Fought a bunch as a kid but never anything entertaining. I was witness to far more entertaining fights though. In band class, this dude started dumping his spit valve onto the back of this dudes neck. Guy sitting next to the guy getting spit on his neck turned around and told him if he did it to him he was going to break his jaw. Jerk engages his biggest smirk and blow spit on the guys shirt. Spitblower gets beat with his own trombone and the whole band room becomes an instrument mosh pit as chairs are being knocked all around and all these expensive instruments get bashed up. Spitblower ends up with no shirt, a broken trombone and a split nose and a fractured rib. I think the damage total was like 12k dollars. It was a huge ordeal and the Keebler Elf looking band teacher almost quit over it.
Then this 20 year old black chick beat this 7th grade inbred kid for shouting racial slurs on the bus. Same kid got his nose broke and strangled by an 8ft tall Irish dude with a testosterone problem. Another time, this Mexican kid who was actually Puerto Rican but everyone called him a Mexican (Usually starting a fight) tried to sell some weed out of a binder filled with weed in ziplock bags (like an ounce in total prolly) to the inbred kid. They get to arguing, with the inbred kid saying he is going to report him. They get off the bus and are in the school all going to the gym or whatever. Inbred kid says he is telling the nearest teacher to search Mexican guy. Sure enough they see a teacher walking away and inbred kid goes to say something and gets slapped across the face. It scratches him and draws some small blood like a cat scratch. One of the big goons walking behind them shoves both and tells them to go cat fight elsewhere along with some other insulting things. Everyone starts laughing at both of them and they get into a scratching match, windmilling and slinging their claws like women who carry dogs in their purses. Everyone is laughing at this spectacle and eventually some dude shows up and restrains both of them. Mexican kid gets sent to another school for like 3 years and his older brother is busted for growing weed. Riding the bus was always fun times. Especially because I either got the bus that went through the worst ghetto in the county or the worst trailer park in the county.
None of my fights were funny though. It was just the typical scared kid that started a fight with me and got beat or some trashy guy that fought back but wasn't really good. School fights get broken up before they get started. Nobody got stomped or seriously injured. Well, one got stabbed or something but that isn't really a fight.
My best was when I fought this pudgy spoiled little white kid in the middle of the gym floor. (He deserved it.) 6th, 7th, and 8th grade were all pretty much present since it was when all the buses and cars unloaded and all the kids had to wait for the school rooms to open up. So the gym is loaded down with nobody in the middle of the floor and this little chump sticks a staple in my arm. I tell him if he does it again, he is going to have to fight. So he goes away for a second, he comes back and takes a pencil and a rubberband and shoots this stumpy pencil into my side, breaking the tip off in me. I jumped up and he took off running. He stopped in the middle of the gym yelling for teachers or coaches or something. He doesn't even try to fight back, he just takes his beating, he doubles over and I grab his shirt and knee him in the face (May have taken it too far at this point.) and he falls downward while I still have his shirt and jacket or whatever. This fat blob jiggle to the floor and takes off running shirtless outside. I stood there and coaches swarmed in at the sound of the gym going crazy. I was grabbed and throw to the ground by some idiot and they had to go find this kid in the woods behind the school with his face covered in blood and shirtless. Later that day, his parents talk about suing and all this other crap but having a broken pencil wound and other kids backing my story it doesn't go anywhere. Eventually after suffering 2-3 weeks of abuse from kids making fun of him he is withdrawn and the family moves away.
I have a bunch more but most aren't really entertaining to hear about like that. The more time that goes by I get the more polarized. It is far more difficult to get me in a stage that I want to fight but at that point, I'd probably just stab you or have already maced you. I don't ever look for trouble and leave it when I find it so if things come down to it, you'd have to be so ardent in trying to cause me harm that you are basically asking to get seriously injured. Live and let live.
