Luxury resorts: Stealth camping and otherwise exploiting them

[Tony Pro]

I've been backpacking around Asia for a while, currently in Bali. Been camping most nights.
I've got a family member who works for a major hotel chain and can pull strings to get me a discount once in a while. Thanks to him I was able to spend two nights in a 5* resort in Bali for the price of a hostel bunk in London. I'd never even seen the inside of one of these places, so I figured why not do it for science.
I took particular pleasure in telling the concierge I had a reservation, with three weeks' worth of dirt behind my ears, wearing the same shirt I left Boston in, and a wool blanket slung over my shoulder with wet socks hanging from my belt.
This hotel is part of the massive Nusa Dua complex; hotels as far as the eye can see, and a long artificial beach (they buried a pristine coral reef to create it)
Anyway, in arsing around the place for a couple days, it occurred to me how easy it would have been to stay in the complex for free. I cleaned myself up and explored every single hotel within a mile radius, and nobody looked twice at me. "Hello sir, welcome home, how is your day?" Ask a question like "Which way is the computer room?" and they'll tell you no questions asked. Apparently as long as you are white they just assume you're a guest. Out of habit I've been scouting for places where you could stealth camp. Nowhere near the hotels themselves, but I noted a few patches of undergrowth near the shore where, after dusk, you could easily set up a tarp. The key would be to avoid looking suspicious.
So here's my theory: if you can play the part of a trust fund baby, you could whoop it up in a hotel complex like this indefinitely without paying a dime.
Unfortunately these places give almost nothing away for free.

Things a well-dressed hobo would have free access to:
-All pool and jacuzzi areas, across at least twenty 5-star hotels
-Beach chairs
-Free towels
-Computers and printing
-Lounges, magazines, newspapers, smut novels
-Public bathrooms
-Shuttle to overpriced, hotel-owned shopping mall
-Beach waiters will collect your empty Bintang bottles and potato chip wrappers. Shit, they'll even fold your towel.
No need for showers if you do enough swimming

Drawbacks:
-Food. Unfortunately I haven't seen any bowls of counter pretzels or free samples. I've been half-starving for three days. I had to hike half an hour to get to the nearest supermarket, and was questioned by police on my way back in.
-Water. They say it's non-potable from the taps, and a bottle of water costs $6 at the bars here. Guests get complimentary Aquafina delivered to their room
-Socializing with guests isn't easy outside of bars and restaurants. Might be a lonely life.
-Getting into the complex might be tricky. This place is so fucked up they do a mirror-check on every car for explosives. There are metal detectors, but you only have to go through them if you have brown skin. Not even kidding.

Honestly I'd be bored stiff if I spent any longer here, but if I were getting this luxury treatment for free, I don't know if I could get enough.
Anyone ever exploited the freedom to roam these places afford white people? I've been kicked out of my room, but I'm tempted to spend tonight in a wysteria bush just to see if I can.

 

[Koala]

Hah, awesome!

On vacations in FL sand Cape Cod growing up, my dad and I would use the pools, athletic centers, and showers of really nice resorts that he could have afforded but was too thrifty/cheap to rent.

He raised me on "why pay when you can get it for free?" and "do whatever you want until someone tells you to stop". And thus is where I believe I became destined to the StP lifestyle.

 

[Tony Pro]

Sounds like good dad-times. I've never been able to decide whether it's a good or bad thing that my mother raised me an opportunist. Here I am sleeping in a wysteria bush, for better or for worse.

 

[Renegade]

Good article man. I dont have too much experience squatting in hotels but i do exploit the free Continental breakfasts at every hotel i find when traveling..also we use to go up to the desk and ask for extra pillows for our room and walk out the back door when on the road.. stuff like that.. its fun.

 

[Tude]

Cool write up Surprised they don't have a little continental type breakfast and coffee in the lobby.

 

[T Spoon]

oh man i really like this thread. i always want to be a bum in other countries but get hung up on how to navigate those things. it seems easier in western countries, but i think that's just because i grew up in those kind of environments.

i'm surprised you're struggling with food. most hotels that i stay in in SEA have breakfast buffets, and the only thing they ask for is what your room number is. seems like it'd be pretty easy to lie about that, but i haven't tried that myself.

i'd never through of water, but that's a really good point. granted, if you're in bali or other more tropical places, you could harvest your own rain water? just a thought.

 

[Tony Pro]

i'd never through of water, but that's a really good point. granted, if you're in bali or other more tropical places, you could harvest your own rain water? just a thought.

That's a good idea actually; sleeping under a tarp during rainy season you could fill a gallon overnight if you rigged up a funnel from the tarp.

And yeah, even at the Michelin-star restaurants they have here, all they do is ask for your room number. Thought about getting the $60 buffet and charging it to Joe Blow in room number 2. Surely dining and dashing couldn't be that easy? It would probably be blamed on the restaurant staff though, so I'd only do that in case of genuine need.

 

[T Spoon]

And yeah, even at the Michelin-star restaurants they have here, all they do is ask for your room number. Thought about getting the $60 buffet and charging it to Joe Blow in room number 2. Surely dining and dashing couldn't be that easy? It would probably be blamed on the restaurant staff though, so I'd only do that in case of genuine need.

from my experience breakfast is usually included in the price of the room in SEA hotels. so really, no skin off anyone's back?

 

[etpyh]

from my experience breakfast is usually included in the price of the room in SEA hotels. so really, no skin off anyone's back?

Yeah but the problem is that you don't have a room the breakfast would be included in and if you just put out a random room the people who let it go through would have to pay for it, or at least the reasoning goes along this lines. I don't think the staff would have to come up for it in one way or another though, I mean if that's how the resort works it's obvious that there is not much the staff can do about it.

 

[T Spoon]

i was just talking to my friend about it. he said your best bet would be to wait and watch people leave their rooms, and when you see someone leave their room take note of their room number and use that one.