The dumbest assholes you've seen on the rails/road | Squat the Planet

The dumbest assholes you've seen on the rails/road

TheUndeadPhoenix

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Alright, so I wanted to share a story with you guys and wanna know if you've ever had anything stupid happen like this.

I was in Philly and waiting for a train to pass. It was one of those one-in-a-lifetime trains to go through Philly, it had a slave. Somebody was in it. Now that's cool and all, but as I see the unit, I see something bright red come flying out of it. I walked back from the rails a bit, cuz I knew what it was. Some dumb fuck was tossing lit fuzzies out the fuckin door. Not the window, not the side door. The front door, the one that leads into the tool area. This idiot tossed about 10 fuzzies out the door then closed it. I have no idea who he was or if he got busted, but I'd bet money he calls himself Fuck the Regan Adminis- I mean Freight Train Riders of Merica

UPDATE 6-11-15: Since we moved this thread to the shady people section, I just wanted to point out that this (often hilarious) thread is for the not-so-serious idiots that are out there. If you'd like to alert folks to genuinely dangerous people on the road, please create a new thread. --Matt
 
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iamwhatiam

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Probably one of the dumbest assholes I've seen on the rails would be myself, to be honest. My first ride was an intermodal out of chigago, and we had a handle of whiskey between the 4 of us. It was fuckin hott out........ and I will take most of the blame... The heat will make you do stupid things, and in short......it ended in us getting held at gunpoint, half naked, on top of a container...in the middle of nowhere, iowa. One of us fell off the train head first, naked and was rushed to the hospital....etc etc etc et fucking cetera..
 

TheUndeadPhoenix

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Probably one of the dumbest assholes I've seen on the rails would be myself, to be honest. My first ride was an intermodal out of chigago, and we had a handle of whiskey between the 4 of us. It was fuckin hott out........ and I will take most of the blame... The heat will make you do stupid things, and in short......it ended in us getting held at gunpoint, half naked, on top of a container...in the middle of nowhere, iowa. One of us fell off the train head first, naked and was rushed to the hospital....etc etc etc et fucking cetera..
o_O
 
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Matt Derrick

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What the hell is a fuzzy?

Alright, so I wanted to share a story with you guys and wanna know if you've ever had anything stupid happen like this.

I was in Philly and waiting for a train to pass. It was one of those one-in-a-lifetime trains to go through Philly, it had a slave. Somebody was in it. Now that's cool and all, but as I see the unit, I see something bright red come flying out of it. I walked back from the rails a bit, cuz I knew what it was. Some dumb fuck was tossing lit fuzzies out the fuckin door. Not the window, not the side door. The front door, the one that leads into the tool area. This idiot tossed about 10 fuzzies out the door then closed it. I have no idea who he was or if he got busted, but I'd bet money he calls himself Fuck the Regan Adminis- I mean Freight Train Riders of Merica
 

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Probably one of the dumbest assholes I've seen on the rails would be myself, to be honest. My first ride was an intermodal out of chigago, and we had a handle of whiskey between the 4 of us. It was fuckin hott out........ and I will take most of the blame... The heat will make you do stupid things, and in short......it ended in us getting held at gunpoint, half naked, on top of a container...in the middle of nowhere, iowa. One of us fell off the train head first, naked and was rushed to the hospital....etc etc etc et fucking cetera..
Was is Christoph?
He is an old friend of mine, and this story sounds hauntingly familiar...
 

iamwhatiam

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haha yes it was! and a feller who went by dry spell at the time
 
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He was tossing lit Road Flares??
Brilliant..............
Yet another asshole who wants to fuck things up for everyone else.

People like that don't deserve to live.
 

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I was heading to a place in Portland to hop out one night, with 3 others, 1 new rider. When we got there, we walked slowly along the edge of the golf course, looking for a nice hole in the bushes to sit in. We ran into 3 other kids who I knew from before, also waiting on the same train. We stopped to pass a bottle with them, and they loaded a few bowls in their pipe, all of us being chill towards eachother, but getting a bit faded after a bit. We grabbed our bags, said our goodbyes, and headed a few hundred feet down the hedge to find a place to rest for a bit.
After maybe 15 minutes, we hear a bottle break, and some people yelling. "What the fuck?" I think," these kids were so cool, why do they have to go and blow up the spot?"
It goes on for another 10-15 minutes, yelling, breaking things, general ruckus...
Finally, me and one of the other three head down to tell these kids to kick rocks if they are gonna fuck it up for all of us. About half way there, here come the other three kids, looking a bit confused, but equally pissed. We all stop a few feet from each other, and without saying anything, realize that the noise continues.
"Hey, uhhhh... shit." Awkward situation, since we went from being friendly, to ready to scrap within the hour.
We ask what's up, they don't know, but they left their gear at their place, and head back that way to keep an eye on it and try to get some rest.
I step over to a tree to take a piss, and suddenly notice 8-10 kids stumbling towards the bushes, a bit farther down, where our other 2 friends are sleeping.
We rush over to head them off, "Hey, whats up guys?" I say in a hushed voice, "is that y'all making all this fucking noise over there?"
"HEY! HEy, Hey, I know this guy! I know you right?!", drunk crusty kid says, obviously too drunk to control the volume of his voice, "We hopped out at the steel bridge before, right? Yeah, this guys cool!" he tries to pass me a spacebag.
"Uhhhh, no. Sorry, not me. Listen, we-"
"Hey! I'm Booger! This is Pukes! You know my friend Horseshit?" Booger says to me, "You sure you're not that guy?"
"Yeah. Listen, I don't know you, and I don't-"
"HEy, hEY, We got 6 newbies tonight, gonna show 'em how to ride trains! You guys wanna join our crew?"
"No, I actually wanna ask you to get the fuck out of here. There's already 7 of us here, and we don't need problems. Shut the Fuck up, or kick rocks."
"What? You think theres not enough room? Fuck you man, You dont know shit about tr-"
"Seriously, I don't want to hear you talk anymore. Stay the fuck away from us, and please, do us all a favor, and go home. You're not teaching these kids anything," I turn to the newbies, "Y'all are gonna die tonight, understand?"
We walk back over to the bushes, and I notice that Puke is leading the group of new kids down to the other 3 that are now coming out of the bushes, and Booger is following me trying to say something about how I'm gonna die, and He's a scumfuck, and if he doesn't know me, I don't know shit about riding trains. I tell my friend to go wake the others, and grab a big stick from the ground by the entrance to our hole.
"If you don't get the fuck out of here, I'm gonna knock your scum fuck head in, you understand me?!" I say in as threatening of a way a whisper can muster.
He backs off, and I hear yelling from the other three kids, it looks like they are kicking the shit out of Puke, and the new kids are just kind of milling around, unsure of what's going on.
I try to get some sleep, but through out the night, we can hear breaking bottles, and yelling somewhere between us and the other 3 kids, and by morning, we head out, thinking that there is no chance of catching out with these idiots around. We run into the other 3 on our way out, they are packed, and finding some good ass whompin sticks. They say that these kids were up all night throwing rocks at amtraks, and running around on the tracks out front. They are apparently sleeping in the bushes somewhere now, and 2 of the other three are ready to go give em a shitty wake up. We head off to catch a bus to a hitching point, and end up hopping out of Eugene later that night.
So yeah, Booger, Puke, and your friend Horseshit (who I met numerous times later), If y'all are reading this, go fuck yourselves. Don't like it? Come find me.
270976_2192933783780_1260238018_2571027_5947210_n.jpg

We ended up on pigs out of Eugene, possibly the sweetest ride for learning how to grind on train wheels. Started my first spike knife on this trip. (Sorry, just remembering after reading the uses for RR spikes thread.)
 

TheUndeadPhoenix

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So yeah, Booger, Puke, and your friend Horseshit (who I met numerous times later), If y'all are reading this, go fuck yourselves. Don't like it? Come find me.
The sad thing is I've met these fuckers -_- And they need the shit kicked out of them regardless. I met (a) Puke in SLO, fuckin dreadlock mohawk... WTF? Horseshit I met in LA, he has horse tattooed under one eye and shit under the other. Not sure about booger.
 

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It's a shame there wasn't an "unfortunate trackside accident". Oh well, the good thing about oogles is they're mostly self-eliminating.

Should've called the police. That would have cleared things up nice. Another reason I stay as far away from popular catch out spots as possible.

cxr - fuck oogles
 

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i can't tell you how many goddamn oogle stories i've heard
"oh man, i fuckin jumped out of this yard in this fuckin city with two bottles of whiskey and a space bag man! i got so fuckin wasted!"
"oh man i got so fuckin drunk when i was in this city! all i did was stay drunk as fuck the whole time!"
"oh man i'm so fuckin badass I only ride trains alone, while i'm wasted, and i'll only ride suicide cars!"
 

TheUndeadPhoenix

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i can't tell you how many goddamn oogle stories i've heard
"oh man, i fuckin jumped out of this yard in this fuckin city with two bottles of whiskey and a space bag man! i got so fuckin wasted!"
"oh man i got so fuckin drunk when i was in this city! all i did was stay drunk as fuck the whole time!"
"oh man i'm so fuckin badass I only ride trains alone, while i'm wasted, and i'll only ride suicide cars!"
lol @ all of them
 

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