Rest in Power Annah "Found" Willow (1 Viewer)

Joined
Aug 10, 2015
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118
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KCMO
I'm still super devastated to say my best fucking friend in the whole world, Found Willow, passed away from her struggle with congestive heart failure last month on October 15th. Her 25th birthday would have been this november 6th. She was a member of this site under the handle @Multifaceted. I'm particularly fucked up over it because she was closer to me than anyone else in my life had ever been. We had road dogged together for quite a few months in 2017 and had been partners in a relationship for about 2 years prior to that, she ended up breaking up with me on christmas of 2017 at a rainbow gathering at sequoia national park, my mental illness was getting in the way of our relationship but i don't hold it against her. even though we split ways and she took our beloved kitten with her, it was for the best and we met up down the way in our home state of texas and continued to be close friends with a good relationship, even traveled together again after that. Anyway we shared so many close experiences together, we struggled through heroin addiction together living in San Antonio, Dealt with the drudgery of shitty jobs for an entire winter working in Kansas city, living together in the basement of her dad's house. Living together on the streets in Portland keeping each other warm. Traveling with each other across Texas, hopping trains outta kirby yard which she wrote up a story about on here: https://squattheplanet.com/threads/hopped-my-first-train.30899/#post-226761

Raising our baby kitten, kiko on the road with Annah was one of the happiest experiences of my life and i will always fucking remember the love she showed that cat as well as my grimy ass self. Found was a beautiful soul that radiated positive energy. She was deeply fulfilled by traveling, loved meeting interesting people and drank in new experiences as if they gave her life. She showed love to all dirty kids and wanted to help everyone as much as she possibly could, she would kick down her last fucking dollar or cigarette. She also loved this community very much and loved being a part of it. i remember she was stoked when i showed her the site, her favorite part was the travel stories section. Before we actually took to the road it gave her so much inspiration. i know my homie Eric posted a thread about her but i kinda wanted to write a short biography of her and talk about her life some because i want people to know about her, and want to get some of these thoughts out of my own fucking head.

I think she was born in the Sea-Tac area in 1994 and lived there on and off throughout her life. She was given up for adoption as a kid, her mother was struggling with meth addiction. so she lived with her adopted mom, a cranky old hippy lady who is still super cool, and adopted dad, an alcoholic businessman and racing enthusiast, when i knew the man a couple years ago he had one prosthetic leg and drank a handle of evan williams every couple days. He's passed away now. The creepy thing was her birth father had died from the same heart condition at 24, just like Annah. As a child, she spent time living in Alabama, Missouri, Maryland, Washington, and finally Texas, where we went to high school together in San Antonio, my hometown. I met her through my other best friend Philly, ironically, I didn't like her much at first because i was super reserved and she was bubbly and chatty. but we ended up growing very close. We were the nerd outcasts that would sit on the floor outside of the cafeteria at lunch in high school. Annah would say stuff like, "we should live on the streets and be homeless together for a year" and i always thought that was an interesting thought, i guess it ended up becoming our reality eventually. She lived at these apartments with her adopted mom and her older sister. Many times Annah would let me crawl through the window and sleep on her floor. We would go on night time road trips to small towns in texas 70 or 100 miles away since she had a car, just driving so we could shoot the shit and get away from our boring lives. So her mom had this friend Jimmy, an old man who was a former crackhead and surf rock drummer, who was a writer living in this same apartment complex. She convinced Jimmy to let me live with him in an extra room, and soon me and Annah were hanging out all the time since we were neighbors. After Philly's devastating suicide in 2015 she was a huge moral support to me. We grew even closer after that experience and ended up in a relationship for a hot minute, living in San Antonio for a while , traveling here and there, then we moved to Kansas City, Missouri in late 2016 just before thanksgiving. We didn't know anyone there except Annah's adopted dad and stepmom, so we were all each other had for a while there, spent several months living together in this basement apartment which was actually really nice. it was our home for a while. It's funny how i miss the small, mundane everyday things now. I have so many good memories of watching movies together, cozy in our bed, grocery shopping and cooking together, taking the bus to downtown KCMO to walk on the bitter cold and windy streets. I loved it when she would cook biscuits and gravy or chicken fried steak, some recipe that her southern fried adopted mother taught her, that would warm our bodies in the harsh midwest winter. it was like seeing a family history in the flesh. After i spent some time working for Annah's brother at his house framing business, We both worked together at the car rental place at the Kansas city airport. We were detailing cars and delivering them to various places around the airport. sometimes i would be able to sneak a car out of there that we would joyride in for a night or two and drive around the city, those were awesome times looking back. We didn't have any friends there but our strongest bond was each other. Come to find out Annah's birth mom lived in the KCMO area, had gotten clean and was doing good. I was able to meet her and they were able to rebuild their relationship. When we grew bored of our comfortable apartment we decided to go on the road, hitching and hopping, getting rides by any means neccessary. We had a strong thirst for adventure, fueled by our imagination warping the fantasy and adventure books we read as kids and hell, even inspiration from this site here. Annah and i Traveled to so many fucking places together. Dallas, Austin, San Antone. Houston, where we went to a poetry slam and met a bad ass black female queer firefighter, who chilled with us, showed us around the hood and put us up for the night. little rock, murphreesboro, nashville, where she introduced me to her childhood neighbors and a pen pal from the internet. we went to portland, bremerton, and seattle, where we kissed on the puget sound ferry watching fireworks, and met her blood grandmother for the first time. she was a blind old lady that played an autoharp busking at pike place market. We took her to an ice cream shop and listened to her stories of annah's mysterious birth father while we licked on waffle cones. We hit the slabs for the jambo and ended up in california right when the massive thomas fires were going on near ventura, and we were trapped in santa barbara with our cat camping in a tent in the woods. Massive clouds of black smoke from the burning forests were hanging in the sky. this old hippy man named rainbow that we knew around town bought us amtrak tickets to LA to get out of the fires. We celebrated her 23rd birthday on the beach in oceanside, one of the best and most beautiful days of my life. she found 80$ cash on the ground at a train station the morning of and we ate hella fat. seeing her smile that day made my mangled heart feel complete. So we were fuckin traveling here and there and all over together. our paths intersected, joined and split many times as they do for all travelers. After we split ways, she went on to travel with the shining light kitchen and attended several gatherings, which was a passion of hers. she always felt a strong sense of acceptance and community at rainbow, dirty kid, and hippy gatherings.

in 2018 she got diagnosed with heart failure. It was devastating news and she went through so much damn suffering and pain in that year, in and out of the hospital constantly, sometimes for weeks at a time. I will always feel so fucked up and guilty for the days we spent fiending for dope and shooting up as they no doubt contributed to her illness. Although, all the tough shit she went through in a way helped make her the wonderful, kind and empathetic person she was. Annah was a strong, tough woman in terms of her positive spirit and faith that everything would work out the right way. she kept her loving and caring spirit and never lost hope. She even fuckin drove from missouri to washington by herself with her condition, drove back to texas with some help to be back with her loved ones in San Antonio. she did a great job fighting for her recovery even though the odds were stacked against her. the doctors were recommending that she get on the heart transplant list, but since she was a former IV user there was a 6 month period where they would monitor her condition, she had to stay completely clean. so she passed away while waiting to get on the actual transplant list, but i don't think she would have wanted to go through the whole transplant. she had gone through enough pain and close calls already, she almost died and was brought back so many times. she had chronic pain and fractures in her chest from all the times she had gotten CPR. the fucked medical care system let her down pretty bad but she wouldn't want us to be bitter about that of course. In Annah's last few months she was living back in San Antonio. she was in a relationship with this guy Marty, a good friend she had known for a while, he was kinda taking care of her while she stayed at his house. I have to give so much respect to Marty for saving her life by administering CPR when she became unresponsive one time, as well as just taking good care of her and making her life comfortable as possible with her condition. she passed away in her sleep while she was with her other ma, our family friend Mrs. Vicky. i take comfort in the fact that she passed in the presence of a woman who loved her and cared for her deeply, as well as the fact that she is no longer in suffering. its also comforting that we knew exactly how we felt about each other. she would tell me she loved me every time we would talk. i would tell her she was my favorite person. I love her and miss her so fucking much. Straight up, my life would be incomplete without her.

Annah was a kind and supportive friend, a caring partner, an aspiring spiritual healer and medicine woman. she was just a straight up, wonderful good good fucking person, positive vibes, bubbly and happy, just wanted to help people and make people feel good. she was my hippie vagabond angel. Her impact on this world will always be felt by those that knew her. Annah I love you always my dear.. Rest Easy baby girl. you will never be forgotten.
 

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