He said She said. Whats a girl to do?

[jellyfish]

Sorry, I'm kind of going to rant here...
Alright. sooo. I'm kicking it down to TX to hang with one of my friends for awhile and she's living in a house full of guys, one of which is quite the looker. I've been talking to said guy for the past... oh... month, month and a half, and so far its been good conversation. I've really been looking forward to meeting him especially because he told me I can crash in his bed instead of on their couch.

Well obviously this couldn't be as easy as I was hoping. I asked him if he had a girl and he said that he's seeing someone but they're not "official". I told him I didn't want to step on anyone's toes but he said that I shouldn't worry about it too much. I talked to him last night and it was the same thing as usual. Can't wait to see you, how many more days, etc etc. Got me really excited to get on the road... That is until 9 this morning when my phone started ringing and said it was him but when I answered it was a girl on the other end. She said something along these lines.

"Hey, this is ____'s girlfriend. You have to stop texting him, its really disrespectful. You can't wait to see him? He can't wait to see you? I don't know what you girls do up there [in wisconsin] but down here it isn't going to fly. He's mine so back off."

I told her to talk to him about it and that I didn't know they were going out. So on and so forth. But she hung up before I got too far.

So obviously she was looking through his phone, I mean she was pulling up stuff from our conversation last night. I really don't know what the hell to do about this situation. Should I assume he's lying to get a piece when I get there? Or should I assume she's being a crazy over protective prospective that thinks she's already got him? UGH. I still have 10 days before I leave and already someone down there doesn't like me.

HELP PWEASE!

 

[macks]

Sounds like she's jealous and he's either leading you on or not very interested in the relationship he's in.

If this guy is worth a damn in a romantic relationship then he should be able to be honest and open when talking about his relationships with other people. Maybe just ask him what's up?

My two cents, good luck!

 

[finn]

Okay, you have a crush on this guy, but the fact is that he is iffy at best. As in it's okay for him to be with you because he hasn't made the relationship status "official," but lets ignore the technicality that he's allowed for himself and consider that he's chosen a "prospective" who is "crazy over protective" and wants him while distrusting him at the same time. Not to mention that she obviously isn't very good at communicating- it seems that he's not terribly picky about who he dates or leaves his phone with. My instincts tell me that he thinks he's a playa.

 

[PFAT]

Seeing that he does have some sort of "thing", official or not, yeah he's no good.
He might be an alright guy if he didn't have that thing and if he ditches that thing for you then go for it.
But that's not likely.
Fk him.

 

[PFAT]

Fk him.

Not literally.

 

[coldsteelrail]

Just because you have been talking to this guy who is really hot, and you get along, and want some nooky, and have been really looking forward to his welcoming bed...doesn't mean when you get there, and meet this dude in real life, that you will find him attractive and still want to hop into his bed. In real life, you wait to figure out who someone is, what their expectations are about relationships, and if you can trust them, before you hop into bed with someone. You might meet this guy, and realise that you really aren't sexually into him, and not want to hop into his crumby, cum stained bed.
In my experience, if a guy says he has a sort of girlfriend, it's not official, it's almost over, etc. that means he has a girlfriend, and it is likely going to cause trouble to hook up with him.
A dude's bed is not a prize. Take that comfy couch, spacious couch, make it your own, keep your bags packed, and don't spread your stuff all over their living room, and scout out the situation with this guy, find out who he is, and what is going on with this person he's seeing, and concentrate about getting along with the friend you are going to visit, before you hop into bed with him.
This girl is reading his text conversations, she told you to back off this guy, she regards him as hers.
This guy told you that he is seeing someone.
Both of them are telling you the same story. They are romantically involved with each other. She is not just a crazy lady obstacle, who you have jump over to take the place next to him in bed.
You have decide for yourself if it's worth it to hook up with this dude, and you have to decide when you get there, and after you've set yourself up on the couch.
You cannot trust that he will tell you the truth about his relationship. I mean, trust is great and it's important, but you can never fully take anyone's word for the truth, b/c truth is something that can change, and depends on personal perspective.
You have to decide whether or not it's worth it to hook up with this guy, regardless of whether or not he and his girlfriend are 'official'.
But again, he is not some prize. He is a man. They are silly. They will do anything to get some action, they will tell you anything. They will believe what they are telling you, and they will make you believe them, because they are so damn cute, and smell great, and feel nice to hold.
Take that couch, and spend your energy on having fun with your friend, and with your new surroundings. Your little romance could be icing on the cake, but it is not the cake, you dig?

 

[tallhorseman]

Men...strait men...let the Putty lead us around like it has a choke-collar around our neck. We fight for it. Some go to jail for it, which is a lesson in counter-productivity in itself.

You need to concentrate on what's best for you. Don't be afraid to ask the dude, and better still, the girl, questions. Assess before you act. Develop an analytical alter-ego and let it guide you through these situations. Never place a mans interests above your own.

My opinion.

 

[jellyfish]

speak of the devil, in the middle of reading all of your FABULOUS advice he texted me apologizing for her calling me. ugh.

thank you thank you thank you for all the input!!!!
i'm just going to let the situation cool down for now. i have better things to think about than whatever smoke this guy may be blowing out his ass... and i don't need someone hating me before i even get there. plus the chick that called me is pretty tight with my friend i'm visiting and my friend said she's a pretty down girl. but yeah. i guess we'll just wait and see! as for sleeping arrangements, couches are fabulous. and if i really feel like it i can always set up my tent in the backyard. hehehe.

thanks mucho!

 

[steelcitybrew]

But again, he is not some prize. He is a man. They are silly. They will do anything to get some action, they will tell you anything. They will believe what they are telling you, and they will make you believe them, because they are so damn cute, and smell great, and feel nice to hold.

Well, aren't we the sexist type.

Because women don't cheat, lie, and manipulate.

Women can hide behind that facade all they want. Men are still better at sports, peeing, and hard work.

haha
i kid i kid....but seriously.
haha

 

[coldsteelrail]

Alright, it's silly to reply now, especially 'cause the poster said topic is done.
however, i agree with you steelcitybrew, i guess it was a bit of a sexist comment, but it wasn't the only gender specific comment on this page. I should have said:
People in general will say anything, and believe it themselves, to turn the situation in their favour. You gotta be careful trusting anyone, even yourself.
P.S. as for your sexist comments, posted just in fun i am assuming, if men can pee so well, tell me why i am often cleaning up piss from the walls, floor, toilet base, anything in the general vicinity of the toilet, after a man uses my toilet?
No, wait. Don't tell me. This is not a gender battle, and you were just joking around, i supose, and although unfortunately in 2010, sexism is still a relevent topic, I don't want to take this further.

 

[steelcitybrew]

haha i know i know. I agree with you.
And yeah Im not sure why we suck at aiming. Just one of those things.

 

[Ravie]

I wouldnt go there after that. it would just end up in drama. Tell him to come to you if you mean so much to him. if its okay for you to travel to him dont you think its fair for him to come to you? then at least you dont have to worry about some crazy bitch and her friends jumping you. she sounds like the type to play dirty. No man is worth traveling so far just to get a black eye and probably get ran out without him defending you. I know it sucks, but he's probably still with her otherwise she's realy good at stealing phones. If thats the case, he will take her side before yours if it came down to it. Guys are assholes. especially the housies that are obviously trying to cheat on their girlfriend.

 

[jellyfish]

yeah. i've been talking to my friend that i'm going to visit that lives with him and she told me that there are plenty of fish in the barrel down there. she's the main reason i'm going down there. me and her are basically like sisters, so i know if shit hits the fan she'l back me up. but i'm not planning on letting the feces fly anytime soon. if he's still interested when i get there then alright, if not i'm over it. playing the field is much more fun anyway