hello & what the fuck (1 Viewer)


Aug 23, 2010
whattuuup errybooodyy?! im khiara, im 23, and i have no idea what the fuck im doing. i am not going to tell you what i do or what i enjoy or what makes me me. i am going to tell you my current predicament because i think it will give you a better idea of where im at than my favorite music & pasttimes will..last week my car died. 2 nights ago my apartment flooded. i can no longer get through one day of job as a waitress. i dont have much money. i dont have much patience these days, although i used to have a lot. i dont know what i want, and am beginning to think i dont know who i am. i am in the midst of an on again off again relationship that has been driving me mad with love, happiness, sadness & rage for the past 5 years. i am so confused that i can barely live my life. i used to be very carefree & happy. i dont exactly know what happened, but i have some ideas. i found this website by accident, while reading something from matador. i have an intense desire to travel, to see the whole world, to live as many different ways as possible, to experience everything, just as all kinds of people would. i want to travel for perspective. i want to feel what it is like to be homeless, penniless, careless. i want to know what every lifestyle feels like. part of me wants to vagabond, roam, wander, whatever you like to call it. i want to go everywhere & do everything. this part of me thinks i will find freedom, and fall in love with this lifestyle. perhaps "find" happiness through this, or "find" myself. as i write this i know that happiness & the self are not found, but created, though i will continue searching for both.. the other part of me thinks i am just looking for something that i will not find outside of myself. this part of me wants to stay with my boyfriend, to have a relationship, to make a home, to make dinner & babies & have a garden & enjoy the "finer" things in life, whatever that means, and to live a more "settled" life. this part of me believes a lifestyle of travel & freeloading will get old fast & that i will not enjoy it, it will not be what i dream of. obviously i am full of fear & doubt, and lack self-confidence.

anyway, i dont really know why i am here. i guess im looking for some ideas, guidance, words of wisdom, connections, maybe some stories or speculation as to just what the fuck i shall do. thanks for listening.
love from ny,
me :love:
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Aug 15, 2009
The Pine Barrens of New Jersey
if i were you i'd stay around NY and see if the lifestyle is for you. just try homebummin it up and if thats too much for you then traveling will definitely be too much. being homless is not always fun but alot of the time it can be depending on who your with and what your doing and where your at. but if you need to find yourself as you say then by all means go and find yourself. NY is a pretty good place to start at. im sure there is alot of squat houses and shit out there. be careful, its a dangerous lifestyle but if you can handle it its a really good way to live care free and just doing what ever the fuck you want without the need for money or having anyone tell you what to do.
good luck and be safe in your travels!


I deleted myself
Hey WS,

I'm fairly new to this site, too. But, by the sounds of things, you probably need to hit the road. I got a chance to travel last year, and I can tell you that it really lets you clear your head. sometimes thats all you need to see the bigger picture.

Make sure you do your research, though. Things can go wrong quickly, if you aren't careful. When you're doing research here, make sure you use the search button first, then ask about it. other wise the forum ends up with seven or eight versions of the same thread.

Good luck, hope you find what you're looking for.
Feb 21, 2016
Algodres, portugal
I been on the road for thirty years, once you get through the fear, you find that the universe provides. It helps to have some skills, as you don't need much ,which you can cover with cash jobs along the way, and preferably to play a small hardy musical instrument so you can busk.

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