kidbob
Well-known member
I dont know where to start, other then to say, "it has already begun".
I got a life story, which is similar in many ways to many of you I assume.
Abuse, abandonment, detachment, depression...
Just a vicious cycle of "co-dependency" and inability to "let go" of "things that dont matter" except...some of those people really really matter to me.
I got a kid.
Cant change it despite how hard I tried to.
What's in the past is just that, a history lesson.
Hes 11.
I have little involvement with him do to my own realizations in my imperfections at a young age.
I have since GROWN.
I am realizing my faults daily.
Not just the act of being faulty, but the mind set that causes these faults in the first place.
I am aware I need help.
I dont think a therapist is really the solution tho.
I lack finances to pursue any kind of endeavor like that.
I'm working on it daily.
Truth:
I think I have an empathic mind set with narcissistic tendencies.
I beleive my sons mother embodies the very picture of a gaslighter.
I'm not trying to place blame or attack anyone, yet she causes me to retreat deep down into my psyche and I just end up feeling helpless.
I'm becoming aware of my own divinity and trying really hard to overcome all obstacles that are in my way in regards to my kid KNOWING that HIS FATHER is there for him, in all ways.
I know according to the books, we should just walk away from each other.
Shes toxic as fuck, and I dont have the clout to fight her in court.
I also have a tendency to be toxic.
I beleive she is a great mother, I know she does to a degree try really hard on my behalf.
I just feel lost.
Like I lost.
I feel trampled, and robbed.
I dont wanna "get even" ... I just wanna get "right".
So if any of you have advice... on dealing with toxic relationships that involve kids... could you help a brother out with some words of encouragement or direction...
I keep telling her that i want what is best for him. With or with out me.
She tells me that me being in his life is for the best... but everytime I get involved, she gaslights me in an attempt to push me away.
Her new husband has a background in psychology, and I feel he has been a silent partner driving her insanity bus rampant... but as I said...hes pretty silent...
Not saying they are bad people...
Not saying I'm better...
Just looking for some insight...
I really cant walk away from my son.
That's my dna.
THATS MY KID.
I take pride in saying that.
I want to put that pride in him.
I just dont know howto get her to let the past go.
I tried to bring the subject of gaslighting up to her...and true to form...she denied and then went off on me...
I just want my kid to be happy with me.
I want him to know the whole story in time. But I cant do that if she is always mentally abusing me.
Any way...gotta get back to work.
Yall have a good day.
I got a life story, which is similar in many ways to many of you I assume.
Abuse, abandonment, detachment, depression...
Just a vicious cycle of "co-dependency" and inability to "let go" of "things that dont matter" except...some of those people really really matter to me.
I got a kid.
Cant change it despite how hard I tried to.
What's in the past is just that, a history lesson.
Hes 11.
I have little involvement with him do to my own realizations in my imperfections at a young age.
I have since GROWN.
I am realizing my faults daily.
Not just the act of being faulty, but the mind set that causes these faults in the first place.
I am aware I need help.
I dont think a therapist is really the solution tho.
I lack finances to pursue any kind of endeavor like that.
I'm working on it daily.
Truth:
I think I have an empathic mind set with narcissistic tendencies.
I beleive my sons mother embodies the very picture of a gaslighter.
I'm not trying to place blame or attack anyone, yet she causes me to retreat deep down into my psyche and I just end up feeling helpless.
I'm becoming aware of my own divinity and trying really hard to overcome all obstacles that are in my way in regards to my kid KNOWING that HIS FATHER is there for him, in all ways.
I know according to the books, we should just walk away from each other.
Shes toxic as fuck, and I dont have the clout to fight her in court.
I also have a tendency to be toxic.
I beleive she is a great mother, I know she does to a degree try really hard on my behalf.
I just feel lost.
Like I lost.
I feel trampled, and robbed.
I dont wanna "get even" ... I just wanna get "right".
So if any of you have advice... on dealing with toxic relationships that involve kids... could you help a brother out with some words of encouragement or direction...
I keep telling her that i want what is best for him. With or with out me.
She tells me that me being in his life is for the best... but everytime I get involved, she gaslights me in an attempt to push me away.
Her new husband has a background in psychology, and I feel he has been a silent partner driving her insanity bus rampant... but as I said...hes pretty silent...
Not saying they are bad people...
Not saying I'm better...
Just looking for some insight...
I really cant walk away from my son.
That's my dna.
THATS MY KID.
I take pride in saying that.
I want to put that pride in him.
I just dont know howto get her to let the past go.
I tried to bring the subject of gaslighting up to her...and true to form...she denied and then went off on me...
I just want my kid to be happy with me.
I want him to know the whole story in time. But I cant do that if she is always mentally abusing me.
Any way...gotta get back to work.
Yall have a good day.