowed me to come live with them and volunteer... I got there by flying. Again. This was a fucking mistake... My host is a terrible awful apathetic human... The thing about Vedrica is that it was a cult... Based on that bullshit "Ringing Cedars of Russia" crap. I was there for two months... From June to August 2015. I don't want to go into great detail of what happen there because it's just too painful and I never should have gone there in the first place anyway. I didn't even realize that it was a cult until later... My host was a woman and she emotionally fuck me up to hell and back... Lying to me and saying bad things that just didn't make any damn sense. Threatening me later and other bullshit. I saw her as a mother figure and I was sexually attracted to her along with another woman that was there. I was desperate at the time because I didn't want to come back to Florida and I have a lot of personal issues when it comes to my life growing up... It just wasn't a good mental state to be in and I never should have gone to Vedrica in the first place. My host had two kids with her partner and another kid that she adopted. It got to the point that things were falling apart and a lot of distress... They wanted me gone and other stuff. My host drop me off in Spokane, Washington so I can take a train to Eugene, Oregon because the other woman told me that it will be a "good" place for me to be at even though they were just condemning me to homelessness just so they can get rid of me.

So I went to Eugene, Oregon in August 2015. I was only there for a week... Homeless because of course. The only good thing that came out of it was unintentionally going to the Cougar Hot Springs... Everything else was shit. I just got out of there. Took Greyhound to go back to Idaho. Back to Weippe because I was desperate. That didn't work out... So I contacted another intentional community that was in Missouri in the Ozarks called Oran Mor Community. They allowed me to come. Took Greyhound again. I was only there for a week and few days because my mental state was killing me... I was very stressed and mentally overwhelmed over what happen in Idaho at Vedrica because at this time I wanted to go back to Vedrica and my host told me that I could go back if I did certain things first... This was so fucking stupid because of how desperate I was... I was at my breaking point. The first thing my host told me to do was to go to a vispassana meditation center to do a ten day course... That was another bullshit mistake that I made.... I don't even believe in meditation. It's just a placebo effect and nothing more. Bullshit. So I took Greyhound again to go to Kaufman, Texas because there was a vispassana center there... This was around August-September 2015... I was stuck in a hotel room for about nine fucking days until I could go to the center to do the ten day course. It was fucking awful. The meditation suck too. I left on the fifth day because it was just a cult that was trying to indoctrinate me. Fuck that... What a complete waste of my fucking time again. That's when I tried doing the second and last thing my host wanted me to do before she will "welcome" me back to Vedrica. To go and stay at Teaching Drum Outdoor School for a little bit in Three Lakes, Wisconsin because she has personal connections there. So I took Greyhound to go to Michigan and I hitchhike into Wisconsin. This was September 2015.

I was able to get into a week long canoe course that Teaching Drum was offering while still suffering from homelessness. It lasted for eight days from late September to early October 2015. Doing this canoe course actually was kinda decent. For the time anyway... It was a decent break. At this point my host from Vedrica went back on her "promise" to welcome me back to Vedrica. I was able to stay at Teaching Drum for nine months from September 2015 to June 2016 as a long term volunteer. Teaching Drum was also a mistake to go to in the long run and I regret going there... It's very similar to a cult of personality because the guy who founded it is a scam artist. An idiot and charlatan. Teaching Drum was bullshit. It was way too expensive to be there and it really is very similar to a cult of personality. The people there were not very good people and they were quite apathetic too... Things were not as bad for me at first but I was very quickly losing interest of being there only after 2-3 months of being there. Trouble began when my fucking host from Vedrica was going to move and live at Teaching Drum for a little bit because Vedrica didn't want her anymore... At this point I was having a backlash against her and Vedrica for what they did to me but Teaching Drum didn't listen to me... So my host came and all hell broke lose again. I tried fucking warning them... At this point I said fuck it. I loathe my host and Vedrica. Things were quickly falling apart once again. I left. Finally... By fucking Greyhound.

I went back to Oran Mor Community in Missouri. I was able to become a member there. More or less... Teaching Drum at this point didn't want me to come back because of my fucking host. Oh well... Waste of my fucking time again... Fuck Vedrica and fuck Teaching Drum. I was able to stay at Oran Mor for seven months from June 2016 to January 2017. I tried my very best to give it a chance and all that... It just wasn't for me... I felt no connection with the people there and they were doing and saying things that I don't agree with. The area was beautiful because of the Ozarks but that was it. It was in the bullshit bible belt. Anyway, I talk to the other people at Oran Mor and they thought it was best for me to take a break from Oran Mor and to travel for a little bit before deciding anything serious. So I went out west to try and visit other intentional communities if I could. I took Greyhound to go back to Eugene, Oregon to visit Alpha Farm that was in Deadwood, Oregon. That was a stupid ass place... I was there for a month and like a week or two in February into early March 2017. Absolutely no connection with anyone. No one gave a shit to talk and it was fucking lame. It was just another waste of my time. After that idiotic stay I went to a "organic" farm that was in Wolf Creek, Oregon. I don't remember the name of the place but I was only there for a week because my needs weren't being met there. That's when I was able to rent a room from a woman that I met in Eugene in March 2017. I was there for a little bit... That's when I went to yet another "organic" farm down in Redwood Valley, California. I very quickly left because I was done with the concept of "organic" farms. The hosts were awful people. I just decided to go back to Oran Mor back in Missouri.

So I went back by fucking Greyhound. I was so sick and done with Greyhound at this point. For this third and final stay at Oran Mor I was only there for a month and a few weeks from April to May 2017. It just got to the point that it was best for me to leave Oran Mor. I let it fall apart because I knew it was going to blow up in my face if I attempted to save it. Oh well... I went to Eureka Springs, Arkansas in late May of 2017. Homeless once again... Very quickly left to go back up to Michigan in Rockford because my "father" said he will help me with what I was going through... That was yet another fucking mistake... My "father" is an awful human being... Completely terrible. I was with him for two months from June to July 2017 before he screwed me the fuck over. He put me into the Pivot Crisis Center in Grand Rapids because he didn't know how to help me. I was stuck there for a month... August 2017. It was fucking awful... After that they put me into a bullshit "foster home for adults". Early September 2017. I very quickly got the fuck out of there because fuck all of it. Went back to Arkansas. Was able to contact a old woman that I met when I was living at Oran Mor. She let me live with her in Gainesville, Missorui. I was with her from September to October 2017. At that point she couldn't really help me either and I had little to no choice but to go back to fucking Florida... And I've been here ever since...

So that was my two years of traveling... I did not went into great detail here for obvious reasons... But anyway I'm just trying to meet people and trying to figure something better for myself. Thanks for reading.
 
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Wow.

I’m gonna be honest with you, because, well, I can’t be otherwise. I just wasted my time reading a guy talk of making two solid years of horrible choice upon horrible choice, railing within the diatribe, about how fucked up everyone else was. Not him, no, everyone else.

If you could be a disinterested third party, would you give any credence to what you just wrote? Did you actually read it? Bro, you got tossed from a cult, and a bunch of other groups. Cults don’t remove people, people enter cults and are never heard from again. You must be really special.

If you were one of my kids and told me how every person you came in contact with was messed up and not you, I would cuff you on the back of the neck. But that might hurt your feelings. I am not supportive. Hell, you’ll get support here, I’m sure. Incredible.
 
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Qwent91

Qwent91

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Wow.

I’m gonna be honest with you, because, well, I can’t be otherwise. I just wasted my time reading a guy talk of making two solid years of horrible choice upon horrible choice, railing within the diatribe, about how fucked up everyone else was. Not him, no, everyone else.

If you could be a disinterested third party, would you give any credence to what you just wrote? Did you actually read it? Bro, you got tossed from a cult, and a bunch of other groups. Cults don’t remove people, people enter cults and are never heard from again.

If you were one of my kids and told me how every person you came in contact with was messed up and not you, I would cuff you on the back of the neck. But that might hurt your feelings. I am not supportive. Hell, you’ll get support here, I’m sure. Incredible.
You're apathy and piss poor understanding of who I am as a person is NOT what I fucking need.

Thanks for wasting your time for writing a bullshit comment.
 

Faceplant

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You laid it out there for all the world to see. Look at it yourself. I don’t really want to understand you as a person, but I do fully understand you as a type.

And all it took was one post.

What you actually needed, a long time ago, was the afore mentioned cuff to the back of the neck. Done in a loving, supportive way, of course. Would that have met your needs?

Gonna definitely be on the edge of my seat waiting for you to catch us up from 2017 to the present
 
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Qwent91

Qwent91

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You laid it out there for all the world to see. Look at it yourself. I don’t really want to understand you as a person, but I fully understand you as a type. All it took was one post.

What you actually needed, a long time ago, was the afore mentioned cuff to the back of the neck. Done in a loving, supportive way, of course. Would that have met your needs?

Gonna definitely be on the edge of my seat waiting for you to catch us up from 2017 to the present
You don't want to understand me because you're a bigot. A delusional, indoctrinated, ignorant motherfucker... A cunt.
 

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You don't want to understand me because you're a bigot. A delusional, indoctrinated, ignorant motherfucker... A cunt.
Somebody's opinion of you that you may or may not agree with doesn't make them a bigot or a delusional indoctrinated ignorant cunt.

Look man you posted about the last 2 years and probably (so far) didn't get the response you wanted, but going from yer other posts I think you maybe want to talk to somebody in private about what's going on in yer life. It's possible that you arnt going to be received warmly because it seems to me from this post and yer previous posts that you are in a very negative place right now and maybe just maybe posting about it on stp isn't going to be doing yerself any favors right now.
 
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Qwent91

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Somebody's opinion of you that you may or may not agree with doesn't make them a bigot or a delusional indoctrinated ignorant cunt.

Look man you posted about the last 2 years and probably (so far) didn't get the response you wanted, but going from yer other posts I think you maybe want to talk to somebody in private about what's going on in yer life. It's possible that you arnt going to be received warmly because it seems to me from this post and yer previous posts that you are in a very negative place right now and maybe just maybe posting about it on stp isn't going to be doing yerself any favors right now.
The definition for bigot is "a person who is intolerant toward those holding different opinions" and he is clearly intolerant against me of who I am as a person. If I'm wrong of how I'm using the word "bigot" then that's fine. I'm sure I'll find the right word later.

No one knows what I've gone through in my fucking life. I was born with a speech and language disorder called developmental verbal dyspraxia which I bet you haven't even heard of until now... That did me no favors growing up. Did you know that? No... My social skills aren't the greatest along with other factors that negatively affected me growing up. I'm from a very dysfunctional family that offered nothing to me growing up. I am completely ashamed and resentful of the kind of people that I was stuck with growing up and still am to extent because I've been trying to get away from these people for a really long time... Better people who can show me true love and the support that I never got is all I've ever been looking for... Only to end severely disappointed and emotionally hurt. My needs and wants matter.

Plus it's a strong possibility that I may have borderline personality disorder but I can't get a straight answer from people that I've been talking to here and there... You already know that I have suicidal thoughts here and there which just so you know I haven't acted on them so far because of a small glimmer of hope that resides in me. Depression and anxiety is a thing for me along with some OCD. It was severely difficult for me growing up. I was verbally and emotionally abused along with some physical abuse here and there. I had very little to later no friends growing up. I've never been in a relationship with a woman so far. Never had a best friend with a guy. Never had a true family growing up.

I'm just looking for people who truly are understanding and accepting of who I am as a person. Love. Intimacy. I'm just sick of being hurt. I'm a very broken individual I feel like. I have severe trust issues and I'm very cautious and weary to pretty much everyone I talk to now. I'm on here because I consider myself a "misfit". But then again, "Even among misfits you're a misfit!"... I just don't like wasting time with people who don't want to get to know me and don't want to be friends. I've been in a very negative place for a really long time now... A really long time and I've been attempting to get out of it but people are just not treating me very well no matter where I go. It's probably very hard for you to sympathize along with many others because you and they haven't gone through what I've gone through and people probably treat you very differently compared to how I've been treated which hey... It is what it is .
 

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@Qwent91 - what did you have in mind when you shared your narrative here? I'm not a moderator, nor am I traveling at the moment - I'm just curious. Ordinarily on this site I spout a lot of foolish nonsense & play the clown, but I also noticed your other threads & I sense you're a sensitive person in a bad way - less than ideal circumstances/whatever. Anyway, here we are. Everyone here is a misfit - it's what brought us here. I'm gonna go ahead and post this because I'm getting notified while trying to compose this that new posts have been added and would I like to read them..,
 
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The definition for bigot is "a person who is intolerant toward those holding different opinions" and he is clearly intolerant against me of who I am as a person. If I'm wrong of how I'm using the word "bigot" then that's fine. I'm sure I'll find the right word later.

No one knows what I've gone through in my fucking life. I was born with a speech and language disorder called developmental verbal dyspraxia which I bet you haven't even heard of until now... That did me no favors growing up. Did you know that? No... My social skills aren't the greatest along with other factors that negatively affected me growing up. I'm from a very dysfunctional family that offered nothing to me growing up. I am completely ashamed and resentful of the kind of people that I was stuck with growing up and still am to extent because I've been trying to get away from these people for a really long time... Better people who can show me true love and the support that I never got is all I've ever been looking for... Only to end severely disappointed and emotionally hurt. My needs and wants matter.

Plus it's a strong possibility that I may have borderline personality disorder but I can't get a straight answer from people that I've been talking to here and there... You already know that I have suicidal thoughts here and there which just so you know I haven't acted on them so far because of a small glimmer of hope that resides in me. Depression and anxiety is a thing for me along with some OCD. It was severely difficult for me growing up. I was verbally and emotionally abused along with some physical abuse here and there. I had very little to later no friends growing up. I've never been in a relationship with a woman so far. Never had a best friend with a guy. Never had a true family growing up.

I'm just looking for people who truly are understanding and accepting of who I am as a person. Love. Intimacy. I'm just sick of being hurt. I'm a very broken individual I feel like. I have severe trust issues and I'm very cautious and weary to pretty much everyone I talk to now. I'm on here because I consider myself a "misfit". But then again, "Even among misfits you're a misfit!"... I just don't like wasting time with people who don't want to get to know me and don't want to be friends. I've been in a very negative place for a really long time now... A really long time and I've been attempting to get out of it but people are just not treating me very well no matter where I go. It's probably very hard for you to sympathize along with many others because you and they haven't gone through what I've gone through and people probably treat you very differently compared to how I've been treated which hey... It is what it is .
I am not a therapist. I've been very clear about that. As understanding as I and stp try to be, there is a good chance that the help that you need is not available here and in my uneducated opinion yer negative attitude is turning people off.

I genuinely hope that you get the attention and help that you need.
 
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Qwent91

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@Qwent91 - what did you have in mind when you shared your narrative here? I'm not a moderator, nor am I traveling at the moment - I'm just curious. Ordinarily on this site I spout a lot of foolish nonsense & play the clown, but I also noticed your other threads & I sense you're a sensitive person in a bad way - less than ideal circumstances/whatever. Anyway, here we are. Everyone here is a misfit - it's what brought us here. I'm gonna go ahead and post this because I'm getting notified while trying to compose that new posts have been added and would I like to read them..,
What I had in mind was "Why the hell not?" because let's just wait and see what happens. It doesn't hurt to try... I like going with the flow. I might meet people that I've been looking for... I might not. I don't if I will call myself "sensitive" but I'm just someone who truly cares down. I'm very genuine. Honest and I speak what I know is right. I call out bullshit and what I know is inherently wrong. Plus I react to people of how they react to me. If it's cruel or mean I'm going to be just that towards them but if they're kind or sweet I'm going to be that in return while also being cautious and weary because that's just my trust issues now...
 
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Qwent91

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OK I've read your last post, so in an ideal world what's your next move?
I have no fucking clue... That's what I've been trying to figure out. But in a "ideal" world that's hard to say because it depends on a whole lot of shit.
 

Juan Derlust

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I'm going to reach out and ask what is your living situation at the moment? If you'd rather not say I get it
 
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Qwent91

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I am not a therapist. I've been very clear about that. As understanding as I and stp try to be, there is a good chance that the help that you need is not available here and in my uneducated opinion yer negative attitude is turning people off.

I genuinely hope that you get the attention and help that you need.
That's fine that you're not a therapist. I understand that. I just thought that some context will help. But okay... Thanks for hoping.
 

Juan Derlust

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Well this is your space you're not derailing anybody else's thread

I'm no therapist either but I could tell from your content you have issues - I don't mean that as a put down. We all do. Anyway, you say it depends on a lot of shit - I don't need to know any specifics but what do you hope to find here?
 
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Qwent91

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I'm going to reach out and ask what is your living situation at the moment? If you'd rather not say I get it
Not very good... It's exactly the way it was at the beginning of this decade. Which is me being a "recluse" more or less and living with people that I really want and need to get away from... "Family"... Expect they're disown and yet I'm still with them for some really strange reason... My "mother" and "brother" who don't have similar interests that I do and who I don't get along with because of some serious issues. They don't share the same wants and needs that I have... The lifestyles are very different.
 
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Qwent91

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Well this is your space you're not derailing anybody else's thread

I'm no therapist either but I could tell from your content you have issues - I don't mean that as a put down. We all do. Anyway, you say it depends on a lot of shit - I don't need to know any specifics but what do you hope to find here?
Yeah... There's that I guess.

I try to let people know in a way there's issues... I'm just cynical at this point though... What I'm hoping to find as a whole is friends. People to travel with. Relationships. Get away from Florida and the people who've hurt me over my life. See where things go... Because I have a lot of other things that I want happen but there needs to be understanding and accepting from someone who has very strong patience in order for those things to happen.
 

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From what I can tell, most families are mostly fucked up. However everyone has their moments & sometimes or you can get a surprise from an unexpected quarter
 

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And if you're in a shitty pattern you gotta try & interrupt it somehow and establish a better one
 
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