Since the Greyhound topic was resurrected, I'll post a more detailed version of one of my bathroom stories involving it, since it's probably best to keep this vulgar content to one topic and not pollute the whole site with these abominable experiences. The Greyhound topic can be found here:
Share your greyhound/shame hound/dirty dog horror stories - https://squattheplanet.com/threads/share-your-greyhound-shame-hound-dirty-dog-horror-stories.37680/
Sometime last decade, I was on a Greyhound bus en-route to the next stop where there was a 30 minute layover. The bathroom on the bus was not in usable condition, as the toilet seat was splattered with various bodily fluids, and there were blood and needles everywhere. I was holding in a massive emergency crap. That's what I get for going through an entire 32 oz can of mixed nuts, a pint of blueberries, a 1 lb bag of carrots, and a bunch of other snacks thus far during the bus ride, and from having eaten two full entrees from a Thai restaraunt before the trip started. My insides felt like they were about to burst open due to all of the content I had crammed into them and which was processed.
About 20 hours into the bus ride, the bus I was on pulled into the next station for a layover. I could feel every bump jostle my digestive tract around as the bus was going slowly over the pavement, shooting pain all over my body, as if there was a bowling ball sloshing about inside. Everyone was ordered off the bus for cleaning. I was one of the first off, got inside the station, and there was already a line for the Mens' room.
By the time my place in line had gotten into the Mens' room, I noticed that both urinals had black trashbags over them and out of order signs. There were also two stalls visible from where I stood, both doorless. The back stall offered some degree of privacy, as its user was mostly shielded by the larger partition due to it being a handicapped stall. All you'd see was the user's knees, ankles, and shoes, unless you walked in. The stall adjacent to it, had its user visible to anyone in the room waiting in line.
There was an old Santa Claus-looking man standing in front of me. When it was his turn, he went into the back stall. I saw his pants drop to the floor with his feet facing away from the toilet, his knees visible in front of the partition from where I stood. The dude pissing in the nearby stall finished. I had a line of people behind me waiting for a toilet. I was debating in my head whether I could hold it until the bus was cleaned, as my insides were throbbing in pain and it took every effort to keep from filling my pants with a massive volume of feces. I took a step forward and realized I wasn't going to be able to hold it for another 5 minutes, let alone until the bus was ready for me to reboard. It was beginning to force itself out and there was nowhere else to go. Any other building I could think of was a long enough walk away that I'd probably miss my bus, assuming I didn't crap myself trying to do the awkward crab walk there. Remember Cheech and Chong's "Up in Smoke" where Cheech was pleading with his buttcheecks to stay together? This was THAT sort of situation. This was the only restroom I'd have access to before I could get back on the bus. I was going to either poop here, or in my pants.
Reluctantly but without any time to spare, I decided to take a seat in the only available toilet. As I was hastily lowering my pants to take my seat upon the throne of porcelain, one 20-something man replied: "Oh geez. Clear out everyone! This kid's taking a crap!" I heard some quiet chatter and muffled laughter at my expense. Everyone waiting in line in the Mens' room could see me sitting there with my pants lowered to my upper legs, my ass exposed, and my shirt covering my nethers to preserve whatever privacy I could in such a screwed up shituation. To make matters worse, I was the only one there wearing dress clothes, which made me stand out from the crowd who was dressed much more casually. I looked like some Mennonite youth the way I was dressed, and there I was, now sitting on a toilet in view of an unwanted audience. Intimidating and embarrassing doesn't even begin to describe it.
I sat there as the log loudly crackled out of my ass, interspersed with the occasional fart. The solid morass that I was extruding made a tickling and popping sensation with a slightly jagged texture as it effortlessly, and somewhat painfully, slid out, forcing my butt cheeks apart. Both me and the old man were now using the only available toilets. Everyone in line was waiting for one to avail itself, and I was in their field of vision with my pants at my thighs, baring my hairless ass to everyone who could see, making embarrassing bodily noises.
After about 3 minutes, the old man finished and wiped up. I wasn't even halfway done. Now everyone in line had to walk passed my stall to pee. The log was still slowly working its way out, making the same crackling noises it had been for the last 3 minutes. I dared not bear down on it and push, because it was already painful enough. It was a monster of a turd, and eventually it required pushing as it widened. I had to regain my breath to keep gently pushing it out. I could feel a warm chunky wetness all over the middle of my glutes. A father and small child walked passed me, the kid staring at me as I sat there with my butt exposed and my pants awkwardly at my upper thighs with my dress shirt covering my front. When they got to the back stall adjacent to the one I was using, the kid admitted he had to poop, but convinced his father he could wait until they got back on the bus because he was not comfortable doing it without a door for coverage. If only I had the same luxury.
Everyone waiting in line took their turn to use the back stall to pee, having to walk passed me as I awkwardly sat there.
The fetid morass of foul-smelling organic solids finally dropped out after another 10 minutes or so.
By the time I was rolling the paper, easily 15 people walked passed me sitting in that doorless stall to use the only other toilet. Another 10+ saw me sitting there while waiting in line or using the sinks. The maintenance crew had come in to work on the urinals, all of whom saw me there, which forced those waiting in line to move closer in front of the stall I was seated in, now directly in front of me.
The wiping was the most awkward, and messy part. I was pulling wads of soft, warm excrement off of my butt that had smeared itself all over me, and it felt as if everyone in the room was watching me while I did this, even though they were trying to look away. It was not a comfortable feeling to be doing this in front of everyone. I felt disgusted with the whole situation. It took me easily 3 minutes to wipe, as people continued walking back and forth passed my stall to pee, some of whom I had seen on the bus just minutes prior, while the line advanced forward in front of where I sat.
I finally finished. I got my pants back up all the way, zipped up, buckled my belt, and flushed. The turd was stuck in the drain hole and stretched all the way to the rim of the toilet, and was as big around as my forearm. I flushed again. It didn't budge. And again. It wasn't going anywhere. The commercial-grade plumbing fixture was no match for the gargantuan mudbrick I had deposited. I worried that I'd flood the floor with a subsequent flush.
I left the stall in defeat, knowing the maintenance crew would be able to address it, a line of about 10 people still waiting for a toilet to use. I was embarrassed and got out as quickly as I could, probably washing my hands for no more than 5 seconds, as I heard someone exclaim "What the fuck!?" upon entering the doorless stall I just used and seeing my deposit blocking the toilet up. In total, I'd probably spent about 5 minutes waiting in line, another 15 minutes taking an exceptionally large poop, and another 3 minutes wiping.
As I was boarding the bus, some of the people who saw me on the toilet gave me knowing glances. There was brief mention of the substandard condition of the facilities and that "poor kid" who ended up having to use a doorless stall and clogging the toilet among the chatter I heard on the bus, but thankfully, no one pointed out it was me. I read my book and tried to pretend I didn't hear that, lest I be outed as the culprit. But some of the people on the bus saw me using that toilet anyhow.
I also have ANOTHER toilet story involving Greyhound that I'll tell another day. It involved the back of the bus, and having to crack the door open to ask strangers for wiping material because there was none available.
