Hey all, I'm Santi...looking for some advice please

[earthtravelhippie]

So, to keep things short, I am at a crossroads. I'm not sure what to do. I live in southern california, and I struggle badly with addiction. I have no means to leave the area officially (moving to another location with housing), and I am afraid I am going to die/end up in a really bad situation due to my addiction if I stay. My home life is fine, I have everything I could ever need, but I am still miserable. My mom died from cancer four years ago and she was my main guide in life. I was going to meetings and working the program but fell out of it. I really feel like I don't belong in society. It's like a pain in my side. I want to be in nature and on the road, but I feel ashamed for wanting to do it. I am just so unhappy with my life and I want to see new people, places, and things. I don't want to be on drugs, but I always go back because I find day to day life so redundant and useless. I feel like I'm not living my life. I don't mean to sound like a whiney bitch with what I am saying lol. I really just need some advice from you all. You travelers are doing what I want to do so badly, even if it's very difficult. I am almost 18, so I know that's a big thing and leaving now would be a bad idea bc I am a minor. I am considering waiting until I am 18 and hitching up to oregon and possibly living in an intentional community. IDK. Just needed to vent. Thank u all I love all of you.

 

[Coywolf]

You gotta get out of SoCal, yo. It's going to be incredibly difficult to overcome addiction being around that area, and the triggers you have around to go back to using.

I don't know where you are at in SoCal, but it might be worth going to the nearest place where travelers are (train yards, hitching spots, downtown areas that people use to busk/make money...etc) and just talk to some people.

But also, the road is not a great place to try and get sober. It works or some people, but it also takes others to a darker place than they were at before.

Read the forums on here, know what you have to get together before you set out. Then read about how to do so. Try and hitch or something a short distance. Go out to the coast and back or something (not through LA). Ride a bunch of public transit or a Greyhound or Scamtrack somewhere. Spend a few nights outdoors.

You'll see pretty quickly whether traveling is where you wanna be or not.

Stay strong, and good luck.

 

[The Hiker]

I was in a similar situation at your age, minus the drug addiction. Try to do everything you can to get ready for life as an adult, whether that's saving money, getting rid of stuff you don't want/don't want to have to transport or store, read these forums as much as you can, anything.

Consider WWOOFing, or any kind of work trade program to start. It's a good way to learn how to be independent while still having some support (food, housing, etc) from your host. Some of them are definitely sketchy and will take advantage of the cheap labor, but many are good as well.

Don't be ashamed for not wanting what you're told to want. The american dream is a terrible fantasy, and there's nothing wrong with wanting something else, or with not knowing what kind of life you want.

Blessings

 

[sevedemanos]

would second wwoof.org. very good way to go for the younger crowd.. you will meet the right kind of people that way, in a drug free environment, who will teach you all kinds of things.

its important we dont muddle the term ‘travel’ with what is better defined as transient partying. most “travelers” are just out there looking for a rush. loads of degeneracy. def not the best place for a kid fresh out of hs trying to get sober.

apply for college, plan ahead, check out farms around. youll meet the coolest people from all over the world.

would highly recommend green string institute, in petaluma, just north of the bay. they do internship program every april-june. too late this year ofc but, anyhow.

stay strong. stay focused. associate only with those that inspire you, that challenge you. your 20s will be gone in a flash

best of luck

 

[bote]

Really sorry to hear about your mom, that's rough. This might sound strange, but don't give yourself too hard a time about your addiction issues and bad feelings. Even if you didn't have drug problems, being a teenager is fucking hard and for people who don't fit in, it's normal that you feel a lot of pressure. Best thing you can do is try to keep calm, keep a low profile, and just get through this next year or two. If you can finish high school, do it, it will save you so much trouble later. But if you can't that's okay. Just take your time, you got lots of it ahead of you, you're gonna have so many adventures in your life, there's no need to rush or feel like you are missing out. The most important thing, keep a low profile. You feel trapped right now partly cause you're a minor and cant control your situation. That will change very soon and you'll be able to get and do what you want. But if you start getting caught up in bullshit, you'll just be trapped by other stuff. So be smart and have patience.

 

[Sameer]

Sometimes a person needs a little help because they can't accomplish things on their own. Go to rehab or go to a meeting and find a sponsor. You just need a fresh start to find peace and happiness.... Good luck to you!

 

[daveycrockett]

Didn't read any of it. Take your own advice.