Trying to figure things out so I'm reaching out

[Drewski]

Hi, I would like to say right off the bat thanks for reading this. I don't want to give anyone my life story or anything so I will try and keep this as short as possible.

I'm a 21 year old male who, for as long as I can remember, has never had any clue what the hell to do with my life. I often feel as though we are living in a matrix and it's very hard for me to figure out whether I want to stay plugged in or disconnect. I left home a month ago and traveled in my van to Colorado and Montana and had a really great time but for reasons I still don't really know I came back home. It's felt good being back though for sure. I laid low at home for a couple weeks then went on a vacation in WI with my family this week for the 4th of July and now since I'm back home again I know I need to figure out my next move and get my shit together. I don't have any money and I'm feeding myself using food stamps I got when I was in Montana. I certainly don't want anything to do with a job yet I still do well at living cheap while staying healthy. I feel as though there is a bit of pressure to get ideas in motion cause it's been this way for awhile and I know my mom doesn't want me still chillin here without my own money to buy things beyond food or pay rent even though I feel I have pretty much all I need to make myself happy. It also doesn't help that I can't focus for shit and am a pretty lazy person (although I'm always willing to help out if someone needs it). Other than what I've already said I don't really enjoy describing myself and I feel I'm too complex to do that anyway. I guess I'm just on a journey of truth and self discovery in a nutshell.

To conclude, I guess the reason I'm posting this is because I have done this before on here where I posted an ad reaching out to people and it worked really well and I communicated with some really cool folks and I have hope that maybe someone understands what I'm feeling (neutrality?) and needs someone to talk to like I do. Maybe even travel together if it's meant to be.

So I guess if you're feelin' what I'm feelin' just shoot me a response or PM me and we can go from there. Thank you again for reading and caring and I hope you have a good day. Peace.

 

[wildwerden]

a lot of us young'uns are pressured to have our lives figured out which, in my opinion, is an impossible task. shit comes up, opportunities and disasters alike. we change our minds, we get bored, we get restless. it's human nature and for us to have to pick one career for the rest of our lives? fuck that! maybe go check out some farms? wwoof? occupy? seek out a local collective community? some kind of group that you may be able to relate with. i'm back home again (not sure how that happened) but i've been chilling at a local collective farm, i help them out, we all do our thing. the folks here are really incredible. we pool in our resources to get our basic needs. it's a really nice place to kick back and chill while i get my own shit together haha. plus i'm not bumming around at my parent's. win-win. i hope that helped a bit.

 

[crow jane]

sup 3rdeyevision

 

[Earth]

....all i can state is i am closing in on age fifty real fast which means i was a part of the last generation that needed to have their life mapped out by age eighteen, and as incredible as this sounds that kind of discipline worked very well for me.
problem is the way of doing things in this capitalistic country has changed over the past ten years so i need to rethink things as well.
but heres the deal:
forget about pleasing your friends, family.... you need to be true to yourself first.
one thing i always had was a gameplan.
call it instinct, whatever.... but you need to know at this stage in life what direction you want.
believe me, time wasted just drifting you dont get back.
i am one of the lucky ones, my life is pretty much set and at age forty eight, my drug of choice is free diving which is something i do each and every day.
good luck man, hope you flash on something soon!!

 

[Drewski]

a lot of us young'uns are pressured to have our lives figured out which, in my opinion, is an impossible task. shit comes up, opportunities and disasters alike. we change our minds, we get bored, we get restless. it's human nature and for us to have to pick one career for the rest of our lives? fuck that! maybe go check out some farms? wwoof? occupy? seek out a local collective community? some kind of group that you may be able to relate with. i'm back home again (not sure how that happened) but i've been chilling at a local collective farm, i help them out, we all do our thing. the folks here are really incredible. we pool in our resources to get our basic needs. it's a really nice place to kick back and chill while i get my own shit together haha. plus i'm not bumming around at my parent's. win-win. i hope that helped a bit.

That sounds like just the kind of thing I need. Thank you very much for sharing. Where are you located, New York?

 

[Charlie]

"I can only show you the door" -Morpheus

YEAH dude! I remember feeling that way too, but now I feel more like Neo after taking the red pill. Why? Here's why, I do what I think is the most awesome thing to do. I used to think I shouldn't quit my job, but I really wanted to quit, so I did it, and it bettered me. I wanted to go to college, so I started going to college, and it betters me. I wanted to WWOOF and work for free to shove it in the faces of capitalists, so I did that, it betters me. I didn't think I could skateboard, but it looks so cool and fun, so now I skateboard, I giggle like a little kid the entire time. I wanted to learn how to play more music instruments because there's not enough musicians for me to jam with, I bought books and instruments and learned those instruments, now I'm jamming. I kept saying "I need to quit this" every time I lit a cigarette, so I stopped smoking over a month ago, now I run, play soccer, and don't run out of breath easily. I wanted to learn how to meditate, I started to learn it from a book. I wanted to hitchhike to a music festival, I did, I had a blast, and I learned of a free 10 day meditation center while I was there. I wanted a girlfriend, failed, so now I don't want a girlfriend, and I haven't failed so I'm stoked! I ran into problems with depression, decided I can conquer that too, so I consulted a nurse and he gave me some tips on how to deal with it, I'm succeeding in that too, and it's bettering me a LOT.

Bottom line is, do what YOU think is awesome. If you want to do something, don't let anything stop you. If you don't want to do it alone, don't let that stop you, if you don't want to be alone, then you don't want to be with yourself. Do awesome things constantly, by yourself and/or with other people. You know how a kid can play with their toys in a sand box alone? Be that kid! Do silly things and have fun! If you can live for cheap, don't have a job, and have food stamps, you have me beat because you have food stamps. All you need to do to travel is do the traveling. I've traveled across the country and nobody of the people I met is going to solve my problems, nobody's going to be my hero, nobody's going to take my hand, because I'm the person who's going to shape my destiny. I'm the one who has to solve my problems, be my hero, take my own hand, and walk through the door that has been presented to me.

You think you're in the matrix? Dude, I live in a small town called Plain next to Leavenworth (Worth Leaven). I thought it was a joke from God that I was born and raised here and that I had to leave here and solve all of the worlds problems. Well, I don't know if I can solve all of the worlds problems, but I can solve all of my problems, so that's what I decided to do, and honestly, now I'm actually stepping up to the point that the people who's example I used to follow are starting to follow my example.

If you think that traveling sounds awesome, do it. If I were you, I would pick some destinations that you really want to see and then go see them. You know how cool that would be? Do it for free. Then when you go back home, people will be like "Woah, where've you been?" and you'll be like "All over the place" and they'll be stoked and ask you all about your trip and because you did things that you feel are awesome, they'll want to do the same thing.
I've made the mistake of following other people's ideas when I traveled in the past which I literally just now realized was a big mistake. People can suggest cool things, but if you're traveling behind them, you're not doing what YOU think is awesome.

That's the bottom line: Do what is awesome, don't do what is not.

"This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill – the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill – you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes. Remember, all I'm offering is the truth – nothing more." -Morpheus

Although, this isn't the matrix, there is always the chance to turn back, and if you take the blue pill, the story doesn't end, you do believe whatever you want to believe, but if you don't do what you want to do, there will always be something attracting you to awesomeness.

Traveling itself doesn't have to be what is awesome, you can do what is awesome anywhere, even at home, that's what I did. However, when you learn to do what's awesome, then go travel, it will be WAY better than when you did what's not awesome.



Also, learning meditation sharpens and strengthens focus.

 

[wildwerden]

It's always good to have a gameplan / goal but to plan it down to every-single-detail is what I was referring to. I think it's good to give yrself space and time to let opportunities surprise you.
Yes, I'm in new york. Awesome reply Charlie - keep the optimism up!