Hi I'm Hannah :p

[Odin]

Oh I feel honored hell yea farts are dooopppeee

I've been led to believe that women fart sugar and spice and every thing nice.
I hope to become a professional flatulist some day... perhaps I can perform for you?

http://www.wikihow.com/Fart-Quietly

wikiHow to Fart Quietly
Three Methods:Minimizing the Sound and Smell of Your FartAdjusting Your Diet to Reduce GasAdjusting Your Daily Habits to Reduce GasCommunity Q&A

Though farting loudly may have been a big hit when you were a kid, in the adult world, farting loudly won't help you make any friends -- and it won't win you many fans. But holding in your gas can lead to health issues like bloating, indigestion, and heartburn[1]. Farting is a natural and necessary occurrence that everyone does every day. There's no shame in having to fart, but you can minimize the sound and smell of your farts and adjust your diet and your daily habits to reduce how often you fart.


Method 1
Minimizing the Sound and Smell of Your Fart View attachment 38241

Those are are the best flatul'ie, loud and dry and gassy... like standing in front of a Sahara sand storm full of dust size dingleberries.

 

[Roxannefartz]

I've been led to believe that women fart sugar and spice and every thing nice.
I hope to become a professional flatulist View attachment 38246 some day... perhaps I can perform for you?




Those are are the best flatul'ie, loud and dry and gassy... like standing in front of a Sahara sand storm full of dust size dingleberries.

One day maybe, you have to have a phd to even think about performing for me

 

[Odin]

One day maybe, you have to have a phd to even think about performing for me

I'm afraid my "performance" feee is a bit steep... I suppose I could deliver pro bono... but it would be a basic sphincter squeek...

My farts bring all the chicks to the yard... ::joyful::

 

[Roxannefartz]

the best onezz are the type known as "The Midnite Special"...They are ususally instigated by sushi or taco bell. And are extremely hot and sneaky, with a creamy gurgle at the end

These can be associated with ghost peppers aswell whew!!

 

[Odin]

the best onezz are the type known as "The Midnite Special"...They are ususally instigated by sushi or taco bell. And are extremely hot and sneaky, with a creamy gurgle at the end

The best ones are sitting on the toilet, a portion of brown n lump cork drops to float and then a rush of wind blasts out your orifice to resonate in the porcelain bowl n echo in your mind.... before the rest of the brown snake makes it's exit.

 

[Odin]

a floppy yellow pancake

that sounds like after a night binge drinking and eating colby jack cheese,,,,::facepalm::

 

[Matt Derrick]

what about when youre at a hot chick's house, watching ferngully with her and drinking fine wine, but then the chinese food you had earlier starts burbling in yer colon like a happy infant, and so you excuse yourself telling her youre going to open another fresh bottle but then as youre waddling down her hall that smells faintly of fresh cut herbs and you cant hold it no more and every step you take corresponds with a quick MG42 "Prrp prrp prrp".....and then you make it almost to the bowl but then a floppy yellow pancake oozes out Pffffffflllrrrpppp-pt!!" into your Hilfiger bikini briefz?

This is the Hemingway fart. Nota Bene.

enough... you've brought this thread way off topic as it is.

 

[Johny]

I'm heading to missoula minds from Tennessee, if I never cross the Mississippi River again it will be to soon.
Welcome and safe travels